tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753591549042633617.post5309213940919648771..comments2024-03-16T04:18:31.954-05:00Comments on LDS (Mormon) Stake Presidents Blog: The Stimulation of one’s Holy Organs, and the Restored GospelStake Pres.http://www.blogger.com/profile/16681281146162453967noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753591549042633617.post-91096547101734263632013-10-01T16:53:42.439-05:002013-10-01T16:53:42.439-05:00I also am searching for the truth to this question...I also am searching for the truth to this question. I am not involved in the practice but I have children for whom I am seeking guidance on how to teach. Currently I am under the opinion that abstinance, if for no other reason seems more of "the higher road". It also seems that those who engage in the practice are trying to walk a very fine line and the consequences can take life in some very unhealthy and undesirable places. <br /><br />As I said earlier I have not come to any definite conclusions yet but have found some interesting info.<br /><br /> 1. Read this: http://www.mormonstudies.net/pdf/mormon_masturbation.pdf.<br /><br />There are some valid points made here. Bottom line there never has been an "Official" doctrine made on the matter and most of the information we do have has come from the opinions of those who have grown up in a different era and an environment filled with less facts about the truth and consequences of the matter. Furthermore, while I happen to lean on the side of Pres. Kimball's thinking from "Miracle of Forgiveness", and the strong points he makes, (as I doubt anyone will ever go too far wrong following those who are more righteous and more spiritual), I also have to recognize that this book was also his opinion (although a very good one). He was not the prophet at the time of its writing and he doesn't say "Thus saith the Lord". Hence we all have to accept that revelation may come giving us greater clarity on the subject that may not be exactly what we were expecting. Until that time we should be seeking the Spirit as the Spirit will guide us into all truth regardless whether there is official doctrine or not.<br /><br />2. I am surprised that no one has asked a Bishop to look for the latest direction that is printed in the Bishops Handbook. I have a friend who called her Relief Society President who asked her specifically what the manual given to her says. I have yet to confirm with my Bishop what she said she was told but it was not what I expected. I will let each of you pursue that in your search for the truth.<br /><br />God cannot look upon sin with any degree of allowance. We all must give up our sins no matter how small they are to enter His kingdom. There are no exceptions. And while we shouldn't overly worry ourselves with perfection in this life, (because being human we will all fall short of the glory of God, no exceptions there either.), our placement in the next world is contingent upon the choices we make in this world. The truth is important.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753591549042633617.post-71080891138526868742012-12-25T18:31:19.932-05:002012-12-25T18:31:19.932-05:00Awesome! Stimulation at its best. Great blogging a...Awesome! Stimulation at its best. Great blogging as usual! <a href="http://www.soberplanet.org/sober-recovery-coaching/" rel="nofollow">Sober Coach</a>Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17326018936430977365noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753591549042633617.post-64116453383272735972012-12-16T15:50:32.815-05:002012-12-16T15:50:32.815-05:00A very insightful post indeed with a lot of great ...A very insightful post indeed with a lot of great points. Thanks for taking the time to talk about this, I do hope to see another great article from you. I am great full to see this post. Always keep blogging. I really appreciate lots.This post is such a useful and it works according to the needs of people.<a href="http://www.redrocketpills.com/female-stimulation/" rel="nofollow">Female Stimulation</a>Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08927940848878077093noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753591549042633617.post-77276212432926707772012-10-06T10:58:32.752-05:002012-10-06T10:58:32.752-05:00 ! J.Smith cometio ADULTERIO.Tambien se casó con m... ! J.Smith cometio ADULTERIO.Tambien se casó con mujeres que estaban casadas con otros hombres.¿ESTO ES LA IGLESIA RESTAURADA?!J.Smith !falso profeta!( Apoc.19:20) ¿donde reciben la marca los que son engañados por el FALSO profeta?(Hechos 7:48)(Apoc.21:22) ! Averiguen! Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753591549042633617.post-55045220167929304182012-10-06T01:43:25.987-05:002012-10-06T01:43:25.987-05:00President, I come to you for understanding and rea...President, I come to you for understanding and reassurance. <a href="http://www.independent.ie/national-news/mormon-church-hit-by-30pc-cash-slump-3249423.html" rel="nofollow">This alarming article</a> has just come to my attention. <br /><br />According to the opening sentence, "The Irish Mormon Church has blamed increased unemployment and emigration for a drop of almost 30pc in donations by its members last year." To the natural man, these are perhaps believable explanations. However, those with a testimony of the Restored Gospel will ask, as I do, why the Lord has permitted this tribulation to come upon his True Church at this time.<br /><br />President, is it Masturbation? Are there in Ireland other, less diligent, stake presidents who have allowed this practice to flourish, with consequent loss of their stakes' claim on the blessings of Heaven? <br /><br />Perhaps President Paternoster is not free to speak openly about this matter. However, it seems all too likely that this most common of sexual sins is at the root of the problem. Nothing loses blessings faster than "these things" (Alma 39:3), and none of "these things" is commoner than masturbation. <br /><br />When we take into account the arrival of this media report mere days after the President's inspired warning, I am afraid the picture becomes rather clear.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753591549042633617.post-279986142412425322012-10-04T23:48:41.972-05:002012-10-04T23:48:41.972-05:00I am feeling maybe a little left out here. My mas...I am feeling maybe a little left out here. My masturbation has not led me into group sex, full homosexuality or even sex with animals. Rather just to more fun with my wife. Am I missing something?Moronihanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753591549042633617.post-23584362572363456832012-10-04T22:07:59.173-05:002012-10-04T22:07:59.173-05:00When the church brings back it's righteous doc...When the church brings back it's righteous doctrine of polygymy and polyandry, than this horrid and disturbing sin of self intimacy will no longer be a curse upon the purest of saint. Hallelujah!Little Lovableshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02372045299073262480noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753591549042633617.post-71273617743351599922012-10-03T08:23:05.541-05:002012-10-03T08:23:05.541-05:00Dearest President Paternoster,
You are truly an in...Dearest President Paternoster,<br />You are truly an inspired spokesperson for god, yea, even a wise, righteous man. May all of your readers derive as much pleasure from reading your blog as I do. I feel the spirit, yea, with an intensity like unto .....um...anyway. <br />Yours in Christ, amen<br />Sister OlsenAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753591549042633617.post-77374516854175650872012-10-02T15:49:23.069-05:002012-10-02T15:49:23.069-05:00Dear President,
I feel so much pleasure when I rea...Dear President,<br />I feel so much pleasure when I read your inspired words. Of course people want to believe the words of scientists when they clothe them in such crafty and scintillating language..."endorphins," "pelvic floor contractions," etc. It's all very alluring and tempting to imagine, "basking in this warm glow" while lying alone in bed at night with my chaste nightgown pulled up above my waist. (Even though I am single I am proud to say I dress in anticipation of the day when I will be able to attend the temple with a righteous priesthood holder. I know he will be so gratified when I wear the sacred garment night and day, under the most modest clothing I can find.) <br /><br />Someday I dream of lifting the hem of my nightgown, removing the sacred undergarment and performing the procreative act with my righteous husband as quickly as possible before replacing this "shield and protection" in order to sleep the sleep of the righteous. Until then I will strive to keep my hands pure and undefiled no matter how many nights I lay tossing and turning, sleepless in my chaste nightgown and white (non-bikini) panties. THank you for your reassuring words. I will think of them tonight, I am sure.<br />ALSITOTCa lowly sister in the one true churchnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753591549042633617.post-41112991546130220602012-10-02T11:53:33.174-05:002012-10-02T11:53:33.174-05:00This is just great...and it is really inspiring. ...This is just great...and it is really inspiring. Boyd could reinforce other doctrinal gems taught in the past with this analogy. Instead of saying..."don't marry that dark person" he could say..."don't lick that chocolate cupcake....stick with vanilla or carrot cake". NM Nuttsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753591549042633617.post-81479247006473901022012-10-02T11:37:58.553-05:002012-10-02T11:37:58.553-05:00I 'spose if your not a virgin you could be a &...I 'spose if your not a virgin you could be a "mince meat" with raspberry icing.NM Nuttsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753591549042633617.post-29947528691025754142012-10-02T11:33:07.178-05:002012-10-02T11:33:07.178-05:00Yeah, I like that...cherrrry flavored cupcakes...Yeah, I like that...cherrrry flavored cupcakes...NM Nuttsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753591549042633617.post-37387697927347639112012-10-02T11:26:13.334-05:002012-10-02T11:26:13.334-05:00Nutts requests a metaphor for the girls. In his wi...Nutts requests a metaphor for the girls. In his wisdom, God has already provided the metaphor that he thinks is most fitting through his latter day prophets.<br /><br />"Cupcake" The girls have been told that sexual sin will make them undesirable in the same manner that no one wants a cupcake that someone else has licked. <br /><br />I am glad that no one else has ever licked my wife's cupcake. <br /><br />Monson the Youngernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753591549042633617.post-78056166132074323212012-10-02T11:18:23.583-05:002012-10-02T11:18:23.583-05:00Besides blindness and homosexuality, masturbation ...Besides blindness and homosexuality, masturbation is known to cause hairy knuckles. In my youth, I did succumb to the temptations of Satan. At about the same age, I did start to grow hair on my knuckles. Now I am left with this embarrassing curse. I only wish that God would remove the hair from my knuckles as I became righteous in the same manner that he caused by skin to become white and delightsom. mahonri kimballnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753591549042633617.post-83410885775151896712012-10-02T11:10:10.825-05:002012-10-02T11:10:10.825-05:00Maybe this forum could help Boyd K. Packer with hi...Maybe this forum could help Boyd K. Packer with his next talk. We all know that we're not supposed to play with our "little factories"...a concept designed for the young men in zion. But hey...what about the young women in zion?! Is there a good metaphor for the girls? The "bearded taco" or "camel toe" would seem a bit harsh for Boyd. The female anatomy is not quite like a little factory since the inventory is extremely limited and a bit messy. I call upon the collective geniuses who...I know will fast and pray about the "perfect metaphor" for his next pamplet.N.M. Nuttsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753591549042633617.post-86840034033002425142012-10-02T08:22:52.223-05:002012-10-02T08:22:52.223-05:00*** NOTE TO THE READER OF THIS BLOG ***
This is N...*** NOTE TO THE READER OF THIS BLOG ***<br /><br />This is NOT a website sanctioned by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. <br /><br />"President Paternoster" is not a stake president within the Church. <br /><br />Rather, the content of this site varies from farce to pointed criticism [which is, at times, painfully accurate].<br /><br />Many, but not necessarily all, of the posts are written in mockery of those who are sincerely striving, albeit imperfectly, to follow Jesus.<br /><br />Caveat utilitor.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753591549042633617.post-202397393870257122012-10-02T05:13:34.482-05:002012-10-02T05:13:34.482-05:00When I was a teenager in the 70's, middle-aged...When I was a teenager in the 70's, middle-aged Bishops, often descendent of pioneers would bring 13 year old girls into their office alone and ask if they masturbated. If they didn't know what that meant, some kind bishops would helpfully explain. If the girl admitted it, Bishops would help them with the repentance process by forcing them to explain in lurid detail HOW they masturbated. This loving and attentive treatment by bishops so traumantised the young girls that most did not repeat the sin. If only today's bishops could all be so attentive. I know that even though the LDS church still tells bishops to ask young girls these questions, some bishops refuse to because they mistakenly believe it to be a sickening form of sexual abuse, and they fear physical violence from decent fathers when they find out what has happened.Burt Nuhmnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753591549042633617.post-16241635161755384772012-10-02T04:56:53.838-05:002012-10-02T04:56:53.838-05:00*** NOTE TO THE READER OF THIS BLOG ***
This is a...*** NOTE TO THE READER OF THIS BLOG ***<br /><br />This is a website sanctioned by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. And President Paternoster" a stake president within the Church, sanctioned by Thomas S Monson and God himself.. The content of this site is steadfast in its pointed criticism of sin and the ways of the world. <br /><br />Many, but not necessarily all, of the posts are written in support of those who are sincerely striving, albeit imperfectly, to follow Jesus, even as we struggle with stains on our trousers.<br /><br />Caveat wankor.<br /><br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753591549042633617.post-22548327155927740792012-10-02T03:46:58.481-05:002012-10-02T03:46:58.481-05:00Shouldn't you also point out, President, that ...Shouldn't you also point out, President, that it can cause blindness? Funny, but I've noticed that some of the General Authorities are terribly near-sighted. I'm sure it can't have anything to do with that, however. J.R.Fortescue-Holmes, Lt Col (retired)noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753591549042633617.post-16067922535316748942012-10-01T23:13:42.490-05:002012-10-01T23:13:42.490-05:00President Kimball indeed taught the truth about ma...President Kimball indeed taught the truth about masturbation, about how it starts with just the individual, but before you know it, it moves on to same-sex group masturbation, then fornication, and then sex with animals.<br /><br />So many people in the church have fallen down this dark path. It's sad when people claim that they have never engaged in group masturbation or sex with animals. Masturbation, like all other such sins, clearly leads one to lie about such matters. Fortunately, we have a prophet of God who was willing to discuss these kinds of evil acts which he obviously saw all too often in that little town in which he grew up.<br /><br />Thank you, President, for keeping us in the straight and narrow pathway that leads to such joy when we enter into it and work very hard to achieve the joyous end result thereof. And then sleep.Goldarnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01002035439360220264noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753591549042633617.post-89412596463469456222012-10-01T21:19:52.808-05:002012-10-01T21:19:52.808-05:00Masturbation cannot, of course, be described as a ...Masturbation cannot, of course, be described as a heterosexual activity. With this in mind, we would do well to bear in mind President Kimball's inspired warning in <i>The Miracle of Forgiveness</i>:<br /><br /><i>...[masturbation] too often leads to grievous sin, even to that sin against nature, homosexuality. For, done in private, it evolves often into mutual masturbation--practiced with another person of the same sex and thence into total homosexuality.</i><br /><br />I imagine President Paternoster could confirm to us, as could many other righteous Priesthood leaders, that he has never counseled a homosexual who had remained pure from this practice.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753591549042633617.post-50072117518047757072012-10-01T13:35:30.262-05:002012-10-01T13:35:30.262-05:00El prest.Paternoster no tiene problemas con la &qu... El prest.Paternoster no tiene problemas con la "masturbación porque está casado y su esposa le complace en sus fantasias sexuales.J.Smith,no necesitaba auto-satisfacion porque tenia muchas esclavas-esposas(entre ellas mujeres casadas con otros hombres) que le satisfacian sus intintos carnales y sensuales.Todos ellos tienen apariencia de piedad pero son unos hipocritas,lobos rapaces con piel de ovejas;de los cuales el infierno les tiene reservado un lugar especial. La masturbacion no puede considerarse como la palabra de Sabiduria porque para eso deberia ser !oral! ¿Entendistes? Hermana Hewitt.Felices sueños.Smithnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753591549042633617.post-91836415281724436952012-10-01T13:21:49.667-05:002012-10-01T13:21:49.667-05:00I'm always reassured when I hear my loving pri...I'm always reassured when I hear my loving priesthood leaders remind me that guilt and shame are not something to be feared, but something to be utilized as a tool to get closer to our loving and empathetic Heavenly Father. When I hear people decry so-called depressive or anxiety disorders as often brought on by negative feelings associated with churches of high standards, I just want to shout at them that they are not depressive disorders per se; they are spiritual disorders. They are spiritual disorders brought on by the stiff-necked refusals to humbly accept the negative feelings we so profoundly deserve when we fall short of the rules and regulations our Father in Heaven put in place for our ultimate joy.Emma the Youngernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-753591549042633617.post-68754637786952778192012-10-01T12:05:57.407-05:002012-10-01T12:05:57.407-05:00You do a great job of putting these issues in thei...You do a great job of putting these issues in their proper perspective. Thank-you for taking the time each week to write these witty posts. It is hard not to smile at church and think of your posts when hearing the folderol you parody (I go to Sacrament meetings because it makes my wife happy when I am there). I used to just cringe.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com