Brothers and Sisters it was exactly one year ago today that I decided to start this blog. It was a small step for me, a Stake President, to come online and bring to the attention of the world the wonderful teachings of the Church from the perspective of a high profile Church
2011 was a fabulous year for the Church. The National Post called 2011, *"The year Mormonism went mainstream." Indeed tens of thousands have benefited from reading the humble teachings on this blog and have been given a glimpse into how inspired Church policies and guidelines help those of us called to preside over the saints in these the latter days. 2011 also saw newsworthy articles on LDS basketball players and politicians; there were faith promoting musicals and ad campaigns and the well known singer David Archuleta finally announced he was going to serve a full time mission for the Lord ending all doubts about his sexual orientation.
Since its inception this blog has received hits from all over the world including places such as Russia , France , Cuba , Nigeria and even countries as far off as America
Brother and Sister Holznagel from Hamburg are just one example of how my blog has helped families come unto Christ. They wrote saying that after years of counseling they were on the verge of signing the divorce papers when their Bishop felt impressed to tell them about my blog. When they read the post on oral abstinence (which has by far been the most popular article http://stakepresident.blogspot.com/2011/05/oral-abstinence-key-to-happy-fulfilling.html) it helped them to see how their once loving relationship had become unholy and impure. The counsel given on that post is reiterated in this months Ensign where we are once again told that **"Intimacy is not to be abused.....It is important not to solicit behavior that is offensive to your spouse." The Holznagel's confirmed they are closer than ever before and were delighted to report that they have qualified for temple recommends once again.
Never before have I had so many enemies, but as those who oppose me grow in number and influence the Church is seeing an increase in those who support my cause. As other Stake Presidents, General Authorities and members of The Twelve overcome their fears & trepidation and follow in my footsteps by coming online I stand ready to guide and counsel them. I have counseled those interested to always use approved church resources to back up their posts in order to show the world who we really are and why we are proud to be known as such a peculiar people.
May God bless all readers with the ability to understand the truths concerning the gospel of Jesus Christ and may 2012 be an even better year for the Church as we approach the Second Coming of our Lord and Saviour.
Lovingly shared by President Paternoster
May your light so shine unto every corner of the earth, henceforth and forever, amen and amen.
ReplyDeleteI'm so delighted to hear how many thousands of people have benefited from your blog, President Paternoster! Your blog is a wonderful source of faith-promoting quotes and information from our leaders. Since you ALWAYS use church-approved sources, we can rest assured that you are always guiding us on the right path.
ReplyDeleteAs to enemies, the Truth always has its enemies. Don’t mind them! I am merely one of a vast group who has appreciated and has been inspired by your wonderful blog throughout 2011.
I'm looking forward to yet more encouragement and inspiration from your blog in 2012. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, President Paternoster! I know that Heavenly Father guides you. You are a literal “godsend!”
WWN
My Dear President Paternoster, I've been following your sanctified and inspiring blog for almost the whole year and have read all of your wise words and I too have been inspired to make my own marriage more pure and holy. Thankyou for all you do. You truly are a beacon of light in a dark dark sweaty hole.
ReplyDeleteI was impressed by the article you posted about how married people behave, especially that the author chose to use quotes from Spencer W. Kimball in his closing remarks.
For decades now we've had the incredible insights of this great Prophet, Seer, and Revelator to guide us, to help us overcome our own grave sins, even sins greater than murder. In the spirit of self loathing and perpetual contrition I would flagellate myself for being a woman, for thinking all sorts of things or desiring equality but I know that in death I can be forgiven. Thank our Lord and Savior for men like Spencer W. Kimball.
He was such a great man. He said the following regarding sexual relations and the horrific sin of masturbation :
"Sexual relations in marriage are not unrestrained. Even though sex can be an important and satisfactory part of married life, we must remember that life is not designed just for sex. Even marriage does not make proper certain extremes in sexual indulgence. To the Ephesian saints Paul begged for propriety in marriage: "So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself." (Ephesians 5:28.) And the Lord's condemnation included secret sexual sins in marriage, when he said: "And those who are not pure, and have said they were pure, shall be destroyed, saith the Lord God."
ReplyDelete(D&C 132:52)"
"If it is unnatural, you just don't do it. That is all, and all the family life should be kept clean and worthy and on a very high plane. There are some people who have said that behind the bedroom doors anything goes. That is not true and the Lord would not condone it."
- Prophet Spencer W. Kimball, The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, p.311-12
"Married persons should understand that if in their marital relations they are guilty of unnatural, impure, or unholy practices, they should not enter the temple unless and until they repent and discontinue any such practices. Husbands and wives who are aware of these requirements can determine by themselves their standing before the Lord."
"All of this should be conveyed without having priesthood leaders focus upon intimate matters which are a part of husband and wife relationships. Skillful interviewing and counseling can occur without discussion of clinical details by placing firm responsibility on individual members of the Church to put their lives in order before exercising the privilege of entering a house of the Lord. The First Presidency has interpreted oral sex as constituting an unnatural, impure, or unholy practice. If a person is engaged in a practice which troubles him enough to ask about it, he should discontinue it."
- Official Declaration of the First Presidency of the Church, January 5th, 1982, http://www.lds-mormon.com/worthy_lett...
"Prophets anciently and today condemn masturbation. It induces feelings of guilt and shame. It is detrimental to spirituality. It indicates slavery to the flesh, not that mastery of it and the growth toward godhood which is the object of our mortal life. Our modern prophet has indicated that no young man should be called on a mission who is not free from this practice. What is more, it too often leads to grievous sin, even to that sin against nature, homosexuality. For, done in private, it evolves often into mutual masturbation-practiced with another person of the same sex and thence into total homosexuality...."
ReplyDelete-Prophet Spencer W. Kimball, "The Miracle of Forgiveness, Pages 77-79, 81-82.
"Among the most common sexual sins our young people commit are necking and petting. Not only do these improper relations often lead to fornication, [unwed] pregnancy, and abortions - all ugly sins - but in and of themselves they are pernicious evils, and it is often difficult for youth to distinguish where one ends and another begins. They awaken lust and stir evil thoughts and sex desires. They are but parts of the whole family of related sins and indiscretions. Almost like twins, 'petting' and fornication are alike."
-Prophet Spencer W. Kimball, The Miracle of Forgiveness, page 65 - popular book for Bishops to use when counseling members
"Immorality [petting, premarital sex, adultery, homosexuality and masturbation] brings generally a guilt deep and lasting. These guilt complexes are the stuff of which mental breakdowns come; they are the building blocks of suicide, the fabric of distorted personalities and the wounds that scar and decapitate individuals or families."
Thank you for setting the holy record straight, President! Many, even the very elect members of the one true church, do fall in err about our doctrines these days and need to hear it directly from official sources.
ReplyDeleteThe Blog of Paternoster will go forth boldly, nobly, and independent, till it has penetrated every haystack, visited every inactive, swept every conference, and sounded in every ear, till the purposes of God shall be accomplished, and the Great Jehovah shall say "We have done as thou hast commanded. This is our report."
I never really understood the value of having so much shame and self loathing for my body, my sexual urges, my own inappropriate desire for completion but reading the words of the Prophets helps me remember that I am a grevious sinner and should be punished. I think a light spanking should be applied, perhaps some pinching and maybe a little delayed gratification.
ReplyDeleteYou're a godsend, president. Literally. You have inspired me in ways that I could never have imagined.
ReplyDeleteMy own blog used be weighted down with bitterness and hurt but it's getting better. I'm realizing what it means to be grateful for what what I have and who I am. To forgive the offenses that the church has inflicted on me, let it all go and live happily as I was always meant to live.
Thank you, and keep on inspiring!
We need more than ever to grasp tightly to the iron rod -- and not let go.
ReplyDeleteIndeed, President, you remind me of Joseph Smith, whose birthday we all so recently celebrated in song and scripture and gift-giving. Joseph Smith, you might remember, has done more for Mankind than anyone save only Jesus Christ. I see you going in this same direction, and in a few short years you may be able to say the same. God bless and keep the dear President!
ReplyDelete(I not-so-secretly hope that there will be a Parable of the Ironing Board forthcoming. The ironing board is indeed a valuable tool in demonstrating faith and belief.)
President Paternoster,
ReplyDeleteWhile I love reading your blog and receive great joy from pondering upon the truths therein, even the eternal truths, after much prayer and a few minutes of fasting I feel I must point out an error to you.
You wrote, "we are proud to be known as such a peculiar people." Surely, President, you intended to write, "we are very satisfied to be known as such a peculiar people." Pride is the sin that brought down both the Greeks and Nephites, and I pray several times each day that it won't bring down the leaders in the church, even like unto yourself.
Keep up the good works! I am very ̶p̶r̶o̶u̶d̶ satisfied to be a member of the same church as you.
Brother Goldarn
Germans have long been overdue in being reminded of unholy stimulation. This story warmed my loins. I had a girlfriend who had escaped Eastern Germany years ago. While we were dating, she would "nibble" on my lower left earlobe. Normally this would not be an issue, but I had been born with a rare condition where I have highly sensitive nerve endings in my earlobes. When stroked for long periods of time, they will infact lactate. Anywho, my Bishop counseled me early on not to let others stimulate them. I had to tell this beautiful German girl this, but I am glad I did and the Lord blessed me abundantly.
ReplyDeleteHere is a gentle reminder for those of you with restless hands and a weak will -- unlike myself. When I bathe, I do not admire myself in a mirror. I never stay in the bath more than five or six minutes -- just long enough to bathe and dry and dress AND THEN I GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM into a room where I have some member of my family present. It works for me about 96% of the time.
ReplyDeleteThank you President for your prescient, perceptive, never parviscient, prevaricatious or presumptuous preaching!
ReplyDeleteYour words shine forth like the glowing rocks in a Jaredite submarine that never waver even when turned upside down in a violent storm and covered with donkey dung.
The wisdom of "...not to solicit behavior that is offensive to your spouse" was made manifest to me when I suggested an oatmeal massage from my wife and she responded by raising a large carbuncle on the back of my head by the forceful application of a triple combination.
The doctors say I should make a full recovery.
*** NOTE TO THE READER OF THIS BLOG **
ReplyDeleteTHIS IS NOT A WEBSITE SANCTIONED BY THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS. NOR IS “PRESIDENT PATERNOSTER” A STAKE PRESIDENT OF THE CHURCH. RATHER, THIS SITE IS FARCE, AND NOT GOOD FARCE, AT THAT.
MOST OF THE POSTS HERE ARE WRITTEN BY QUASI-APOSTATES WHO MOCK THOSE WHO ARE SINCERELY STRIVING, ALBEIT IMPERFECTLY, TO FOLLOW JESUS.
CAVEAT UTILITOR.
Oh trust me "Anonymous Caveat Utilitor", I am a faithful Mormon Through and Through. I go to church every Sunday. I am also a Chemical Exacerbation Administrator (see my profile, it says so), so I happen to understand big words like Caveat and Utilitator. Anyone with the brain of a Mustard Seed would know that this blog is for spiritual entertainment only. So Churn up your Loins and Chillax.
ReplyDeletePresident Paternoster,
ReplyDeleteThough I am a non-Mormon, a non-Theist, and a complete celibate, I am suddenly moved in a mysterious way to provide frank and honest testimony to the power of your ministry.
Indeed, upon reading your "oral abstinence" post I immediately felt a strange sense of empowerment overtake me, and consequently I fervently renewed my deeply felt commitment to adamantly continue avoiding oral sex during my period of celibacy, or at least until I get lucky with my friend Terry.
Please accept my profound gratitude for your timely help and encouragement.
BlackJewishMormon, may I say how pleased I was by what I found when I clicked through to your profile. In your devotion to the Restored Gospel, neither great worldly learning nor less favorable post-pre-existence birth placement has stood in your way. A man of your background surely grew up with a deep understanding of persecution, yet for the sake of truth you humbly yet boldly became a member of the most persecuted minority of all, even the Latter-Day Saints.
ReplyDeleteElder Dallin Oaks has referred to ...the ever-growing, relentless attack on the Christian religion by forces who reject the existence or authority of God. As a minority even within oppressed and beleaguered Christianity, Mormons have been singled out for what Elder Oaks aptly describes as incidents of "violence and intimidation"....[i]n their effect they are like the well-known and widely condemned voter-intimidation of blacks in the South that produced corrective federal civil-rights legislation. Needless to say, any such corrective legislation for the protection of the Latter-Day Saints would be opposed by the massive political power of the atheists and homosexuals who dominate the US Congress.
In light of these facts, I am sure you will have many opportunities to share unique insights, promoting a proper appreciation of anti-Mormonism as a force as potent as anti-Semitism or racial discrimination.
Somehow I stumbled upon, or was directed by the holy spirit of google to this site while performing due diligence on my upcoming YW lesson. As an active (+/-) Mormon who loves satire, I would be remiss if I did not take this opportunity to express my sincere gratitude to The President for presenting the doctrines as they have previously been revealed in the earlier days of enlightened church leadership.
ReplyDeleteI feel uplifted and warmed, alert and attentive, as I sip my latte, and, although I am dressed for a shower, I find myself bathing in your wisdom.
Thank you ANONYMOUS. I am just an average man, born of parents. I am fervently and reverently thrusting my sickle upwards towards heaven. I invite all unto this blog to likewise thrust their sickles with their might.
ReplyDeletePresident Paternoster, your articles have been wonderful and faith inspiring. You will be happy to know that whenever I have non-Mormon friends who express an interest in the church, or who have heard some anti-Mormon propaganda that they have questions about, I nearly always refer them to your humble blog.
ReplyDeleteI have to confess though, there are a lot of specific questions I get that you haven't gotten around to answering. Have you ever considered doing a piece where you let us, your fans, submit questions that you then answer with your amazing gifts of the spirit?
I am filled with something I cannot explain.
ReplyDeleteI must say in reading the comments of BlackJewishMormon I am moved by the spirit in many ways. First I want to know if he is single and is he is would he possibly want to meet worthy single gal of California? My patriarchal blessing speaks of if I "pray hard and look towards heaven I will be blessed with many things".
ReplyDeleteI would really like to study scriptures with him as well as him delighting me with his version of the "Thrust in their sickles" great parable. I have been waiting for a long time, in worthiness, for a moment like this.
With much fasting and many hours on my knees, Amen
I have just finished re-reading the 1993 Ensign article The Language of Prayer, and it has given me an idea I would like to share. The article points out that we use titles such as President as a sign of the respect due to leaders in the Church and the larger society. In prayer, a special language is used as an additional means to convey respect, and to produce an atmosphere of reverence:
ReplyDeleteWe use special words that have been sanctified by use in inspired communications, words that have been recommended to us and modeled for us by those we sustain as prophets and inspired teachers...In our day the English words thee, thou, thy, and thine are suitable for the language of prayer....Being unused in everyday communications, they are now available as a distinctive form of address in English, appropriate to symbolize respect, closeness, and reverence for the one being addressed..
On this blog anniversary, I would like to propose that we American readers can show our respect to President Paternoster and increase the reverence of our discussions here by employing The Language of Stake Presidency. As the President is a native of the British Isles, the proper course is to adopt the most distinctively British forms of expression possible. As with the language of prayer, the extra effort required will bring forth the blessing of reverence.
For the benefit of fellow Americans (or Yanks) new to this more dignified mode of expression, I offer the following introductory guidelines:
1. Words ending in -or and -ize should be spelt with -our and -ise (for example, honour code, proselytise). Also, the word "spelt" should be used in giving spelling advice.
2. Tithing is forked out to the Church, never forked over.
3. At tithing settlement, decimalisation is the enemy of reverence. It requires a little time to master the older terms, but it is not really very difficult. In fact, we are more than halfway there if we simply remember: twenty-one crowns make five guineas, and 96 farthings a florin.
4. Be aware of the falsehoods of anti-Britons, who accuse the Queen of descent from the foreign "House of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha", based on a few written references from past centuries that were undoubtedly transcription errors. The royal house of the United Kingdom is the House of Windsor, and it is impossible for anyone to be more English than Her Majesty the Queen.
5. An especially common pitfall for Americans may arise in the context of transporting food to Church potlucks. When discussing food coverings, please take care to avoid crass errors that detract from the Spirit.
I believe that any American Latter-Day Saint who understands the principles taught in the Ensign article will recognise their applicability here. I challenge American readers to follow what is for all intents and purposes prophetic counsel, and take up the task of learning the Language of Stake Presidency.
Blessed be you, President Paternoster. You reveal deep things to us on this blog. You give wisdom to the wise and knowledge to them that know understanding. This blog is like a great mountain on the information superhighway, nay, a volcano that will erupt and fill the whole earth with the burning lava of the true gospel.
ReplyDeleteBless you. Your blog is a great asset to this church and shall stand forever.
Response to Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteWith careful regard, I invoke the spirit to guide me in my response to Anonymous Gal from California.
Several Points I am prompted towards:
1. As a "Gal from California" I think the Lord would rather you stay in your own land and help build up the Kingdom of Zion there. There are already plenty of us here in Utah.
2. I live in the Valley of Lemuel, Utah, where the honey is sweet and the nuts are plenty. The culture shock you would experience would be more than you could bear.
3. You said, and I quote: “I would really like to study scriptures with him”. What is your definition of “Study”? The spirit prompts me to believe your definition is less than holy.
4. In the Valley of Lemuel, we are a busy bunch thrusting our sickles on a daily basis. It is hard work. Finding the right soil in which to plow your sickle into is not an easy task. Some soil has a little more manure than others, while others have a high level of contaminates and often they will bear fruit that is deformed, undesirable and simply unsuitable for market. Some soil, if not thoroughly inspected prior to thrusting, can in fact damage or break your sickle. Are you ready for that type of scrutiny? You remember when Nephi broke his bow? Do you remember the angered reaction of his family and the sorrow and shame that Nephi felt? DO YOU??? Well those feelings are tenfold when one breaks his sickle!!
May the lord direct you in your affairs,
Brother BlackJewishMormon
Dearest Brother BlackJewishMormon,
ReplyDeleteFrom The "Worthy" Gal from Ca,
I have to say that I am moved within my bosom and loins from your inspired reply.
I realize it must be very hard to have the power of the priesthood in your hands. What a great responsibility not to take that hard job for granted. I must say you are very blessed that you have that great power given to you by God.
1. It is so difficult for Ca members not to come quickly and move to Utah. I have been blessed to visit your great Salt Lake From time to time. I just needed to be reminded that I am needed and wanted here.
2. I would for sure be in for a culture shock if I moved there. I have several siblings that reside there. They are truly blessed.
3. My intention to study scripture with you, I can assure you, was indeed holy. I have been with only a handful of men of which the act in which we partook of was very satisfying and fulfilling for both of us. On occasion we would even come to the same conclusion at the same time regarding a scriptural passage. I have also studied with two men at once which I found myself completely exhausted upon completion. I have sorrow within, that you choose not to join me.
4. Many men here in Ca do indeed thrust their sickles into manure quite often. That I must say has been very discouraging for me especially for a single gal. I know I just need to have faith and spend more time on my knees in humility.
I am grateful for your inspired response and only hope one day I can spread my faith to others as you have. I will look to your future comments to the great President Paternoster's blog with great anticipation and desire.
My you also be blessed in your affairs that bring you great joy,
Sister, Ca Gal
P.S. Do you know of any worthy brethren in Northern Ca that might be interested?