Friday, November 6, 2015

Church Lovingly Bars Certain Children from Membership

News release from the Irish public relations coordinator:

In an unprecedented Christlike move to establish order in the Lord’s Kingdom the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has barred children of same sex parents from membership in the one true church until the age of 18 – and only then if the child disavows the practice of same-sex cohabitation or marriage, and stops living within the household.

The reception of this announcement has been nothing short of miraculous for the faithful here in Ireland.

We interviewed 16 year old Barry Mcguigan of Ballybucklebo who has just had his baptism (which was scheduled for tomorrow) canceled.  Barry attends church weekly and lives part time with his mother while spending the rest of his time at his homosexual father and step father’s house.  Barry said “I know that the church is true and that this is an inspired policy from a loving and forgiving father in heaven.  I can’t wait until my 18th birthday when I will gladly follow the counsel of church leaders to disavow my father’s evil and pernicious way of life in order to join the Mormon church.”

Barry’s half-sibling Shannon (who does not have a homosexual parent and is a baptized member) is also very excited at this new development. “While I have been freely supporting gay marriage on social media since March when church apostle D. Todd Christofferson said that Mormons who support gay marriage are not in danger of losing their temple privileges or church memberships, I think that it’s totally fair that Barry is required to completely disavow the practice,” said Shannon.  “I will be watching his Facebook posts very carefully after his baptism to ensure that unlike me he does not show any support for his father’s choices.”

We would like to remind Irish church leaders that babies and children of same sex parents absolutely must not receive the naming and blessing ordinance as this honour is reserved only for those who qualify.

Let us all be reminded of the Saviours admonition in Matthew 19 to "Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

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