Friday, February 8, 2013

President Paternoster Doesn't Win 2012’s Best Mormon Blog Award

Receiving the news that President Paternoster did not win the 2012 Brodie Award for the ‘Best faithful-perspective Mormon Blog’ has left me, Sister Paternoster, heartbroken and despondent. 

What’s even more demoralizing is the sad fact that he wasn’t even nominated for this prestigious annual award.  Instead the award went to Feminist Mormon HousewivesThis is a disgraceful name for a supposedly faithful blog.  Mormon women need not be caught up in the feminist movement. Elaine Dalton, General President of the Young Women's organization has recently confirmed what President Paternoster has been teaching us sisters for years -  that Mormon women have absolutely no need to lobby for rights. The President also taught that feminists are completely unnecessary within the Lord’s Kingdom and that what the Church needs are more women who are obedient to inspired priesthood authority.  I have always done my best to rise up to this counsel.  

In addition to not winning the above award the President also did not receive an award for the best exit story.  This is surprising given his speedy exit from the chapel and car race home to read a letter that had just arrived from the First Presidency (http://stakepresident.blogspot.ca/2012/01/president-paternoster-gets-letter-from.html).  In all his years of glorious service to the Lord, he has never gotten home so fast!  And yet the award went to Sister Stephenson who admits to having a perfect life within the Church before succumbing to the misery that accompanies those whom Satan overcomes. http://www.salon.com/2012/06/01/but_im_a_good_mormon_wife/singleton/

As a final blow the organizers of these awards obviously overlooked a technical glitch in their system and for the second year in a row awarded the late president with the Best Humor/Satire Site or Blog. (See all blog awards here: http://latterdaymainstreet.com/2013/02/06/congratulations-2012-brodie-winners/).

There is nothing humorous or satirical about a humble Stake President relaying his spiritual experiences online as a testimony against the wicked.  I am horrified that such a terrible error would occur not once, but twice.  I take comfort in knowing that all these wrongs will be made right in the world to come.  In the mean time the organizers of the Brodie Awards better have a good lawyer.  

Sunday, December 16, 2012

The Passing of President Paternoster


It is with the deepest regret that I, Sister Paternoster, announce the sudden and unexpected passing of President William Lilburn Godfrey Paternoster.  

He suffered a major heart attack today while sitting on the stand at Church waiting for sacrament meeting to start.   We were visiting the local YSA branch when a small group of sisters entered the room.  As Bill turned to them his smile quickly faded into a look of horror and he started to clutch his chest.   I rushed to his side while the Branch President called an ambulance.  Bill was pronounced dead upon arrival at the hospital. 

He will be sorely missed by family, friends, the faithful members of his Stake and readers of this blog.  

The sisters in question feel awful for rebelling against the Brethren.  They have promised to never again wear pants to Church.  









Saturday, November 24, 2012

December 2012 Ensign Highlights

In order to assist readers as they prepare for this season of joy and peace I would ask that they prayerfully consider the words of the Lord as given in the Christmas/December 2012 edition of the Ensign.
May we ever keep in mind that “Church magazines are an important segment of the authoritative voice of the Church through which prophetic counsel from the Lord is made available to all of our Father’s children of all ages on matters pertinent in today’s world.” http://www.lds.org/ensign/2012/12/members-invited-to-share-the-gospel-through-magazine-subscriptions?lang=eng
I testify that solutions to the world’s greatest problems will be found as individuals and governments heed the words of the Ensign.
Below I will quote a couple of the wonderful and faith promoting highlights from the December edition:
“If paying tithing means that you can’t pay for water or electricity, pay tithing. If paying tithing means that you can’t pay your rent, pay tithing. Even if paying tithing means that you don’t have enough money to feed your family, pay tithing."  http://www.lds.org/ensign/2012/12/sacred-transformations?lang=eng
This is a wonderful message that the world needs to hear.  Why anyone would choose to feed their family and pay for water when they could be giving these sacred funds to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is completely beyond me.
Here is another very touching story……
“My wife, Lesa, and I became acquainted with a young woman soon after she came to church to attend an English class taught by the missionaries. She was outgoing, vibrant, and in control of her life, which included a good job, a longtime boyfriend, and her family….When the missionaries began teaching her the commandments, she knew she must obey.”
From the article we learn that her parents seemed worried.  Perhaps they thought she was getting involved in a cult, but she faithfully assured them this was not the case, and stopped talking to them. 
We learn that with the spirit of obedience “She broke up with her boyfriend and quit her job, which required that she work Sundays. She began observing the Word of Wisdom and accepted the law of tithing…..Within a few weeks of accepting the commandments, she found herself without a job, an apartment, or family support.”
Later when they met her while going for a walk she gleefully exclaimed “I am on my way to my new job working the graveyard shift at the drive-up window of a fast-food restaurant.”
I always encourage members to work at fast food restaurants rather than being tempted to accept careers which require them to work on Sundays.  When Doctor Murphy joined the Church he faithfully gave up his career as a heart surgeon so he could attend his Sabbath day meetings. 
The article explains that “This job represented a significant drop in pay, responsibility, and hours from her previous job. Despite significant trials and setbacks in the temporal affairs of her life, happiness exuded from her.  She then announced that her baptismal date had been set.” http://www.lds.org/ensign/2012/12/the-safety-and-peace-of-keeping-the-commandments?lang=eng
What a beautiful example of righteousness. If all investigators could show such obedience and dedication to the one true Church of Christ the world would be a much better place. 
Lovingly shared by President Paternoster

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Mormon Woman Ordained a Deacon

I received the following letter from Melanie Ladouceur of Paris, France this week and felt it deserved a response.  I will translate her letter and my response into English for your benefit. 

Dear President Paternoster,

I cannot for the life of me understand why it is that we the sisters of the latter days cannot serve as deacons in the church.  If the church today is literally a restored version of the early (New Testament) church, as we claim, why can women not serve as deacons? 

In Romans 16:1 we learn of the earliest Mormons (and I refer to them as Mormons because they are of the same church/religion as us) and are specifically told that Phebe, a woman, served as a deacon. 

Having served in a French speaking mission you would already be familiar with this verse President, but I will quote it anyway: “Je vous recommande Phoebé, notre soeur, qui est diaconesse de l'Église de Cenchrées….”  (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romains+16&version=LSG)
President, as you are likely aware the word "diaconesse" is the feminine version of the English word deacon.  It would be like saying deaconess in English (just as you use the word prophetess to describe a female prophet in your version of the Bible). 

This word “diaconesse” comes from a literal translation of the Greek word Diakonos, meaning deacon.  I know in some languages they have interpreted the word Diakonos to mean servant (such as in the English King James version of the Bible).  However in the New International Version (in English) it is translated as deacon, which is more accurate than servant.  (http://www.biblica.com/bibles/chapter/?verse=Romans+16&version=niv)

Either way my point is clear.  There was a woman named Phebe who served as a deacon in the original church. 

And this being the case why can I not hold the Aaronic priesthood and serve as a deacon in the modern church, which church is simply a restoration of the original one?  It seems to me that the restored church has made an error, and I am very surprised that the Lord in his weekly temple visits with the prophet hasn’t corrected this.

Please let me know your thoughts on the matter,

Melanie Ladouceur


Below is my response

Dear Sister Ladouceur,

Thank you for bringing up this important point.  The main thing to keep in mind is even though the Greek word may well have been Diakonos the interpretation as servant must have been accurate because if it wasn’t Joseph Smith would have pointed this out as part of his inspiring project to correct the many errors in the Bible. 

Keep in mind that with regards to the qualifications required of a deacon we also read in the New Testament (in 1 Timothy 3:12) as follows: “Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.”

As the only true Church upon the face of the earth we closely follow the words of the living scriptures by only ordaining 12 year old unmarried boys as deacons and having them advance to the office of teacher just two short years later. 

Please continue to find the sweet joy and peace that can only come from following your priesthood leaders and doing what they say.

With loving concern,

President Paternoster

Sunday, November 4, 2012

President Paternoster Speaks to the Sister Missionaries

Last week I was visiting Utah to meet with and provide direction to the public relations department of the Church in preparation for the possibility of Mitt Romney becoming President of the United States and the influx of new members this will cause.  I was absolutely delighted when Elder Nelson explained that an opening had come up and that he would be honoured if I were to address the sisters at the MTC. 
Below is an excerpt of my address (for the full address I understand that some of the sisters may be uploading my talk to YouTube):
Thank you Elder Nelson for that long and wonderful introduction.  Surely the spirit of the Lord is pleased when at such events we highlight each other’s academic and business achievements.  While the early apostles were nothing but fishermen and young Joseph was a poor farmer we the modern day leaders of the Lord’s kingdom, yea, we who will be present to usher in the millennial reign of our Lord and Saviour, rarely miss an opportunity to let the members know just how highly educated, successful and humble we are.  This is most pleasing unto our father in heaven.
Elder Nelson I am glad that you and the rest of The Twelve have also noticed the strong correlation between my blog posts and Church attendance.  I trust in the Lord that this trend will continue. While those who oppose this work may gain small victories (such as getting me banned from Facebook) my blog is still alive and well and is influencing many to come unto Christ and be saved. 
My dear sister missionaries, it is wonderful to be amongst you today.    
My thoughts and counsel today will be based on a wonderful article found at lds.org that was specifically written for you.  http://www.lds.org/new-era/1972/10/a-letter-to-girls-about-lady-missionaries
As I look upon you today I feel impressed to discuss the important and delicate issue of physical appearance.  As representatives of the Lord you must always look your best, for the Holy Ghost works at its greatest strength through a person who is in all things pure and clean. 
As you work alongside the elders please carefully consider their feelings.  The article brings up an important issue that should concern you each and every day of your mission.  It points out that “Elders’ most frequent complaints are about sisters’ hair .“  Please follow the counsel to “Have a neat and easy style—not too short or it will look like the elders’, and long enough so that it can be curled on Sundays.”
Be sure to “Sleep on a satin pillowcase” to preserve not only your hair style but also your divine femininity.
In my Stake I labour constantly to get the sisters to wear make-up when they are out in public.  The article on lds.org confirms this requirement for sister missionaries.  I have observed that some in this very room could use a little more.  Please seek out and follow the counsel of your wise and loving district leader in this matter. 
Remember always that as sisters you have pledged to “honor and support the priesthood authority over you (even though this authority be administered by an elder who is younger and less experienced). This is an important lesson to learn, for the line of authority is an eternal principle of the gospel and of the home.”
Sisters, always make sure that you are on a diet.  No elder wants to have to work with sisters who are overweight.  The article counsels that sisters should exercise and warns that at dinner appointments they should “take small helpings, no seconds, and cut down the next day”. 
A word of caution is given to, “Never, never eat late at night! When you come home late after a discussion and you have not had time for dinner, eat a little salad or fruit and then go straight to bed and think how much skinnier you will be by not eating a large meal until morning.”
The article confirms what I have been saying to Sister Paternoster for years in our weekly Personal Priesthood Interviews that, “If you are one pound overweight, it is too much. Take it off”
One suggestion that I hope you will all implement in your various missions is that of having a “BNTE Week (Be Nice to Elders Week) where you either cook something good or do something nice for the elders in your district. If you do this, remember that this week especially you must work like a whirlwind so no one can say that you borrowed the Lord’s time. Make it a top week in service and in work also.”
Something that sisters often forget is that rather than going shopping they should “Always participate with the elders on preparation day. If it is something you cannot do (for example if the elders are playing soccer or cricket), then at least be there to watch or cheer. This does wonders for mutual respect between elders and sisters.” Honestly I can’t think of a better activity for Sisters on P-day than watching and cheering the elders on as they play sports.  You may consider going the extra mile by supplying the food and cleaning up after them too. 
Now as a word of warning; As Brethren we understand that Sisters often like to get worked up and depressed about things.  When you get depressed, as I’m sure you will, set aside a little time that day to do something that raises your spirits. The article gives a great suggestion of “spending extra time on your hair and then praying earnestly for help from the Lord.”  
Sisters I know that as you do these things, you will find emerging within yourself a strength that will help you bear up under many hardships. You will gain an insight into the gospel that will bring peace to your heart.  And as the article confirms “you will have an aura of femininity and a serenity about you that no time spent before the mirror could ever produce”.  All this because you will be acquiring qualities that will help you to fulfill your mission in this life as well as in the eternities.
May the Lord bless you as you embark on your missions, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Monday, October 29, 2012

Can the Prophet Lead us Astray? A Stake President responds

While Jesus warned of false prophets in the last days one thing that has helped strengthen my testimony of the restored gospel is that those who have stood as Presidents of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have always assured us that they will never lead us astray.
The scriptures warn that “cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh” which is why I only put my trust in the prophet.  
The scriptures record the words of President Wilford Woodruff who said “The Lord will never permit me or any other man who stands as President of this Church to lead you astray.” https://www.lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/od/1?lang=eng
Those who oppose the Church know that if they can successfully show that a Church President has indeed led the people astray then we, his followers, would have to conclude either that the Lord is a liar or even more preposterous still - that the leaders of His Church aren’t really speaking on His behalf. 
One who attempts to confuse members in such a manner is a young man named David Twede. 
If there is one thing I, as a Stake President, cannot understand it is when disaffected members feel the need to write blogs in condemnation of the Lord’s Church and its chosen and anointed leaders. 
Twede not only has his own blog but is also involved in the website www.MormonThink.com which is a site dedicated to exposing historical facts about the Church that are not in harmony with the restored gospel.  
Twede not only dares to suggest that the Lord has gone against His own promise in permitting those who stand as president’s of the Church to lead members astray, but he provides what on the surface, to the untrained eye, looks like good evidence. 
His blog post deals with the sensitive issue of the Lord not permitting those of the Negro race to hold the priesthood until 1978.  Twede quotes from a recent statement in the Mormon newsroom where it says, "It is not known precisely why, how, or when this restriction began in the Church but what is clear is that it ended decades ago...We condemn racism, including any and all past racism by individuals both inside and outside the Church." http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/race-church
Twede says, “This statement is very profound. It tacitly admits that the previous statement, that the Lord won’t allow a prophet to lead the members astray, is false.” http://mormonthinkblog2012.blogspot.com/2012/10/infallible-fail.html
As evidence he puts links to quotes from past prophets as given on MormonThink.com.  Twede wrongfully assumes that if the Church today condemns racist messages from past Church President’s, then this must mean that past Church President’s led the people astray. 
I will correct Brother Twede in his assumptions but let’s first start with the following quote from our past beloved Church President Joseph Fielding Smith:
"Not only was Cain called upon to suffer, but because of his wickedness he became the father of an inferior race. A curse was placed upon him and that curse has been continued through his lineage and must do so while time endures. Millions of souls have come into this world cursed with a black skin and have been denied the privilege of Priesthood and the fullness of the blessings of the Gospel. These are the descendants of Cain. Moreover, they have been made to feel their inferiority and have been separated from the rest of mankind from the beginning.... we will also hope that blessings may eventually be given to our negro brethren, for they are our brethren-children of God-not withstanding their black covering emblematical of eternal darkness.”  The Way to Perfection, pages 101-102.
Here is another quote from Smith:
"There is a reason why one man is born black and with other disadvantages, while another is born white with great advantages. The reason is that we once had an estate before we came here, and were obedient, more or less, to the laws that were given us there. Those who were faithful in all things there received greater blessings here, and those who were not faithful received less." Doctrines of Salvation, volume 1, page 61.
The first question we must ask and that I, as a Stake President, will answer is ‘are official statements made by the Church Newsroom (and which in this case condemn past racism in the Church) actually official?’ 
In order to correctly answer this I will have to speak very frankly and openly with you.  While the Church has no official position on the matter, I happen to know that leaders desperately want Mitt Romney to become the president of The United States of America.  Since Romney is a member of the one true Church the people of America are naturally very interested in finding out exactly what he believes.  So when articles are written that portray our teachings in a negative light it is important for the public relations arm of the Church to quickly smooth things over. 
One must ask oneself whether the people of America would rather vote for someone who believes that black people are ‘children of God-not withstanding their black covering emblematical of eternal darkness’ or are they more likely to vote for someone who’s Church denounces  “any and all past racism by individuals in the Church?”  The answer is obvious.
And thus we see that as marketing specialists the job of the public relations folk is to make our religion seem more palatable to the outside observer.  I personally commend them on the fine job they are doing in this regard.
But let’s keep one thing in mind.  These statements on the Church Newsroom were not signed by the First Presidency nor did a Church leader get up in General Conference to read and endorse them.  No.  Because General Conference is for those who are already members while the Church Newsroom is for the general public.   And thus as faithful members we can be assured that our past leaders did not lead us astray. 
But let’s play devil’s advocate and just pretend for a minute that it was completely wrong of the 15 white men at the head of this Church to not allow blacks to hold the priesthood and that this was indeed racist, as the newsroom article suggests.  If this were the case then would Brother Twede be correct in stating that the prophet has, in the past, led us astray?  
Well let’s first define the true meaning of being led astray.  To lead someone astray means to guide a person down a path that will not result in their eternal salvation.  Would anyone’s eternal salvation have been at risk if blacks should have been allowed to hold the priesthood but were denied this right?  Of course not!  The black man that joined the Church through baptism and led a life of service to the Lord will not be denied eternal salvation by a loving father in heaven just because the prophet at the time mistakenly thought that their skin colour was ‘emblematical of eternal darkness’.  Nor would the white man’s salvation be jeopardized by this policy.  All are equal in the sight of the Lord.
And thus we see that past presidents and prophets of the Church have not led and will never be permitted to lead astray those of us who follow him.  On the contrary it is people like Brother Twede who seek to lead people astray.  We must keep one thing in mind, and it is that Twede is an apostate.  Not many know this so I will just tell you straight out that he was on the verge of being excommunicated from the Church by loving priesthood leaders for his involvement in Mormonthink.com.
Rather than humbly and bravely facing the consequences of his actions like a man Brother Twede ran off to an ex-Mormon conference and amongst cheers and applauds sent an email to Church headquarters asking for his name to be removed from the records of the Church.  This received certain media attention: http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/55128570-78/church-lds-twede-mormon.html.csp
Such actions show that Twede was and is under the influence of Satan and therefore any evidence he produces to show that Church President’s have led us astray cannot be trusted and must be ignored.
Brothers and Sisters as a Stake President I can assure you that the President of the Church will never lead us astray.  We can follow him with full purpose of heart knowing that even if in years to come his policies are deemed discriminatory by the public relations arm of the Church, we who have faithfully sustained and followed him will be eternally blessed. 
This is my assurance that I give unto you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen

Monday, October 22, 2012

Trying to be like Jesus - a Halloween Costume Guide

While the other 5 year olds were trick or treating around the neighbourhood dressed as sluts the Lord was pleased with little Sadie, of Arizona, because she had picked out a Halloween costume that covered her body. 
Her shining example was highlighted in an article entitled “Trying to Be Like Jesus” where Sadie reported that, “When it was time to pick out a Halloween costume, I told my mom that I would choose a costume that was modest. I found one that I really liked, and it covered my body. I know that Heavenly Father is happy when I choose the right.”

Avoiding the pitfalls that can occur as a result of Halloween is something that every latter day saint parent should prayerfully consider. 
The Ensign magazine warns that what can start out as a seemingly innocent and cute witches costume can, in later years, result in occult rather than temple wedding ceremonies.
The article speaks of how before joining the Church a family dressed their daughter up as a witch but afterwards, in order to not grieve the spirit, they chose more righteous costumes.  They did not want to "personalize evil by encouraging our children to identify with witches, even cute ones."
One way I help the neighbourhood children consider the feelings of Jesus when choosing their costumes is to put a sign on my lawn stating that only those dressed appropriately will receive candy.  I further specify that children dressed as witches and wizards and those dressed immodestly are welcome to come back when they have changed.  In this way I know that I am doing my part to promote the sacred standards of the restored gospel.
Those with teenagers need to be extra careful to ensure their children are discouraged from attending events where fortune telling and other satanic practices take place, even if such activities seem like harmless fun.  President Boyd K. Packer warned of such activities when he told young men and women "In a moment of curiosity or reckless bravado some teenagers have been tempted to toy with Satan worship. Don’t you ever do that! Don’t associate with those who do!"
James E. Faust warned that "The mischief of devil worship, sorcery, casting spells, witchcraft, voodooism, black magic, and all other forms of demonism should be avoided like the plague.”
With this prophetic warning in mind to avoid casting spells just as one would avoid the plague I have counseled and will take this opportunity to raise my voice again against the dangers of the infamous Harry Potter series.  Please discourage your children from dressing as characters of this popular book. 
Sister McCullough wrote to me reporting that she always goes to the shop a few weeks before Halloween to buy up all the Harry Potter costumes so that the children will be obliged to pick more appropriate clothing.  We can learn much from her example. 
As always there will be those who mock the counsel given by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on matters such as this.  Those who mock should take careful note of the following Ensign report of what happened to those who did not take this counsel to heart, "Friends of ours recently were shocked and saddened when they arrived at a garden wedding to find that it was an occult ceremony. Their beloved grandson’s experimentations with “the dark side to spiritual things” were no longer mere Halloween curiosities."
Consider yourselves warned.