Tuesday, June 14, 2011

President Paternoster Teaches a Linguist Professor

One thing I love about being so knowledgeable about the gospel is that one can speak intelligently about many areas of research in the world.  For example a non LDS linguist professor Damon and I were discussing the great variety of languages as we played golf the other day.  I explained to him that our ability as humans to use language so expressively is a distinguishing feature that belongs to no other living thing upon the earth and proves beyond doubt that man was made in a separate creation. Yes animals communicate but we are the only living things that could make known to another for example that “yesterday my grandmother crossed the road and almost got hit by a lorry”.

Damon asked me as a prominent Mormon what my view was on how all these languages came to be.  I could tell that he was very impressed by my knowledge on the subject, which as a man of faith likely outranks his own.

I told him the world’s 6,000 or so languages are the result of a long history which began with a single first language known in scripture as the pure tongue of Adam. This tongue was spoken in the Garden of Eden located in the United States of America*.

Adam and the early patriarchs had this perfect language which was both spoken and written**.

Damon admitted that even linguists are aware that written language dates back some 6,000 years. I told him that this coincides perfectly with the time of Adam’s appearance on the earth.

I went on to inform him that at the time of the tower of Babel the Lord confounded the languages of the people and scattered them to the four corners of the earth.  As human populations migrated to new places on the planet each groups version of the language changed in different ways, until there were several languages where there was once one. Eventually there were thousands.

I talked to him about the many clues available to scientists on the migration of people that are available from the linguistic evidence.  Damon asked me whether Mormons take the story of the tower of Babel literally.  I confirmed that we do. In Gen 11:1 we learn that the whole earth was of one language, and of one speech which is compatible with modern day revelation.  I further clarified that a group named the Jaredites were guided by the Lord to the Americas as recorded in the Book of Mormon. I told him that if the tower of Babel story is just myth then so must be the Book of Mormon, which would be absolutely ridiculous.  I could tell that he was impressed at my confidence in the record of the scriptures.  

I mentioned further that in opposition to the Jaredites (who followed the Lord), among nonbelievers it appears that there was an intellectual retrogression, so that many peoples subsequently have been without the blessings of a highly cultured spoken and written language**.  I have always felt sorry for the poor people of the world who do not have languages as highly cultured as English.   

The spirit came upon me and I promised Damon in the name of the Lord that perfection in language and writing will return in the future with the full establishment of the kingdom of God on the earth**.  I further clarified that as a preparation for this event we are seeing what some call an extinction crisis among many of the world’s languages.  In fact it is estimated that 5,500 of the world’s 6,000 languages will no longer be spoken in the year 2100.

I gave Damon a copy of the Book of Mormon and am sure he will read it with great interest and anticipation after the great discussion we had.

I love the gospel Brothers and Sisters and look forward to the millennium where the pure undefiled tongue of Adam will be spoken once more.

Shared with the great love of your humble servant, even the Stake President, Bill Paternoster

For further edification please read the scriptures referenced in the above links


anonymous78 said...

Is globalization a forerunner to the millenium?

Unknown said...

Be sure to tell Damon that the Uto-Aztecan languages ought to be reclassified as belonging to the Semitic language family. I think he'd be impressed with the breadth of your linguistic knowledge.

Stake Pres. said...

I am of the opinion that this is the case anonymous78. In the millenium there will be one world government and we are already heading in that direction.

Daniel the conjugation of the Uto-Aztecan languages is strikingly similar to the Semitic language family and is, as I see it, very strong evidence for the authenticity of the Book of Mormon.
I will be sure to mention this to Damon when we next meet.

kolobian said...

Brother Anonymous78, it is clear to me that you have been blessed with the gift of discernment. I, too, have received personal revelation in the House of the Lord that the New World Order is being guided by him who will sit at the head of all tables, yea, even the savior Jesus Christ.

There is nothing to fear in globalization. We should not dismay that borders are dissolving and that power is being centralized into the hands of a few men. These men must surely be inspired by God.

Do the scriptures not teach us that Jesus will rule the world from Jerusalem? Surely we should hasten whatever wars will be necessary to establish a one world government in preparation for the 3rd coming of the Messiah!

One Lord, One Faith, One Baptism, One Government, One Language, and One Military. How great is our God!

Donny said...


It sounds like you the linguist you spoke with was not very cunning. Are you a cunning linguist - or would that question be better directed to Sis Paternoster ;)

Mr. Smith said...

LDS.org should link to your blog directly. Maybe something in the bottom right corner of the landing page.

In fact, if there's anyone out there with creative hacking skills, get LDS.org to redirect to this blog site as it contains more truth per word spoken than any other site out there.

Delbert F. Uckdorf said...

This blog post was so inspiring that I feel impressed to write the remainder of my comment in pure Adamic, which my patriarchal blessing promises I will have the ability to speak:

Raukeeyang shaumau shaumahyeem jah-oh-eh oliblish enish-go-on-dosh kae-e-vanrash floeese kli-flos-is-es hah-ko-kau-beam kolob curelom cumom amnor antion ezrom limnah onti senine senum seon shiblon shiblum shumonti senum ziff neum mohonri moreancumur shiz adam ondi ahman.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

anonymous78 said...

Aw thanks Kolobian! (I'm a sister btw). It took me awhile to realize taking away other's cultural identities via globalization was inspired by God, thus the reason I asked President Paternoster. There truly is only one way to return to him, and these folks better start learning the new language and giving up their evil customs and economies.

Anonymous said...

President, how wonderful it is to share with righteous linguists the miraculous accomplishments of Joseph Smith in this field!

As we know, any other uneducated, nearly illiterate, frontier boy would scarcely be able to communicate in his native English. Yet Joseph gave the world such splendors as the Book of Abraham and its byproduct(!), the Egyptian Alphabet and Grammar, with its lucid explanations of a language theretofore utterly unknown to man. [1] Contrast it with the work of the worldly so-called "Egyptologists", who even today put forth Egyptian "words" lacking vowels!

Again and again this unlettered rustic, as might be supposed, confounded the learned with his knowledge. How naturally he expressed himself in multitude of tongues! [2] How capably did he draw upon and synthesize from his vast store of knowledge to impart new insights! [3]

How is it that there arose such marvels from this simple if not hereditarily feeble-minded boy, this ignorant product of a backward society, raised amid the degenerate influence of backwoods rascals and money-diggers? Only divine power could bring about such a result.

The words of Joseph Smith:

[1] This character is from the first degree. It has an arbitrary sound or signification which is Beth; and also a compound sound which is Za and comprise one simple sentence for its signification. It is only increased or lessened in its signification by its connection with other characters. One connection with another character, gives it a compound signification, or enlarges the sentence. Two connections increases its signification still: Three increases it still: Four increases still and five still. This is as far as a sentence can be carried in the first degree. In its arbitrary sound it may have more sounds than one, but can not have more than five sounds. When it is compounded with others, it can only have one sound.

[2] Were I a Chaldean I would exclaim: Keed' nauh to-maroon lehoam elauhayaugh deyshemayaugh veh aur kau lau gnaubadoo, yabadoo ma-ar'guauoomen tehoat shemayaugh alah. (Thus shall we say unto them: The gods that have not made the heavens and the earth, they shall perish from the earth, and from under these heavens.)

An Egyptian: Su-e-eh-ni; (What other persons are these?) A Grecian: Diabolas basseleuei: (The Devil reigns.) A Frenchman: Messieurs sans Dieu, (Gentlemen without Go.) A Turk: Ain shems: (The fountain of light.) A german: sie sind unferstandig. (What consumate ignorance!) A Syrian: Zaubok. (Sacrifice!) A Spaniard: Il sabio muda conscio, il nescio ne. (A wise man reflects, a fool does not.) A Samaritian: Saunau! (O Stranger!) An Italian: O tempa! oh diffidanza! (O the times! O the diffidence!) A Hebrew: Ajtaij aol raicu (Thou God seest me.) A Dane: Hvnd tidende! (What tidings!) A Saxon: Hwaet riht! (What right!) A Swede: Hvad skilla: (What skill!) A Polander: Nav-yen-wheo bah poa na Jesus Christus: (Blessed be the name of Jesus Christ.) A Western Indian: She-mo-kah She-mo keh ough-nepgab. (The white man, O the white man, he very uncertain.) A Roman: Procul, o procul este profani! (Be off, be off ye profane!) But as I am I will only add: when the wicked rule the people mourn.

[3] We say from the Saxon, good; the Dane, god; the Latin, bonus; the Greek, kalos; the Hebrew, tob; and the Egyptian, mon. Hence, with the addition of more, or the contraction, mor, we have the word MORMON; which means, literally, more good.

Unknown said...

Wow, so that's where 'Mormon' comes from.

Truly Mormon must have been a great scholar to have known Egyptian, and a great prophet to have foreseen the appearance of the word 'more' in English, hundreds of years later.

anonymous78b said...

anonymous78 - I love your name... I to am an anonymous one.. born in '78 :) I like your comments!

anonymous78 said...

78 is not my birth year, thanks! :)

I have learned so much from President Paternoster, he is truly inspired to answer so many of my questions.

Charlie Anthon said...

President, the boldness of your testimony truly is inspiring.

I wonder, though, why you made no mention of reformed Egyptian. Surely this linguist would be highly interested in this ancient script, particularly if you showed him the "Caractors" document containing these reformed Egyptian symbols.

This presents irrefutable evidence of the ancient nature of the language that the Book of Mormon was translated from.

Anonymous said...

Wow, so that's where 'Mormon' comes from.

Indeed, Daniel, and this teaching continues to inspire today:


The More Good Foundation is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization that helps Mormons share their beliefs on the Internet

They state that they operate over[*] 300 websites, in a multitude of languages.

[*] Were they nineteenth-century Americans, they might say "morthan".

Brother Mobegone said...

President Paternoster,

What a great story, though I feel sad for this gentleman. He has spent his entire career and much of his life, in pursuit of answers which could have been given him in a matter of 5 minutes by one of the Lord's annointed!

I really don't understand how people live their lives without the light of the gospel. They waste so much time on things like linguistics, biological origins, world history, etc., when they could simply receive all the answers through modern day revelation, and devote themselves to pursuits that lift their fellow men. I would not have been able to become an attorney for Bank of America, and you would not have been able to go into consulting, had we wasted our time on things like "science" and "humanities". You and I help people to have things like access to great banks (from whence they can write their tithing checks!) and superior business/financial counseling, while people like this gentleman do little for society.

I hope he gets baptized; but I also hope he will see his errors, accept the words of modern day revelation, and redirect his career life to pursing things which help his fellow man.

Anonymous said...

Dear President,

I am a little confused after reading your blog and then some of the responses. As a girl, being raised in the Church, my family always said that the way the world was becoming smaller (e.g. globalization) was a very bad thing, something of Satan. Now you are suggesting that the movement toward one government, one people, one culture, and one language is God's plan. Does this mean that even Satan's influence is actually a part of His plan?

And another note, somewhat connected. I was also taught that when a LDS man became president it heralded the return of the Lord. Would it be fair to me to draw the conclusion that based on the globalization we are experiencing, and because our sweet Brother Romney is poised to clutch the presidency we can assume the 1000 years of peace is coming soon?

Chris S said...


Will animals be able to speak Adamic during the millenium? I know that all animals will become herbivores, but I wonder if they will inherit other spiritual gifts. This is just speculation, but if they have dilligently fulfilled the measure of their creation, might they not also progress closer toward some form of glory?

(Also, I am not one of those so-called naturalists who consider humans to be just another species of animal.)

Anonymous said...

What a stimulating discussion this is. Brother Mobegone, your points are well taken, and very true in general. However, there can be some value even in a science such as geology, which can so easily go astray, if it is kept within proper bounds. For example it is wholesomely applied in the field of Petroleum Engineering. Genetics, also perilous when used without discernment, has made great contributions to the dairy industry. Psychology is of value in the treatment of homosexuality. Food science, soil science, criminology, and computer science can all be profitably pursued. Surely there are other examples.

Anonymous @8:28pm: Satan would impose world government by force if permitted. This is indeed a very bad thing. However President Paternoster undoubtedly looks toward the Millenial reign of Christ, to be established when he returns in power and glory, destroying the wicked in the lake of fire.

Chris S, a fascinating question. We know from the tenth article of faith that the Earth will be restored to its paradisiacal glory, and from Genesis that the serpent conversed with Eve in Eden. Has it been revealed whether this was a false miracle of Satan or normal reptile behavior at that time and place?

kolobian said...

Sister Anonymous,

Although I'm constrained by the spirit of our Lord not to divulge sacred details of the Temple Endowment, I can say that I look forward to the day of your temple wedding when you will learn just how instrumental Lucifer is in helping our Heavenly Father fulfill his plan for all of his children. Great treasures of knowledge await you in the House of the Lord.

I must urge you to call your parents to repentence for teaching you to have doubts about the Lord's work in preparing the world for his Millenial reign. How, Sister Anonymous, will the Lord rule the world if there are artificial borders in the land and a confusion of languages? The New World Order is divinely inspired and propaganda to the contrary is the foolishness of men.

As faithful Latter-Day Saints we should support whatever legislation is presented (such as the PATRIOT ACT) that centralizes power and limits the ability of rogue citizens from disrupting the work of the Lord. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

A disciple said...


We love you and hope to see you ascend to the hallowed rank of General Authority some day soon.

Allow us to suggest, though, that you need a name make-over. You must insert your middle initial in your signature. A mere "President Bill Paternoster" will not get it done. We note all the saints of significance use a middle initial: Gordon B. Hinckley, Thomas S. Monson, Russell M. Nelson, Boyd K. Packer, etc.

Please, help us help you move up the ladder.

Cindy said...

I very much enjoyed you faith promoting post. I was at a cottage meeting where a presentation was done about the literacy of the BOM. Your post reminded me of that time. Thank-you for your informative and interesting information.

Brother Heber said...

A Disciple, I must disagree with your advice for President to climb the GA ladder. I tried this tact and I believe it has hindered my advancement in the church.
When I was justly called as Sunday School President at the age of 24 I felt that I was on the fast track to becoming an apostle.
I have felt that becoming an apostle was my purpose in life and it was thrilling to feel that I was on my way. I was truly and instrument in the Lord's hands as an Elders Quorum President. We had 100% home teaching during my entire tenure. That is just the start of what I accomplished as I was truly a spiritual giant in my ward.
As preparation for my inevitable call to the Bishopric, then to Bishop, Stake President, General Authority and finally as an Apostle of the Lord, I began insisting people used my middle initial. I felt it was only fitting since I was soon to become the youngest General Authority in the past 100 years.
Evidently this scared the powers that be in my ward and I was released without any just cause.
It is truly a case of the Lord's elect being punished by the great and spacious building that is our local leadership.
While I will not let this deter me from my ultimate calling, I feel the President Patornoster should learn from my mistakes and wait until the time is right to enforce the middle initial policy.
I hope I have helped in his cause of becoming a General Authority and I know that someday I will sit beside him, even at his right hand as an apostle of the Lord God.
Your fellow future General Authority
Brother Lucas R. Heber

Sis Daniels said...

I think of those early saints who learned to speak in the gift of tounges and were blessed to have the adamic words upon their lips. I look forward to the day when this language will be returned. Thank-you for your ever enlightening posts.

Spencer said...

These many languages seem so redundant. Why must we be punished repeatedly for the sin of the Babelites? I guess it's only Adam's sin we are not punished for.

I heard over the water cooler at O.C. Tanner the other day that the church will be sponsoring Adamic-as-a-Second-Language classes to assist in speeding up that damn Millenium.

Anonymous said...

I'm a bit confussed. I have read several of your posts, and to be sincere, I wonder if you really are a stake president.

I do not wish to offend you, but I read in a bit of sarcasm or irony.

Just so I know for sure that you are honest, will you bear your testimony in your blog? Please be honest.