Monday, July 18, 2011

Adultery - and the Stake Disciplinary Council

Since coming online as a stake president and reading the various Church related boards and blogs I have time and again seen what seems to be a complaint against the church for requesting unnecessary details when members confess sins.  One sister reported that as a youth she was on several occasions asked by her bishop whether she would touch herself in an inappropriate manner.  He would then go on to ask her what thoughts brought on such urges and how it made her feel during and after the event.  He would then counsel her in ways to keep better control of herself and would give her the necessary steps of repentance to be pure again.  She felt so unworthy, but he would always assure her that she was a very special daughter of our father in heaven and could still fully participate in all church activities including going to the temple to perform baptisms for the dead.

Section 6.3 of the Stake President and Bishops handbook states the following:
“Repentance requires that all sins be confessed to the Lord…….Members who voluntarily and completely confess transgressions demonstrate that they have begun the process of repentance.

A very important part of repenting is learning to not hold back when confessing.  All relevant details should be given.  I have always taught that the Lord freely forgives those who freely confess. 

As a stake president it is my solemn duty to keep confidential any confessions by members.  Since this blog is about the life of a stake president and since holding stake disciplinary councils is an important part of my duty I am going to talk about a recent court of love (as they are sometimes called) that we held for a former member of the stake high council. I will change certain details such as the names so that the offenders will not be recognizable.

I would warn that some of the content in this post is unsuitable for all audiences and would ask all those under the age of 21 to stop reading immediately. 

At the Thursday evening meeting after verifying that all 12 members of the high council were present we had a hymn and a prayer, dealt with the more urgent stake business and then went through the usual ritual of each high councilor picking a number from 1-12 as per D&C 102:12.  We then read together from section 102 to invite the spirit into the room.  I dismissed the stake executive secretary and gave a brief overview to the high council, my counselors and the stake clerk of the situation. Sixteen men in total were therefore in the room for this council. 

My executive secretary then brought in Benjamin, a sister whom I will name Tara and their bishop.  We all stood as they entered the room.

I welcomed the three and went through with them the purpose of a disciplinary council which is:
1. To save the souls of transgressors
2. To protect the innocent
3. To protect the good name of the Church

I expressed love and appreciation to Tara and Benjamin for their willingness to be here (often offenders don’t show up) and told them that we love them and only want to help them on their path through mortality back to the safety of the Lord.

I then informed them that before their arrival I had given a brief overview of the transgressions to the council and asked that Benjamin give an account in his own words.

Benjamin admitted that when he was still on the high council he had committed adultery with Tara who was a fellow ward member and a sister he had home taught.  I should note here that Tara had already been disfellowshipped by her Bishopric and was simply present as a witness along with the bishop who has been closely involved in the situation. Stake disciplinary councils are generally only held for Melchizedek priesthood holders who are likely to be excommunicated.  Aaronic priesthood holders and women can be excommunicated at the ward level.

The conversation according to the stake clerk’s notes then went as follows (I have edited the conversation to only include the relevant points):

President Paternoster: Tara would you mind telling us tell us how this relationship began?

Tara: I already confessed all of this at my own disciplinary council.  Should I give the details again?

President Paternoster: For the benefit of this council it would be greatly appreciated.

Tara:  OK. Well I noticed a mutual attraction with Benjamin the first time our eyes met but we tried not to do anything because unlike me he was married.

President Paternoster: So what events occurred that led to the situation we are in today?

Tara:  Well we became friends on Facebook where we learned more about and flirted with each other.  We also saw each other at church and ward activities and always tried to talk and be together without raising suspicion. We missed each other terribly when we were apart though we never spoke of it. It’s hard to explain but there was an understanding between us and it often felt like we could read each others thoughts and feelings.

President Paternoster: So how did this relationship progress?

Tara:  One night very late we were chatting on Facebook and Benjamin asked me to come over.  His wife was out of town for a few days. I wanted to be with him so badly that I agreed. 

President Paternoster: and can you describe what happened when you arrived?

Tara:  Is it necessary to give details or can I just say that we engaged in intercourse that night?

President Paternoster: We would appreciate a full confession. Since you have already done this you can say as much as you are comfortable and let Benjamin fill in the details.  I just wanted to give you an opportunity to speak too, but as you know we are here to decide on the discipline of Benjamin.

Tara:  Okay I can continue a little; when I arrived he invited me in and took me in his arms.  I could see that he absolutely adored me by the way he looked at me and I felt the same way towards him.  It felt so amazing to finally be alone together after all this time.  Benjamin I'm getting a little hot perhaps you should continue from here.

Benjamin: Yes, well, I brought her close to me and told her how beautiful she was and how much I loved her and had wanted so desperately to be with her. I started nibbling her ear lobe and kissing her neck.

Tara:  and you told me you wanted to be with me forever.  There was soft music playing in the background and you had candles burning

High Councilor number 6: President surely such details are not necessary

President Paternoster: True.  Please move on.

Tara:  Of course. Well then he kissed me whilst stroking my face with his hand.  We kissed for a long time.  I loved having his hands in my hair, on my neck and around me.

Benjamin: and then I took your hand and led you upstairs to the bed. You were wearing those red high heel shoes that you knew I loved.

Tara:  Yes, and then we kissed on the bed for what seemed to be a wonderfully long time.

High Councilor number 5:  At this point were you still fully clothed?

Benjamin: Yes, but somehow I found my hands under her shirt and quite accidentally I undid her bra. 

Tara:  and then I lifted up my arms kind of like we do in the temple and you took off my top.  I loved how you kissed my arms and neck after that and ran your fingers through my hair. You held me so tight, I didn't want you to ever let go.

Bishop: Tara Tara I think you are getting a little carried away here! Sorry President this happens every time she talks about the events of that night. 

President Paternoster: Benjamin, please continue. 

Benjamin: Well at this point her bra was undone and I noticed that whilst kissing her shoulders I could make the bra straps fall down her arms without her noticing.

Tara:  and then I put my arms down and leant slightly forward to kiss him which caused my bra to completely fall off giving him full access to that which was previously hidden. 

2nd counselor in stake presidency: TARA, please let Benjamin continue.

Benjamin: Well I teased her breasts with my fingers and tongue which Tara seemed to very much enjoy.

Tara:  I just loved it when you gently made rings around my nipple with your tongue and then..

President Paternoster: TARA.

Tara:  Sorry. Go on Benjamin

Benjamin: Well after the whole breast session....or was it during it you took off my shirt Tara?

Tara:  It was right as you were teasing them – I pulled you closer and ripped off your shirt as I desperately wanted to feel your skin on mine.  I can’t believe you forgot that part.

Benjamin: I do apologize. Well, then I found myself gently stroking her lower regions with my fingers under her skirt but over the top of her panties while kissing her which drove her completely wild.

Tara:  and then I fell backwards and with both hands on your head I guided you down to that area.  You took off my panties but I still had my skirt on and you gently teased me with your tongue making me lift that region up towards you in order to obtain the pure ecstasy that I so desperately craved.

1st counselor in stake presidency:  Brother Stevens (the clerk), please note that in contradiction to the 1982 letter given by the First Presidency Benjamin engaged in the impure and unnatural act of oral relations of a sexual variety and nature. 

Brother Stevens: Duly noted President

Tara:  Let me continue; he then slowly put his fingers inside and started pleasuring me with them all the while still using his tongue on me which created the most sublime sensational experience I have ever had.  Then full of the lusts of the flesh I took off the rest of his and my clothes (apart from my red shoes) and did likewise to him, but in a way in which he still had access to pleasure me.

President Paternoster: I’m not sure how that would be possible – but please move on.

High Councilor number 9:  I can discreetly explain it to you after the meeting President

President Paternoster: That won’t be necessary but yes I think I will need to have a talk with you after this meeting.  Let’s move on.

Tara:  Well before long we were engaging in full intercourse and trying all sorts of different ways and positions to pleasure one another.  It felt like our bodies were completely made for each other and I became concerned that the neighbours might wake up. 

High Councilor number 7:  How long did this whole process take?

Benjamin: Oh it was a good three hours or so. 

High Councilor number 7:  Wow....that must have been...ummm...awful, just awful.

President Paternoster: Benjamin after all was said and done did you quickly put back on your garments as instructed in the temple?

Tara:  Oh no we slept completely naked together until the morning.  Luckily I had the day off and Benjamin called in sick so we spent the whole day together too.  I only left that evening as I had to go out with my sister.

1st counselor in stake presidency:  Brother Stevens please note that Benjamin did not put back on his garments after intercourse as instructed in the temple and in accordance with the covenants he has made therein.

Brother Stevens:  Noted

President Paternoster: Well I think we have heard enough and I appreciate your forthrightness in confessing all this. I understand it is a very difficult thing to do in front of everyone and am assured that you must both feel absolutely terrible for what you have done.  Benjamin what steps have you already taken to repent of this awful sin? 

Benjamin: Well as a first step I told my wife.

President Paternoster: And how did she react?

Benjamin: Well to be honest she seemed a little bit relieved and had some interesting things to tell me that I was previously unaware of.  We have a much more open relationship now.

President Paternoster:  Well it's important for couples to be open with each other and find out what's best for them.  The gospel brings great joy to those who confess and are willing to repent Benjamin. 
Benjamin: Indeed

Well without giving the rest of the details I just want to say that the spirit was very strong and tears flowed freely throughout this meeting.  As my first counselor has stated several times “In my experience the spirit is most abundantly poured out at funerals and disciplinary councils where feelings are more tender and hearts more open.”

We excused our three guests and deliberated as a high council.  As a stake presidency we then met separately for a few minutes and after consulting the Lord made our decision.  We received a unanimous vote from the council that Benjamin should be excommunicated and brought him back in the room to inform him of this decision and of our great love and concern for him.  I told him that we felt this was the best thing for his salvation at this time and encouraged him to work with his Bishop towards re-baptism and a restoration of his priesthood and temple covenants.  I mentioned that when his bishop feels he is ready a similar meeting to the one we just had would occur to determine worthiness for re-baptism.  I told Benjamin that at that time we will go through all the details of that night again.  He asked what would happen if he moved and I was able to assure him that the notes from this meeting will be sent to Salt Lake and would be made available to his new stake president so he had nothing to fear in that regard.  

When they left I noticed through the window that Benjamin and Tara went in the same vehicle.  I understand that gas prices are high but I really must counsel them to avoid being with each other (although after what they have been through I am sure they won’t make the same mistake again). 

I pray that this blog post will serve as a stern warning to all of what might happen if you have friends of the opposite gender on your Facebook pages.  I would invite those who are comfortable to open up and share how their testimonies have grown as they have participated in church disciplinary councils either as part of a council or as the one receiving the righteous disciplinary decisions from faithful priesthood holders.

May the Lord bless you all for your righteous examples and faithfulness.

Lovingly shared by your humble servant in the Lord, even President Paternoster.


Anonymous said...

Wow, I'll add her to my facebook account immediately. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Wait, how WAS it possible for her to do that?

Kerry said...

Erotica is awesome!

kuri said...

I appreciate the great work that you do here, but rather than encouraging those under 21 to stop reading, I believe you should encourage those who are not married to stop. Unmarried members of the church should not be reading or thinking about such matters related to the sacred power of procreation.

Cindy said...

It is important for members to confess the more serious sins including sexual sins. Confessing to the proper authorities can help you lift the burden of guilt and lead you back onto the path of righteousness. It seems pretty obvious that the couple in this "story" felt no remorse for what they did. I really don't see the point in having to give such details. Having to confess would be hard enough as it is and would show that the person understands the seriousness of what they did. Going into explicit sexual details seems highly inappropriate.

Anonymous said...

Cindy, the details are very important for assessing the severity of the transgression in light of the transgressor's state of mind. For example, I imagine that among the omitted details Tara was asked what color underwear she wore. This is a standard question in such cases. Red or black would indicate premeditated sexiness on her part, somewhat reducing Benjamin's guilt (and increasing hers, but that was not at issue here). White would have the opposite effect. It is the weight of many details of this kind that determines whether the appropriate action is excommunication or a lesser penalty.

Brother Mobegone said...

President Paternoster,

I commend you for your boldness and righteousness. Truly you are a chosen elder in Zion. Some will mock you or persecute you, but hold your head up high. You are following the example of Jesus in His holding of the first disciplinary counsel - an account the inspired and holy work of the Joseph Smith Translation has given us:

With the subject at hand, it may also be appropriate for me to come before you and all my online brothers and sisters in confession. I have sinned grievously and must ask that you all forgive me. Especially you, President. I make my confession here:

Verily President, if my confession goes against your rules on promoting one's self, I shall swallow my pride and you may delete my post. But I feel the need to promote the truth of my sin, that I may dwell in the light and be forgiven.

I love you, President. I look forward to us serving in the First Presidency together someday - a future event which I have received a special witness of.

Yours truly,
Brother Mobegone

Mike said...

It is good to see a proper rendition of God's church in action, performing its holy duty. Thank you for the honest insight into the stake high council. So few appreciate the hard work in performing these great duties of the Lord and the heavy weight of the Priesthood responsibilities that rest upon our shoulders.

One should, of course, not second-guess the outcome of an LDS Court of Love such as this, but I must ask why Benjamin's wife was not questioned during the proceedings? Was it not partially her fault that Benjamin strayed into the arms of another woman? In my mind, she should have at least been made partially responsible for her husband's sin, and should have at least been released from her callings. It has been the inspiration of our presidency and council that the woman is always partially responsible! She should be questioned about her own sexual shortcomings and how that may have contributed to her husband seeking out another woman. I mean, how does she stack up against the man's lover? Therein lies most the problem!

At any rate, I'm thankful that you have painted an accurate picture of the stake challenges that we have in guiding our Stakes of Zion.

Your brother in Joseph Smith,

Brother Mike

Angel said...

Exactly... and why was Benjamin's wife out of town? If she had been in her proper place - at home, barefoot and pregnant - then this opportunity for temptation would not have arisen. Benjamin needs to use his priesthood to rein her back in and remind her of her duties.

Orson McConkie said...

Dear President:

First, let me state my profound gratitude for your wonderful blog! I know that as a Stake President you must have a very full schedule, and the fact that you find time to share your profound wisdom and insights with your fellow members-in-Christ makes my heart swell with love and admiration. You are truly a man of God, and one to be emulated!

As I read your recounting of this Court of Love, my mind was opened, and it was revealed unto me a much greater understanding of the love, charity, and concern our leaders feel for us. I hope and pray that the adulterous pair also felt that love, despite their fallen state. I applaud your thorough questioning of the unfortunate sinners. You no doubt agree that those who flagrantly break the commandments of the Lord are too often let off the hook easily, and requiring the transgressors to relive and recount all of the vile and abominable details of the sordid episode(s) surely aids in the repentance process.

Each time that I sit in Sacrament Meeting and observe those unfortunate souls in my midst who have been denied the blessings of partaking in the ordinance of the Sacrament, I shall think of this inspired blog-posting, and I will know in my heart that they too have had the opportunity of confessing all to an equally righteous and God-fearing group of the Lord’s servants as you and your subordinates on the High Council!

God bless you, President. You are truly a spiritual giant!

Orson McConkie

Brother Heber said...

While reading your post, the spirit has manifested to me that facebook is a tool of Satan. I will command my wife to delete her account as soon as possible. As the priesthood holder in the home I feel it is my duty to maintain my account and I would ask any of you to friend me (especially Tara if possible).

Let me also state that Brother Benjamin is not at fault in this instance and I would recommend to you that his priesthood blessings be restored at once. Just as Eve beguiled Adam in the garden and the Lord placed upon her the curse of Eve, so has Tara beguiled Brother Benjamin. Coming to the home of a married priesthood holder while his wife is out of town and dressing in red spiked heels and fish net stalkings (at least that was the visual as I read their confession) I feel that Brother Benjamin succumbed to the curse of Eve and should be forgiven.
Tara, on the other hand, should be stripped of all temple blessings and word should be spread amongst the congregation to worn the sisters in the ward of the serpent amongst them.

Brother Heber

Anonymous said...

While reading this the spirit manifested in a rush of blood to my loins.

Al said...


After reading this post, I engaged in an immoral act with myself. Do you think God will forgive me?

Anonymous said...

I am sure it was a HARD time for the entire stake presidency and high council.

Anonymous said...

Dear President,
You seem so wise and understanding, I would like to ask a question I tremble and shake to address to my own inspired leaders. I'm afraid it reveals my tendency to submit to the natural man (or in my case, woman) many times when my spirit would like to remain pure. As a lowly handmaiden of the Lord I do not have access to his Holy Counsel as supplied by the sacred (not secret) church handbook of instructions vol 1. (My husband being a member of the Elder's Quorum Presidency, does have vol. 2in our home, so guess I could peruse the sublime text of that inspired document, but I feel inspired to seek the further light and knowledge of volume 1 as interpreted by a member of the Holy Melchizedek priesthood called to preside in such a high office as yours.)

So my question is (this is so embarrassing!) If while reading the minutes of something as holy, and inspiring as this court of love, I felt the blood rush to my most sacred nether regions, and the erogenous zones on my chest, er, became engorged with blood, and extremely sensitive to touch, and I wanted to grab the nearest man, and undress him, would I need to report such unholy thoughts and inclinations to my Bishop, or better yet, my Stake President? (I feel especially guilty about this reaction in light of the sacred nature of the text that made me succumb to the natural inclinations of the flesh.)

I hope you can satisfy the aching desires of my mind on this point since this is not the first time I have had this reaction to the written word, which I feel should only be used to convey the sublime message of the gospel.

a lowly sister in the one true church.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...


I pray to God that no one lets him drive, vote or dress himself in the morning.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Captain Obvious. Geez some people are dumb.

Stake Pres. said...

Thank you all for your wonderful input. To the lowly sister who has experienced impure thoughts due to this blog post I would counsel you to humbly meet with your bishop who will help you on your path to repentance that you may be pure once again even as I am pure.

Thank you to the anonymous Brother who has warned all that I am a fraud and a fake. Father forgive him for he knows not what he does.

Anonymous said... guys get touchy when someone points out the obvious fact that this guy is not a stake president. Funny enough, there are still a few people who believe he is.

Anonymous said...

You still only talk about how it is wrong to ask you for prof that you are really a Mormon Stake President and you still refuse to do so.

One must conclude that you are an outsider trying to misslead people about my Church.

Will you provide prof that you are really a Mormon Stake Presidant, or will you just continue to talk around the answer and say it is wrong to ask you for the truth?



Stake Pres. said...

Fred you are welcome to ask for proof of my identity.

Anonymous said...

...but you won't get it, Fred. He's obviously NOT a stake president, but most in-the-know already know that.

D.H. Oaks said...

I can testify that I called and set apart President Paternoster as Stake President. I testify that he was called of God to this very important calling and that he was called by God, through the Prophet.

The policy and doctrines he espouses are dictated by God, through me and my co-Apostles, and have been published by direct inspiration from God.

Speak no evil of the Lord's annointed, my friends.

Anonymous said...

This whole site is a hoax.

Nikki said...


Wendi Anderson said...

I can see how some people might get confused. It is often difficult to see the different between religion and satire of religion. And often they are exactly the same thing.

Insana D said...

Dear President Paternoster, I feel the need to confess a great sin that I committed after my divorce. It was with one of my clients. His wife had recently passed away and he was really lonely and obviously attracted. The worst part is that he is BLACK, and very tall, all over. I'm wondering if the gravity of this sin warrants a full confession of the details. We managed to get together about ten or twelve times.

Please advise. I am heavily burdened by this great sin.

Anonymous said...

At first, I thought I was going to read sincere thoughts of a stake president on the disciplinary process. However, upon further reading it became obvious that the author of this post is: (1) most certainly not a stake president, and (2) does not understand and/or intends to mock a sacred and highly personal process.

To all readers, please note, this post does NOT represent the actual process. This is, rather, low comedy, farce, or worse.

Anonymous said...

It is so hard for me to read this and to truly think this is how God works. I highly doubt that this is an accurate account of the process.

Anonymous said...

I am a member of the LDS church that has gone through the process of being excommunicated. I know how the process is done and I can tell you that this posting is in no way posted from a Stake President and the entire process he laid out is a complete lie and he is a fake & most likely a sexual addict and predator. First off those two would have never been in the same room at the same time. It is forbidden for them to have any contact and they each would have had their own disciplinary councils at a different time. The only details discussed is with the Stake President in private. The high counsel is only told the offense committed. NO DETAILS. They counsel does not scream out there is another offense. After having gone through the experience I can tell you first hand if any of this crap had really happened I would not be a member of this church. Sounds more to me like he was a Catholic conducting a counsel on the pervs that got all those child molesters off the hook. Pathetic post.

Anonymous said...

shame on these men for judging; only Christ is the final judge. private lives are none of their business just like they don't want others knowing about their bedroom lives private is private.

Anonymous said...

Dear sir, can a non-lds request a disciplinary council against a patriarch who has violated church standards? Can a non-lds serve as a witness of such behavior?

Could you please point to some church literature? An LDS Patriarch has violated Church standards and threaten others with physical harm, has rob others, and committed fraud as well, and yet, the stake president refuses to see it if not brought to him by a church member.

Help please.


Anonymous said...

As a member of the LDS church who has been involved in disciplinary councils (the one taking the minutes of the meeting), I can assure anyone who still might believe this post represents the process that it is not even close.

I know it is obviously fake to most people, but there still might be someone who does not know that. The process is not like this at all. Making it sound like putting on your garments after sex is required, especially after committing adultery, is absurd.

I could write a whole blog post about how wrong this is and how so many of the comments are manufactured to sound like actual LDS people responding.

It is still true that you cannot believe everything you read on the internet.

Ron Campbell said...

If I let you know that this is so stupid that I am going to ignore it then I'm not ignoring it as I should. Sigh.

EyesOpen said...

This is not representative of the Church or any leader within the Church of Jesus Christ. There is no spirit in this nor is it true. don't believe it.

Unknown said...

I didn't even read 90% of the story. After the first paragraph I could tell this was fake. I was really hoping to find some insight and truth here. I find it sad that you try to defame in such a way.

Oh well...

Anonymous said...

This is so disturbing and completely fake. Such details and comments would never be divulged in a meeting like this.

Why do you attempt to lead worthy members astray?

Dominique said...

You are all a bunch of SICK, SICK, SICK men... getting your jollies off vicariously through others.

You disgust me. You are rapists. To make them discuss such details, using your ecclesiastical authority as pressure, is tantamount to rape.

THIS is the main reason I left the Mormon church. You protect pedophiles (my rapist abused over 300 children and not ONE priesthood authority did ANYTHING to protect future victims); you protect Gadianton-esque white collar criminals, as long as they pay tithes and offerings; and then you prey upon "the least of these".

If this is real, and is not a satirical punch at a counterfeit religion... then how can you call yourself a man of god?

Skyler said...

of course it is face Dominique.. Common now.

Anonymous said...

fuckin dumb ass

Anonymous said...

Of course this is satire. It eludes to a high council humorously unaware that a former of it's members has committed adultery, and then entered into an open marriage.

My only sadness is that I found this whilst searching for encouragement on how to deal with one of my own great mistakes. It looked serious, and I am sorry for being a buzzkill.

If I may be excused, I really do have to go find the courage to repent, and tell my wife hoping she will have mercy on me.

Skyler said...

Whatever happens it will be for the best. Anon

Unknown said...

Just few weeks ago I saw a comment about Dr. Ekpen Temple, someone talking about how he has help him in his relationship break up, I also contacted him because i was facing the same problem in my relationship, today i can boldly recommend Dr. Ekpen Temple to someone who is also facing break up in his or her relationship to contact him for help today because he has help me restore my relationship back to normal, here is he contact details ( or whatsapp him on +2347050270218