Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Extending Callings to Sisters - A More Inspired Way

As a stake president it is my duty to teach priesthood leaders correct procedures to use when extending callings. After reading this months inspiring Ensign article entitled “Called of God” I am going to make a slight adjustment to the way I extend callings to Sisters and will share this at the next bishopric training meeting. 

In the past if I had in mind to call a sister to a position in the stake I would meet with her and her husband. I would then find out how they are and perhaps inquire as to whether they are praying together, holding family home evening, attending the temple etc.  Then if I still felt prompted I would turn to the sister and extend the calling.  I would ask how she feels about the new responsibility.  Upon gaining her acceptance I would then turn to her husband and ask if he is willing to support and sustain his wife in this new calling. 

The current issue of the Ensign has shown me a better way to extend callings to sisters.*

From now on as per the perfect example given I will still meet with the couple and ask how they are but when extending the call instead of speaking to the Sister first to see how she feels about the calling that she is about to receive I will turn to the husband and ask for his permission to call his wife to the position in question.  After he and I have discussed it and he has agreed only then will I extend the call to his wife. In this way we will be taking the opportunity to firmly place priesthood brethren in their rightful place as head of the home.

As priesthood leaders follow the Lord in using the inspired interviewing techniques shown in this months Ensign, sisters will learn to put a greater amount of faith and trust in their husbands, a greater peace and tranquility will abide in the homes of members and there will be more love and harmony within the stakes of Zion.

Lovingly shared by President Paternoster         

Quote “…..the ward clerk set an appointment for us to meet with the new bishop on Tuesday evening. After a short visit, the bishop asked my husband’s permission to call me as the Primary president of the new ward. Then he issued the call to me. I was shocked, but I had been taught never to turn down a calling, so I agreed to do my best.”


morgbotalpha said...

Thank you! As a husband I've always felt slighted when not properly recognized as the legitimate head of household. My wife, god love her, is too educated and strong willed for her own good. I don't know how many times each week I must remind her to hearken to me as I hearken to the lord. Now that my priesthood leaders know to recognize me first, I'm sure she will become a better wife and servant of the lord.

morgbotalpha said...

Please make sure that my comments do not get back to my wife.

Anonymous said...

Wow morgbotalpha

I am glad I am not married to you. I am LDS but I come from a fundamentalist background where the men exercise dominion over their wives and beat them over the head verbally because they have to be subject to their husbands. I have read in the Ensign and other church books that a marriage is supposed to be an equal partnership, each person contributing and not just one person berating another to 'recognize them.' You just put a real bad taste in my mouth for my daughters to marry someone like you. I'd rather they marry outside of the church and not be suffocated spiritually and mentally.

Rebeckah said...

It's always so heartwarming to see husbands being pushed into positions of absolute domination over their wives. After all, that's why the Lord used that extra toe bone from Adam to create woman, right? Women, accept your role in life!!!

Fortunately I am single and not a Mormon so I don't have to deal with the entire issue. lol

Bennion said...

Thank you so much for your wonderful article, President Paternoster!

I feel that the wise guidance bestowed to us by our inspired leaders is in accordance with the sacred ordinances of the temple. Although I am careful not to reveal specifics about the ordinances there, as the brethren have counseled us, I feel that it is appropriate to mention a principle illustrated in the Endowment. The brethren are to follow the counsel of the Lord, and the sisters are to follow the counsel of the brethren, as they follow the Lord.

This wise change to your pattern of extending callings will serve to reinforce this sacred and eternal principle.

Molly Smith said...

Thank you so much President Paternoster. I am so happy to know that over the past 9 years I have had righteous Bishops who have harkened unto this counsel. They took it even a step further, and met with my husband a full week before I was issued my callings (two different callings,, two different Bishops).

Boyd P. said...

How grateful I am that our Church is standing against the evil progression that the world is forcing upon us.

Brother Heber said...

This would come as a big relief to my wife who does not like to be put in the position of deciding for herself if she will accept a calling or not. She fully trusts in the priesthood of God and knows I will decide for her in wisdom.
We take our temple oaths very seriously. Nightly, before our companionship prayer, we recite to each other our oaths from the temple. I state that I will hearken to the Lord, she then looks at me and swears to me that she will hearken to me as I hearken to the Lord. On Sunday nights we do this in our temple clothing. It is a moving spiritual experience that I recommend to anyone who wishes to grow closer to the Lord God.
I love the gospel.

Anonymous said...

This would have been helpful for me when I was living in a non-Utah ward years ago. It was a large ward suffering with "the same 10 people" syndrome. Members were turning down callings and it seemed as though the "same 10 people" were simply being shifted around from calling to calling, often doubling and tripling up on callings because nobody else wanted to share the workload. At the peak, as a mother of 4 I was Primary President, with only 1 counsellor, no music person, no in-service teacher, no nursery leader (we had to cancel nursery) 1/2 the number of teachers so we doubled up the classes, plus I was also the Ward Meetinghouse Librarian, the sacrament program typist/printer, the Activities Committee Chairman and a Visiting Teacher. I was then taken aside one Sunday and called to be the Cub leader. It would have been nice to have my husband be able to say "she can't do that calling" on my behalf. Instead, knowing that the Lord doesn't ask more of us than we can handle, I exhaustedly accepted the calling.

morgbotalpha said...

morgbotalpha and his sarcasm shrink before the mighty hand of an angry gynocracy. Please do not think I hate women. On the contrary, I use satire and sarcasm to point out the obvious foibles of the LDS position. Even if that position is supported by the logic of the esteemed SP paternoster. Sorry Stk Pres.

Donna Banta said...

President Paternoster, do you think it's wise to allow the sister to be in the same room during the discussion of her calling? It's possible that the rare disrespectful wife might interrupt with an actual opinion about how she is allowed to spend her free time. Better to leave her out of the process entirely.

anonymous78 said...

Our Bishop is very wise in the art of callings already!

Once he was talking to my husband before my husband taught his primary class, I walked out of the room to use the restroom and returned to a closed door. I walked in figuring they'd just continued their earlier conversation and found he was calling my husband to teach Elders Quorum. He seemed visibly upset that I had interrupted and told me to leave. I refused, and stated anything he had to say to my husband he could say in front of me. That callings affect the entire family, once he realized I wasn't leaving he asked if I supported my husband in this new calling. I stated I did as long as my husband accepted it.

Later in a calling for me, we met alone in the Bishops office. When I refused to make a decision right away, he offered to go get my husband. I was confused over the suggestion as my husband has never made a decision for me. I said no thank you and left.

My husband and I have a rule, no calling is accepted without talking to the other spouse first, because no calling involves only one person. Time in a calling is time away from family.

BTW, my experience alone with the creepy Bishop will never be repeated, I refuse to meet with him unless my husband is present.

Anonymous said...

One stake president felt it was important to recognize the presiding authority of the woman's bishop, as well as that of her husband. To issue callings to a sister, two adjacent offices were reserved in the stake center. The interview began with the sister alone in one office while the president conferred with her bishop and husband.

At the appropriate time, the brethren having come together in purpose, the president would give direction for the bishop and husband to go across to the woman, obtain her consent to accept the calling, return, and report.

The bishop and husband would enter the second office, and the bishop would say to the husband, here is your wife, then repeating the president's directions verbatim for the benefit of the husband. He in turn would address his wife, passing on the president's message directly to her, and await a response. This having been done, the husband would address the bishop, restating his wife's response. The bishop would then state that he and the husband would return and report to the stake president, and the brethren would leave the second office.

After returning and reporting, if all was well, the president would issue the calling and direct the two other brethren to convey it to the sister, await her acceptance, return and report. The same procedures were followed as for the initial inquiry, with another round trip by the bishop and husband. Upon being informed of the sister's acceptance, the bishop and husband would rejoin the sister, the bishop would repeat instructions from the president sending them on their way home, and then the bishop (alone) would return once again to the president's office.

What beautiful simplicity and order there was in this procedure! It did once give rise to a question for which I have no answer. One sister's husband was out of town on an extended business trip. Such was the zeal of the Relief Society president that she asked if it would be possible for the woman's eldest son, a newly ordained deacon, to substitute for his father so that the calling could be issued before the father's return. She felt that perhaps as the highest priesthood authority then in residence with the sister's family, the young man might be acceptable in that role. Unfortunately before our beloved stake president could be consulted, he vanished without a trace. Wicked rumors suggested he was fleeing the consequences of financial impropriety, but some of us had a witness that he was translated to heaven. I hope some day to attain the further light and knowledge that his answer would have provided.

R. Nephi Samuelson said...

Thank you President Paternoster for another wonderful and inspiring message. My dear eternal companion is typing my reply to you as I finish a slice of delicious apple pie she made for our evening's dessert following our roast beef dinner. I am truly thankful for her and all that she does to show her obedience to my counsel as I hearken unto the counsel of our Heavenly Father.

She has always been an obedient help-meet to me and has shown our four daughters and five sons what it means to be a servant to those who righteously exercise their priesthood without guile, force or coercion. I am truly blessed to have her at my side, eternally.

I am often impressed at her desire to follow my wise counsel, and her submission to my prayerful rebukes to her each night during our couple's prayer before retiring for the night. She is an example to me in submission and fortitude in enduring under my wise, yet gentle guidance.

May the Lord continue to further His work through your efforts dear President. My wife often comments on how handsome and righteously strong you appear in your photo. (*Sister Roberta Samuelson: It's true, I do!)

Your brother in the restored Gospel and in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, even the advocate with the Father, Amen.

-R. Nephi Samuelson

Anonymous said...

As an LDS woman I find this very insulting. If you are wanting to extend a calling to the wife, the husband does not need to give permission, he only needs to commit to supporting her in the calling, and since this calling is for the woman, she should be the one addressed first!

My husband may be the preisthood holder in the home, but I am NOT subservient to him nor should any wife be made to feel she should be. A helpmeet means partner, not servant.

It's this kind of garbage that turned me away from the church for many years. It was only after I realized that not all men in the church are cave men and that the Lord loves and cherishes me as a daughter, and not as a lesser being, that I was finally able to come back to church.

Boyd P - what evil? Since when is asking a woman to accept a calling before asking her husband for "permission" evil? Get over yourself!

Morgbotalpha - You are a coward!

John Stack said...

Sister Anonymous, I don't think it is your place to question a stake president who is called of God. My wife made an oath in the temple to obey me and has never broken it.

If you will notice in the scriptures it plainly says that the woman was deceived FIRST...not Adam. This is also taught in the temple. It is not my personal teaching nor is it the teaching of the man of God who runs this blog, President Paternoster. The man is the head. Your job is to humbly submit to him and to the holy priesthood.

I think it would be wise to apologize to President Paternoster lest you be guilty of evil speaking against the Lord's annointed.

Elder John Stack

Paul Sunstone said...

Is it absolutely necessary that the woman at all speak in these sorts of meetings? Wouldn't it be wiser if, for her own good, she remained silent so she could all the better absorb what was going on. After all, we cannot listen when we are talking.

Mohonri Kimball said...

John Stack said "My wife made an oath in the temple to obey me"

My obedient wife and I are eternally grateful to have made our covenants in the Temple prior to 1990 when this important part of the original Temple ceremony was still in place.

Modern Mormons are evidently no longer worthy to receive the "meat" of the true Temple covenants, and only get the "milk" version.

I pray for the day when the membership of the Church will one day again be worthy, and for "all things to be restored"

The inspired counsel of President Paternoster to follow the teachings given to us in the modern scripture, (Ensign) give me hope that I may yet live to see that glorious day.

Anonymous said...

President, as the Elders Quorum President in the Sandy Utah 115th ward, I wish to say that I sustain you whole-heartedly with both hands raised high above my head . . . Truly, dear brother, you have heard the still small voice of the our dear, precious Lord and Savior, even the Lord Jesus Christ, the advocate with the Father, even the great Jehovah, as prophets of old heard and harkened to his all-knowing word. You have truly been blessed with the holy spirit of prophecy, for the Holy Spirit whispers to my soul that it is true. I have a firm and abiding testimony in your inspired words.
I have had this very conversation with my own Stake President Parley D. Smith pertaining to the proper role of mothers in the Kingdom of God on the Earth, verily the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It seems the church has been liberalized and corrupted in the most vile ways from the days of the Great Apostasy. We must return to the form of the Primitive Church, as we are living in the Fullness of Times and only those with harken to the voice of God will have the fortitude to obey these strict commands, so that one day women will return to their proper places in the world and the church of God. Where the holy Apostle Paul stated that women should not speak, and they should cover their faces, and abide the strictest of all forms of virtue and modesty. It will be a blessed day when women return to kitchen and hearth of the home from their worldly careers.
Women have become unvirtruous whores who believe that righteous men will be enticed by their wily nature and move away from the Everlasting God by the sight of their cleverly uncovered flesh. What truly righteous man would be enticed to spread his seed amongst such an unholy nation as one to parade their women folk through the streets in short shorts, bikini tops, colored lips, reddened cheeks, shaven legs, ample cleavage, round perky buttocks half covered . . . well, you get the picture. Holy brothers of the priesthood are not so inclined, and we will refuse the women who are beautiful in the sight of the world. Then our women will know what they must do to have the blessings of being sealed to a righteous priesthood holder, the only person on earth who holds the power and authority to take them to the Celestial Kingdom of God, the Church of the Firstborn, to have offspring forever and ever, worlds without end unto the Lord.
You have begun a wonderful thing, and we must move quickly to get the women to their proper places, for through you the Lord has decreed that now is the time to have the women turn to their proper places of subordinate obedience as we the priesthood holders harken to the voice of the Lord through our chosen leaders such as yourself. And may the sisters of Zion learn that nothing is so beautiful to the Lord, the Brethren, and men who are righteous followers of Christ than a sister who is clothed in the Garment of the Holy Priesthood.

☼ Dayna said...

I am SO grateful for this new and inspired way to extend callings to the sisters. When I was approached by the bishop to receive a calling, I just stood there, staring at him, confused.

It was like he was giving me a math problem, talking about science, or making me order my own meal in a restaurant! What to do? Where is my husband to sort these issues for me and tell me the right way in all things? I married a priesthood holder so that these burdensome decisions could be made by the one who hearkens closest to The Father!

This new method will make it so I don't have to worry my pretty little head about things which should have been decided on by the priesthood in the first place.

I am thankful that everything is now right with the world and I can go back to my quilting and baking. Thank you first presidency!

Anonymous said...

...and don't forget scrapbooking Dayna! More time for scrapbooking!

LorenzoBWC said...

Mohonri Kimball said...

'My obedient wife and I are eternally grateful to have made our covenants in the Temple prior to 1990 when this important part of the original Temple ceremony was still in place.'

Dearest brother in Jesus Christ I sense the spirit of perdition and a deep sadness has taken hold of your soul. We all know the temple ordinances have been the same since the revelation came to the Prophet Joseph Smith to restore the the ordinances to the way the Primative Church was. Who are you? Who are you to assert that our holy,sacred ordinances have been changed? Outer darkness exist for those who do not believe.

Cindy said...

Thank-you for your post President. I’m not threatened that my husband is the head of our home at all. In fact I find comfort in it. Asking the husband first showed respect to him and his role within his family. Callings can sometimes be a strain on families and it is the husband’s right to decide what is or isn’t too much for his family to handle. The wife still had a chance to either accept or reject the calling. It think this method will help husbands and fathers to raise to the expectations the Lord has for them to take an active role in leading and guiding their families.

Mohonri Kimball said...

LorenzoBWC said "Who are you to assert that our holy,sacred ordinances have been changed?"

I am Mohonri Kimball of the Union 3rd ward in Sandy, Utah. I would like to explain a few things to you about the sacred Temple Ceremony, but the spirit tells me that "sometimes the best companion of truth is silence".

I am constrained by the spirit not to cast my pearls before "swine". I could discuss these things with you except for the fact that I have taken a solemn oath of secrecy never to discuss these things outside the temple. If I were to do so, the spirit might prompt me to slit your throat using my extended right thumb. (palm down, fingers close together.)

Mormon Beliefs said...

I was fortunate enough to be sealed prior to 1990, so I was able to participate in the endowment in its pure, unadulterated form.

Nowadays it's kind of watered down and not as much fun, but oh well. I'm too wise to blame God--it's the members' fault for not being faithful enough and getting all creeped out by the oaths.

safer midwifery utah said...

*whew*. That sure will save me a lot of thinking! It will be so nice not to get so many headaches.

Anonymous said...

President, it is such a blessing to see that you hearken unto the Lord's prophet, even as the bishops hearken unto you, even as the priesthood holders hearken unto the bishop, even as the sisters hearken unto the priesthood holders, for this is the true order of things.

In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Alger's Fannie said...

My concern is for the sister's who have a legal divorce, but not a temple divorce. As a stake president, do you need to contact the ex-husband prior to extending a calling to such a less fortunate sweet sister?

Joseph K. Packer said...

Thank you for sharing this revelation with us president Paternoster. To those who mock (and they are probably in the great and spacious building seen in the dream of lehi. and I am not talking about the City Creek Mall or The LDS Conference Center but about the real buildings filled with people who mock the Lord) and say that these rituals are creepy. A reminder that it is said unto us by men of God.

Anonymous said...

What happens then if the Husband says yes and then wife refuses? I would suspect that she should be forced to take the call and actually in this case I would suspect that the sister should then ask her husband how to do the calling each time she has assignments to do as this was definitely inspiration! Priesthood definitely has all the power!

Anonymous said...

It just goes to show that false doctrine sneaks in from many places. Read your handbook, "Prez".

Renee's ramblings said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Renee's ramblings said...

Is this real of satire?

Renee's ramblings said...

Comments on this post are insane. Unauthorized and inappropriate "ceremony" and classic unrighteous dominion. See Ensign July 1989.

Anonymous said...

Agreed! I can't believe many of these comments have not been removed. They are an embarrassment to the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Bro May said...

Nothing about this post is correct now and it wasn't correct according to church policy and church handbooks in 2011. If any person is married it is appropriate to interview the couple together when extending the calling to one or the other and asking the other to support their spouse. No man should ever give permission for his wife to have a calling. This is a gross post and many of these comments are insane and wicked.