Monday, August 1, 2011

Adoption and the Unwed Mother

Sarah a 21 year old unmarried woman made a terrible mistake and became pregnant.  Usually I would have her bishop counsel with her but as a close friend of the family and with her father being in a very high stake position I felt it better that I counsel with them myself.

The family is very distraught as they feel their reputation and standing in the church community are at risk.  I can’t even begin to think how such a thing would affect me. It's awful, just awful. No one knows about this not even Sarah’s siblings as the parents want to keep this as quiet as possible and don’t want her poor example to be known and possibly followed by others. 

The terrible thing about these situations is not only the sin committed by the persons in question but the fact that a child will not be born in the covenant and will therefore not be sealed to them in the eternities. This is a very unfair situation in which to put a child. Fortunately the Church has put people and programs in place to help unwed parents repent of their sin and build futures for themselves and their baby.

The best option in these cases is for the mother and father of the child to marry and work towards a temple sealing that the child may be sealed in turn to them. This scenario is highly unlikely though as the 24 year old father of the unborn child with whom I met is an atheist who sees little to no point in “getting a piece of paper saying they are married.”  He is willing to live with Sarah and raise the baby and feels a fatherly obligation and desire to do so.  They claim to be deeply in love and Sarah is struggling with the temptation to live with this man and raise their child together. This is very concerning to both her parents and I.  No man who truly loves a woman would do anything to embarrass her family in this way.

According to the counsel given by the First Presidency* “Every effort should be made in helping those who conceive out of wedlock to establish an eternal family relationship (i.e. a temple sealing). When the unwed parents are unwilling to marry, they should be encouraged to place the child for adoption, preferably through LDS Social Services. … Unwed parents who do not marry should not be counseled to keep the infant as a condition of repentance or out of an obligation to care for one’s own.

I met with Sarah and we discussed the options frankly.  In a loving way I let her know that if she goes and lives with this man out of wedlock she will be excommunicated from the Church and will lose all blessings associated with membership.  She will not even be permitted to pay tithing. She seemed very upset by this.

We then discussed the option of her not having a relationship with this man, but keeping and raising the child herself.  We read on lds.org that studies show **"that fatherless children are more likely to participate in gangs, commit crimes, start fires, use drugs and attempt suicide".  I asked her how she would feel if her child did some of these things such as joining a gang and attempting suicide.  

I told her that there was a third option. I asked her if she loved her parents.  She confirmed to me that she did.  I asked her what she thought this would do to their reputation and standing in the church. She cried as she thought about this.  I asked her if she wanted to do the right thing for the baby and through her tears she said that she did.

I then shared the counsel given by the church on the matter ***which is that when a child is conceived out of wedlock and a successful marriage is unlikely the child should be placed for adoption through LDS Family Services so that the child can go to a righteous family.  I explained that raising the child with a father who is unwilling to marry her would not be a family that the Lord approves of, though the world may think differently. By giving up the baby for adoption the child will be sealed to a real mother and father in the holy temple.  I told her that the First Presidency letter affirms that, “Placing the infant for adoption enables unwed parents to do what is best for the child and enhances the prospect for the blessings of the gospel in the lives of all concerned.”

I explained to her that if she does this the Lord will bless her and her baby and no one in the stake need know about it (her father had a plan to send her away for a few months to a relative in order to keep things discreet).

When I returned a week later she said that her non LDS friends had been advising her to keep the child and raise it with the father whom she loved. The father who is gainfully employed also wants this, but is ultimately leaving the decision within her hands.  Just as this article states **"Well-meaning but mostly uninformed friends were showering her with conflicting and confusing advice. They used implications of guilt and responsibility to support unwise and impractical solutions to the situation. It seemed that each adviser was able to recall specific examples to support his or her advice. Most, it seemed to me, had motives of their own which were not properly focused on the two most important questions: What was best for the baby, and what was best for the young woman?"

I offered her a blessing in which the father participated wherein I blessed her to be able to know by the Holy Spirit that the counsel from the First Presidency was from the Lord and that they knew what was best for her and her baby.

I am happy to report that right after the blessing Sarah through tears agreed to follow the counsel given in the blessing and will be giving the baby up for adoption.  She will also tell the father that the relationship is over.  I told her that after she does these two things she will be forgiven and may partake of the sacrament again.  

I have come to appreciate the correctness of the decision made by a 21-year-old woman who followed the prompting of the Holy Ghost and the advice of Church leaders as she made a wise and eternal decision in a difficult situation. 

President Paternoster





44 comments:

anonymous78 said...

In a recent 5 week lesson we learned about this very subject!! I found it interesting the only qualification to be a "righteous" adoptive parent is a temple recommend.

Amy H said...

I think this also goes to show, we should NEVER date outside the faith!

Anonymous said...

So live with the father and raise your child together. Half of America is following that program. Sometimes President Paternoster is an stick in the mud... which is the way he liked it (of course).

Anonymous said...

So, your advice is that because two people created a child but were not sealed in your supposedly "perfect" temples, they should give up a child they created because your church automatically deems them unfit parents? Are you kidding me?

What bothers me even more about your cult is that the parents of this girl are more concerned about their standing in the church (i.e. social status) than the welfare of their daughter/unborn grandchild.

Stereotypical Mormon attitudes... it makes me sick.

Anonymous said...

Before you berate President Paternoster, know that he has the gift of discernment. Pray and ask God if these parents were fit. I testify that if you do, God will witness in your heart that President Paternoster gave inspired counsel. If you're not very familiar with the LDS church you probably don't konw that a stake president is a very high calling. I don't want to say that only perfect men ascend this high in the church, but close. President Paternoster would not give counsel in conflict with God's desires.

Anonymous said...

This is satire. President paternoster is NOT a Mormon. He most likely was at some point, but no longer is. Also, most of the ridiculous comments are from others also making fun of the church. Please, please don't take this seriously. He is purposely making over the top statements to get you riled up. This post is not the attitude of the vast majority of members.

Bjorge Queen said...

Sorry, Pres. As an atheist, I'm having a hard time feeling for the father here. I can't imagine that he'd rather see his child adopted out than get the "piece of paper" based on some sort of skewed sense of principle. Atheists do get married by the state. We do so to protect the financial interests of our spouses and children. Moreover, a woman cannot give up a child for adoption without the father's consent, something most people prefer to gloss over when encouraging women to choose adoption. (Except for in the state of Utah where many mothers who desire adoption flee to give birth. They can, of course, abort at 19 weeks without the father's consent.) So this situation might result in one of those long and drawn out: "If you don't want the child you might as well go ahead and let me have it" scenarios (as if the child is an old futon to be unloaded) where the father is unwilling to sign away his adoptive rights and the mother is put in a pickle. Mothers don't always get to choose adoption just because they feel it would be best. Under the eyes of the law, carrying a child for nine months and having the ability to ejaculate are pretty much the same thing.
Not to defend the church, but if the father really isn't willing to marry the mother just to make peace and provide some security, he seems like kind of a horse's ass and hardly worth keeping around. If he's serious about being around as a father, he shouldn't want to keep his options open. A "piece of paper" shouldn't be so off putting to him.
I am not saying this "in persona". I am completely serious this time.
These are very painful scenarios people should consider before having unprotected sex.

anonymous78 said...

"This post is not the attitude of the vast majority of members."

I beg to differ, our 5 week lesson was covered exactly like this scenario and had exactly the same attitudes. The only part Paternoster missed was how much more worthy the adoptive parents were because they had a temple recommend--which he alluded to but never came right out and said. Never mind they may suck at parenting, the recommend automatically made them a better parent. Oh, and they wanted to give this lesson to the Young Women but our Stake President thought it was better to present it to their parents first--thank the Lord for that.

Orson McConkie said...

Once again as I come to this blog I am edified by the words of our blessed Stake President, even President Paternoster. What a marvelous, wonderous blessing it is to read your inspired words, as well as the blessed words of advice of our prophetic leaders. These wise men offer us counsel that only the foolish and wicked would disregard.

My heart truly aches for this 21-year-old woman, who although of prime marriageable age has chosen to shame her family and faith through participation in acts of fornication and lasciviousness with a godless young man! Woe unto her and all those like unto her! She is truly an object lesson for all of us that “wickedness never was happiness!”

The ache in my heart is tempered, however, at the thought of the righteous, recommend-holding couple who, despite whatever weaknesses or foibles which brought on their childless state, have been found worthy to receive the product of this unfortunate situation. I know personally of several barren couples who have chosen this route to receive the blessings of parenthood, and I can testify to all who read this that these families appear as normal and blessed as real families!

Although none of my twelve children (returned missionaries and temple-married all) have fallen into such a state of iniquity, I shall refer to this blog posting as a warning to my posterity--even my numerous grandchildren--in the weekly email I send out to each of them. Thank you again, dear sweet President, for your wise and kind words of inspiration!

Orson McConkie

Alma Taylor said...

Your insistence that she break up with her atheist boyfriend is wise.

I know a woman who spent her life with an atheist, and it was horrible! She started drinking coffee and stopped paying tithing to the church. I think she even used to go shopping on Sunday.

Horrible, horrible stuff, I tell you.

Anonymous said...

Frankly I agree that the kid should be given up for adoption. The father refuses to marry the mother but it should be up to the mom where to put the kid up for adoption. Just because you have a temple recommend doesn't automatically make one a good parent.

Mahonri Kimball said...

I don't know why some people (anonymous) keep coming on here an saying that this is satire and that Paternoster is not sincere! I have been following this blog for months, and I have never, ever, seen Paternoster misrepresent Church policy, scripture, or official guidelines. If you don't believe that what Paternoster is saying is the true position of the Church, just read the links! Better yet, ponder and pray with real intent and God will tell you that it is all true. I have a warm feeling inside when I read the inspired words of President Paternoster, and I know that he is a true representative of our Heavenly Father. I also know that Heavenly Father would remove him from the internet before he would allow him to lead me astray.

Alger's Fannie said...

"Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity"

Who are we to deny this most sacred entitlement set for in the proclamation to the world? I agree with your righteous admonition president. Encourage adoption for such single sisters, because I feel surely it is nearly as undesirable as gay couples being able to adopt.

Cindy said...

Giving up a baby for adoption is a difficult choice. It takes a lot of love to make a choice that would be best for your child. Single parents can not be sealed to their children. This is something that causes a lot of heart ache in the homes of our single parent members. I think it was very brave of this young women to make the choice not to have her baby be in this situation.
Even though she thinks she is in love with her boyfriend if he is not someone who can bring her the full blessings of the gospel then their love is not true or at least not divine.

Insana D said...

Dear President Paternoster, This recent essay really hits close to home. As you well know I have had a problem my entire adult life with my chastity and overriding carnal nature.

This horrific defect in my character led me to initiate intimate relations with a young man who payed some much needed attention to me after another young man had dumped me. I became pregnant and realized that I was in a very difficult situation.

The young man had just recently joined the church to try to impress me and win my affections, which I gave all too freely and too soon. So in spite of not being in love I agreed to marry him. He promised to take me to the temple once we had passed the probationary period.

I contemplated giving up my son for adoption and not telling the young man that I was pregnant but the example of many LDS couples before me that had married on even less motivation than a bun in the oven. So when I was a few months pregnant we got married by our Bishop in the Relief Society Room.

It's an understatement to say that our marriage was troubled but we did get sealed in the temple and our son sealed to us. I know that in spite of the miserable and disconnected relationship and consequent conflict we did the right thing and our son and subsequent other children were given the privilege of being raised in a covenant home with parents sealed for Eternity by a true representative of God. All other issues are minor and trivial compared to that.

Yes, our children saw us fight and the lack of genuine love between us but I'm sure they took great comfort in knowing that at least we corrected the grave wrong of fornicating prior to marriage and were sealed in the temple.

Too many people assume that a couple should be in love, should share common interest and intellectual compatibility. Those things are not near as important as obedience to the mandates of the church to be sealed in the temple.

The late great Spencer W. Kimball made it clear that the illusion of soul mates is not a realistic expectation and if two people are active and committed in the gospel they can make their marriage work, as long as they obey their leaders.

Children don't need to see their parents being affectionate or unified. They need to know that their parents are Eternally bonded, yoked like oxen together as they slog through life. That is God's plan.

Brother Heber said...

The fact that she would have sexual relations with an atheist is most disturbing and indicates she has other character flaws. It is important to remember that all of the evil people of this world were, or are, atheists. Hitler, Stalin, Genghis Kahn, Cain, Bin Laden, Clinton,O'Bama, Nancy Pelosi, the list goes on and on.
I think she needs further instruction in this regard. There is no doubt that some of the atheist ideology has rubbed off on her and is inherit in her offspring. I would council that she not be allowed to fraternize with the congregation until this matter is resolved and it has been shown that she has cast out these demons.

Joseph K. Packer said...

"This post is not the attitude of the vast majority of members"

If that is the case then the vast majority of Mormons need to repent. I for once will obey the servants of the Lord. As our beloved president Kimball said in the inspired book "The Miracle of Forgiveness": that any loving parent would rather see his or her child die a horrifying death than see him brake the law of chastity.
The advice that you give to stay away from atheist comes from the Lord even our savior Jesus the Christ.
The advice given to this victim by her "friends" comes from satan. How can she lives with someone who does not believe in God? If all good things come from God then what good thing can he get or provide if does not believe in him?
I testify in the name of Jesus Christ that our leaders and prophets will guide us through these difficult latter days.
Amen

Mahonri Kimball said...

President Paternoster;

Have you considered the fact that possession by an evil spirit may be the root cause of all these problems?

When people exhibit behavior that deviates from normal, often the reason is that their body has become possessed by one of the spirits that followed Lucifer.

Casting out the evil spirit may be all that is needed. For some reason this has recently become an underutilized solution to many problems.

Anonymous said...

Holy hell, Cindy. You are thick as a brick. This is SATIRE.

Anonymous said...

"She will not even be permitted to pay tithing."

The ultimate penalty. The horror!

Joe Dempsy said...

What I think we should be clear on is, it isnt the vast majoity of mormons that need to repent, but it is the vast majority of mormon women who need to repent from their sinful tempetation of our priesthood brethren, as our brother Warren recently demonstrated (though the court was Satans work).

Sister Daniels said...

Anonymous I have a feeling that Cindy may be better at parody then even the President himself. No offence President.

Rose said...

When I was in young woman's one of the older girls got pregnant and decided to keep the baby. She blatantly displayed her belly for all of us to see. I noticed that in the years following her having her baby several other young woman had babies out of wed-lock, choosing to raise them on their own. One girl even had her baby taken away by social services and her sister ended up raising it. If she had made the righteous choice to give her baby up for adoption and if her parent had been as loving and considerate as the parents in this account, by sending her away to have the baby, then maybe many lives could have been saved from unnecessary anguish.

Anonymous said...

I only just now stumbled onto this blog so I'm not familiar with the author and thus can't tell if this post is an honest one or subtle trolling.

It would be a tremendous breach of authority and counsel if a stake president threatened excommunication in a case like this. That, and the way other people in the narrative are said to be using guilt and confusion to sway the woman's decision while not also admitting to be guilty of doing the same thing makes me think this has to be a joke.

Right?

~Clint~ said...

Anon said: “It would be a tremendous breach of authority and counsel if a stake president threatened excommunication in a case like this.”

This woman would obviously not be repentant if she lived with this man to raise the child without being married, as this would clearly be a continuation of the sin of fornication.

The purpose of formal discipline is 3-fold as per the Church Handbook of Instructions (CHI):

1 -Save the Soul of the Transgressor
How can you save the soul of the transgressor when they are not showing a desire for repentance, and are seeking continuation of the serious sin they are charged with in the first place?
2- Protect the Innocent
As per the CHI “With inspiration, a priesthood leader should act to protect others when a transgressor poses a physical or spiritual threat … “ clearly the child is threatened spiritually by not being born into the covenant and having parents who are not even trying to correct their very serious sins
3- Safeguard the Integrity (and good name) of the Church
I think the specifics of how the Church and its members in good standing are being hurt have already been enumerated, so I will not expound any further on this issue.

Now, it is true that the disciplinary council (or council of love) seems to have a high degree of latitude judging such cases, but only as much latitude as is allowed by the CHI and promptings of the Spirit.

As to the other part of your question I will note a previous contributors reference to Poe's Law.

Poe's Law is an axiom suggesting that it's difficult to distinguish between parodies of religious fundamentalism and its genuine proponents, since they both seem equally insane.

I think the appropriate thing to note here is that nothing that our good “Stake President” has said is outside of the actual teachings of the LDS Church, so am I to understand that you are questioning this organization as having religious fundamentalism that appears to be insane?

Certainly many of us in the “One True Church” would be aghast at such a thought, and it would be clear indication of an issue with the person questioning since it is simply not possible for the organization or its divinely inspired leadership to be at fault in such matters.

Anonymous said...

This is one of the reasons I left the church. My mother was in the same situation this lady is in now. Instead of caving into what the bishop wanted, she chose to keep her baby. That baby is ME!

My mother is not an unfit parent, nor is my father!

How dare you suggest that unmarried, pregnant mothers, give their children up for adoption! That is cruel! More so if the mother WANTS to keep her baby, like in my mother's situation!

How can you sit there and even suggest that, it go against every thing that makes us human!

Anonymous said...

Sad to say, something similar happened in our stake. No satire here.

In this case, the father was a new convert and actually wanted to marry the 18 year old mother of his child.

But our stake president had him excommunicated and the mother was forced to give up her child to a more "worthy" couple.

The young convert father suffered a nervous breakdown over this, the young mother eventually married a returned missionary whom everyone deemed more worthy to be her husband.

Well, the heart wants what the heart wants.
This temple marriage did not work out due to her pining over her lost love and her lost child.

Three kids and one divorce later she was back in our town.

How many lives were ruined over some shitty SP trying to enforce the shitty Mormon guidelines on adoption , pardon my French.

Anonymous said...

After reading several of "Pres. Paternoster's" Blogs I think it is overtly obvious that this blog is a big fat phoney. HAHA the jokes on me, you had me going there for a little bit.

What is sad is that you cant honestly write about your problems with the church. You have to hide behind a fake name and use deception and subterfuge to complain. You are disgusting.

Anonymous said...

Huh?
He is teaching straight Mormon doctrine.

The Mormon church is fake and disgusting, claiming authority over others based on a phony book which has already been disproven by DNA.

Anonymous said...

This dude is not a stake president but an ex Mormon.

Anonymous said...

Please note that this blog is a fake. President Paternoster has been searched and is not a church leader in the LDS church. This is a made-up alias with the intent to mislead which uses a stolen altered picture of Ed Madden; a journalist for the Irish Medical Times (picture is flipped and hair is added).

See reference: http://www.imt.ie/opinion/2011/09/ruling-on-fixed-term-work-case.html

Brother Heber Creeper said...

Thank you for your insight, President

Roy said...

Stumbled across your blog looking for LDS adoption websites. Do you know if she has found an adoptive couple, yet, to take the baby? If not, we volunteer! We're an LDS family with 3 biological children so LDS family services won't help us unless we find our own birth mother. Please email to: royandangel@yahoo.com.

Anonymous said...

To be fair, none of the LDS resources linked are very similar to the situation depicted in this entry (i.e. a gainfully employed male adult willing to undertake a fatherly role).

Even though the church may overly emphasize the importance of marriage (particularly temple marriage) for the raising of children, I hesitate to be so cynical as to think that they would also encourage adoption in the situation depicted here. While I won't say that such insanity doesn't occur from time to time, I can't see the church officially encouraging adoption in such a circumstance. Your sources don't show that, at least.

Anonymous said...

I came across this blog while researching some things to prepare to go to the temple. I was raised in the church, and for a short time in my life I went through exactly what this young girl is going through. I fell in love with a nonmember man, and turned my back on my family and faith. I was left pregnant and felt like I would never be able to return to the church again. I went through everything alone, including not telling my family and giving birth to my little boy. I was about the same age as this woman, and there is nothing harder in life than feeling like you have disappointed everyone. My family found out three days after I gave birth, and I returned to church with my newborn. My Bishop said I should have given the baby up for adoption, and I would have NEVER considered giving up my little boy. It was a hard road for me, but after meeting a great LDS man I married him when my son was four, and we are preparing to go to the temple to be sealed as a family. I wanted to comment on this blog because I feel like you should know that the WORST thing you could do is to talk this young woman into giving her child up. I can't even imagine a life without my son. He is everything to me, and it would have been so hard to think about where he was and how he turned out if I had given him up for adoption. I can understand that this is good if that is what the woman wants, but to give her a guilt trip about how her family will look, that is horrible. We are taught to forgive, and love. If anything you should have talked with the family with her, and everyone's feelings, and rather talked about how we are NOT the ones to judge but rather we are taught to forgive. The Lord is the one to make that judgement. Her agency shouldn't be messed with, it is her choice to make. It is her life, and her baby. Why should her family get a say in that. Like I said my life has been blessed with my son. It has been a long road of forgiving myself and repenting but that is between no one but our Heavenly Father and myself. I feel sorry for this young woman, because I am sure she felt like everyone was judging her. I agree that the church should SUGGEST that adoption is a choice, but I think the way it was approached was extremly wrong! We should show love and support when people are going through trials, don't you think she was being hard on her self already, and didn't need anyone else to add to it. I hope this young woman made the choice that will be best for her and her child, and if she did decide to keep it I hope she is blessed and feels loved no matter what!

Anonymous said...

At 19 I went through something very simmiler I got pregnant but my situation was different I was raped and I was told it away fault and I had to give my son up for adoption but when I prayed it Just didn't feel right to me so I kept him and to this day people still tell me I should have given him up even my own family yells at me every day because he doesn't have a father and my son is now 3 and I. recently had some one from my word come over and he said that he has a son and daughter in law that can't have kids and they are looking to adopt and its not to late to give up my son because that's the only way I can be saved. needless to say I stopped going to that word and started going to a small branch whom the president is some one that I have known,my whole life and has supported me with keeping my son

Anonymous said...

Yeah, because religious people never do anything wrong, or make mistakes. It's all just fear controlling the weak of mind, a church ousting you instead of supporting you shows they aren't accepting. God doesn't exist, people's evil intentions do.

Adoption situation said...

Everybody makes mistakes, she can solve this problem by finding adoptive parents.

Anonymous said...

You all assume that she gave informed consent to sexual activity. The situation wherein the child was conceived is not explained, nor should it be. Perhaps she was under the influence of alcohol, drugs, legal prescribed pain killers, hypnosis, or some other factor wherein she might have sex.

What you all also dismiss is the huge population of children in foster care, where the government has two heavy hands in a process similar to this.

As a person about to adopt a foster child (not a baby or toddler), I have seen the difficulties this child has been through in the process of being removed from her mother's home, court, visitations, etc. I for one would rather have unwed parents receive counsel from their/his/her clergy, whom they likely trust more than many government officials, than have the government step in later.

I don't believe "Mormonism" is a cult as stated above. Many countries have recognized "Mormonism" as a legitimate religion, including Italy, which still takes cues from the Roman-Catholic religion.

Anonymous said...

The Mormon church does a very swift job of separating natural, unwed parents from their child, even mothers who are not Mormon and have no stake in loosing their church membership or eternal salvation. I speak from experience, the father of my child was Mormon and was pressured to convince me not to have an abortion. I was then pressured into adoption. Oh but we found a really nice couple who agreed to an open adoption. Well that was short lived. When the child was sealed to them in the temple they swiftly moved and letters went unanswered. And in their minds the broken promises they made to get that baby, well, I guess they think it's ok because the church deems them righteous and deserved and God wanted them to have my child.

Danielle Barnsley-Cervo said...

I want to think this site is parody. That this post is parody, but this whole post, right down to the bullshit lines about fatherless children was my experience as an unwed, unexpected pregnant girl in the church. All of it.

The Mormon church is a coercive devil who loves to shame women, and give no fucks about a father's rights. They claim they are all about the family, but they'll do anything in this situation to split a family up just to save face. Adoption is a life long decision, and it's not the glorious decision the Mormon church makes it out to be. It's a tough road, even if you weren't coerced or shamed into it.

Anonymous said...

First off Mormons are the most judgemental bastards on this planet. I'm sick of hearing Mormons say what would you do if god was here? I have tattoos and every Mormon judges me and assumes I'm a bad guy or some shit. If God was here would you judge someone on front of him?? No you wouldn't cause God says love one as another or something like that. I know so many children that have grew up with out dad's in the picture and they come out and are amazing young good kids and there mom is lds just because they have unprotected sex doesn't mean they can raise a child on there own. Your supposed to make people feel welcome and support there choices and help them not make them give up there kids. Really think about it. Why did God put us on this planet?? To control someone's decisions like a cult would? No to learn from our mistakes and learn from them? So I completely disagree with this LDS president

Anonymous said...

I'm SOO glad I left this ridiculous religion. I was an RM and 6th generation so in deep but luckily came to my senses and got out. I started studying what really happened and it all clicked. Best thing I ever did. Imagine counseling a mother that can easily provide for child to give him/her up for adoption. It created lots of psychological problems for both parent and child for the rest of their life. I think so much clearer now and I'm way happier after leaving. I'm a much better person now. I was fooled into the lie and lived it for a long time until I was 23 but in my defense I was raised in it. But I learned a lot of things about life and myself along the way so its all good.

Anonymous said...

My daughter, who is NOT a Mormom but grew up in a Protestant home where unconditional love and forgiveness were taught, became pregnant almost 16 years ago by a "man" who later became Mormom. He deserted my daughter, encouraged her to have an abortion and left her on her own. Fortunately, my daughter's strong faith reminded her that all life is valued by God and she decided to keep her daughter, who is now a beautiful and talented 16-year old. My granddaughter's "father", as I mentioned, later married a Mormon woman and became Mormon. He fathered 4 more children with this woman whom he considers his "chosen" and "heavenly" children. He tells my granddaughter, who loves him dearly, that she is NOT his "chosen" and that to him she is dead. How can a man who claims to be of God say that to one of his children? I just don't understand logic...or belief! I do know, however, that God will offer him forgiveness when he decides to repent for the unholy treatment of his daughter, who, despite the circumstances of her conception, is still a child of God.