Monday, May 28, 2012

President Paternoster's Swimwear Edition

Many Stake President’s the world over have thanked me for my blog letting me know that they not only read it, but also take great counsel and inspiration from the words found therein.  President Wong from Canada recently asked me how I get my members to dress appropriately in the summer.  This question was very timely and I will share with him and all blog readers the following letter that recently proceeded forth from the mouth of the three presiding high priests of our Stake: 

To the beloved sisters and young women of our blessed Stake in Ireland,

In our many years of experience in the Church we have found that as the warmer weather approaches the sisters are often tempted to disregard the counsel of Church leaders with regards to beach and swim wear.  This has caused many a priesthood holder to, as the Saviour put it “look upon them with lust” and/or “commit adultery with them in their hearts”.  You will have all heard by now that Bishop Keane requested to be released following the ward picnic at a beach in the Dingle Peninsula last year.  In his address to the ward he mentioned that the form fitting swimsuits had caused him to view several of the sisters in a way that would not be in keeping with the spirit of the Lord.  Fortunately Bishop Keane repented and has recently accepted a position on the Stake High Council with specific responsibility over the singles ward. 

In the October 2001 General Conference Bishop H. David Burton quoted the “For the Strength of Youth” pamphlet saying:
“We need to stand tall in following the counsel of the prophets to attire ourselves modestly. Immodest clothing includes short shorts and skirts, tight [form-fitting] clothing, shirts that do not cover the stomach, and other revealing attire.”

When shopping for swim and beach wear one may wonder how to do so all the while heeding the counsel of the brethren to avoid clothes that show the shape of the body (otherwise known as form fitting clothes).

Thankfully we as your stake leaders have researched the issue in order to provide more clarity. The first thing we wish to clarify is that bikinis are extremely displeasing unto the Lord.  In fact from the Church’s official website we learn that bikinis are so evil that we should not even allow our children to dress their dolls in such a demeaning fashion.  This was shown in the article entitled “Trying to be like Jesus Christ” in the Friend magazine, quoted below:

“When I was seven years old, my friend and I were playing with our dolls. We decided to take them swimming with us. I didn’t have my doll’s swimsuit with me. My friend thought my doll could just swim in her bikini. I remembered that when my mom and I had bought the doll, we’d agreed that the bikini was only for wearing under her clothes. I decided to go home and get her one-piece swimsuit. When I came back, my friend and I had a great time. I’m glad that I chose the right.”
Often people of the world try to influence the righteous to wear bikinis.  Adults and children alike can learn much from how this eight year old handled the following situation:
“I was at my friend’s house when we decided to go swimming. I hadn’t brought a swimming suit, so I needed to borrow one of hers. Her mom gave me a bikini. I told her I did not want to wear that kind of swimming suit. So she found a different one for me to wear. I’m glad I followed one of My Gospel Standards: “I will dress modestly to show respect for Heavenly Father and myself.”

The key principle to remember when purchasing swimwear is to avoid any and all variations that are form fitting.  As a Stake Presidency we took the time to research the available options.  We were pleased to learn that there are plenty of modest options available.  To avoid any confusion we are including the below photos with our observations. Please use this as your guide when shopping.

We found the below swimsuit to be inappropriate in that it shows the shape and curves of the sisters body in a manner that would be displeasing unto the Lord.  We also noted that contrary to the counsel of Church leaders she has disfigured her body with tattoos and has failed to cover them.  My second counselor President Price also pointed out that this outfit along with her red nails may actually send out the wrong message to any brethren who may be at the beach at the same time as her.  As a Stake Presidency we uniformly agreed that this outfit would be unappealing to all worthy priesthood holders.

At first looks the below swimsuit seems modest but as my first counselor President McRomney pointed out the outfit is in fact just as form fitting as the one in the above photo.

The below photo is what we as a Stake Presidency recommend.  It is both attractive & wholesome.  It will not interfere with swimming and most importantly it meets the Lord's requirement of not being form fitting.  This and other wonderful swimwear can be purchased directly from 

As a Stake Presidency we promise that as sisters follow the Saviour by complying with the dress codes given by the brethren in Salt Lake City, Utah, they will be blessed with stronger testimonies and an added measure of the spirit of the Lord. 

Sincerely yours,

President William Lilburn Godfrey Paternoster
President J. Marvin McRomney
President Percy P. Price


Anonymous said...

Thank you so much President for reminding me that the lust I feel at the public pool is brought on by women who do not follow your inspired council. If all women acted upon your guidance - us worthy priesthood holding swimmers wouldn't need to struggle in order to keep our thoughts clean while enjoying the pleasures of swimming on these hot summer days.

Anonymous said...

This is so confusing because the unappealing swimming suit makes me feel so good all over when I ponder over it. And like it says in Alma 32 "It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul".

Goldarn said...

The way I sunburn, I think the second suit is best for me, and I'm a man!

Anonymous said...


This is NOT a website sanctioned by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Nor is "President Paternoster" a stake president within the Church. Rather, this site is farce, and [usually] not good farce, at that.

Most of the posts here are written by quasi-apostates who mock those who are sincerely striving, albeit imperfectly, to follow Jesus.

Caveat utilitor.

Samuel the Lame'innit said...

I whole heartedly agree with this post. However, I believe you failed to address the male members of your congregation in your introduction. No matter, the main body of your post is suitable for a male audience. In fact, I believe that our female sisters would benefit if their male counterparts also wore the 'skirted-b' bathing suite while at the beach.

One more note. I see that the 'modest' model's hair is uncovered. I fear that some priesthood holders may find this alluring. Wouldn't a swimming cap also be Godly?

believing sister said...

To Anonymous Gideon:

You say that this blog is farce. If that were true, it would change how I feel about it.... But how can you tell? It sounds so very much like several real LDS stake presidents I have known. What are the specific clues? What does President Paternoster say that a real stake president would not, and what would a real stake president say instead?

I would like to believe you, but this just sounds too convincing for me to think you're right. Is that what makes it not very good farce--the fact that it's so like what you say it's mocking?

Or maybe you are the one who is mocking the Lord's anointed. If so, where do you get off calling the Lord's truth farce?

Anonymous said...

@ Believing Sister: I suppose you're right. "Farce" is not the correct word.

In the end, I suppose my raison d'être on this site is to ensure that the naive are not confused as to whether this site is, in fact, representative of the thoughts of a stake president.

I'll try something different.

Anonymous said...


This is NOT a website sanctioned by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Nor is "President Paternoster" a stake president within the Church. Rather, the content of this site varies from farce to pointed criticism [which is, at times, painfully accurate].

Many, but not necessarily all, of the posts are written in mockery of those who are sincerely striving, albeit imperfectly, to follow Jesus.

Caveat utilitor.

Anonymous said...


This is NOT a website sanctioned by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Nor is "President Paternoster" a stake president within the Church. Rather, this site usually consists of farce and/or [somewhat painfully pointed] criticism.

Many of the posts are written in mockery of those who are sincerely striving, albeit imperfectly, to follow Jesus.

Caveat utilitor.

Monson the Younger said...

Anon Gideon;

I am concerned that you may be correct that some of the quotes from LDS sources mentioned on this site were meant as a farce. I was not aware that the Church made such comments in its publications

Perhaps it would be helpful to those following the blog if you would point out which quotes were intended a a farce?

Thank you in advance for your assistance in helping me understand the intended nature of our LDS leaders comments.

A Lowly Sister in the One True Church said...

Dear President Paternoster,
It is so inspiring, and even a little flattering that so many men who hold the high and holy calling of Bishop, Stake President, and even Apostle to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ take the time to examine the dress and style of the daughters of Zion in this scrupulous fashion. While I would never, as a woman, aspire to one of these callings, I so appreciate that those who do merit the favor of the Lord are willing to intercede in my behalf at the throne of the Great Jehovah in order to return and report to me what I ought to wear. I never thought to receive such assiduous attention from those whose plates must be full to overflowing with so many cares and concerns for the poor and needy and wretched people of this world.

For some reason this topic reminds me of the abominable Disney show (with which those of you in the British Isles may not be familiar) "The Hunchback of Notre Dame." I was so disgusted by their portrayal of a supposed man of God as a lust-driven madman who was obsessed with the body of that disgustingly sensuous gypsy dancer, Esmerelda. Of course, as a Catholic Priest, he is of the Church of the Devil, so there really is no comparison. God's profits in these latter days really seem to care nothing for the lusts of the flesh, but are "pure as the driven snow" in their thoughts and actions. (It literally gives me chills to even imagine them being intimate with their wives, much less, lovely young women wearing immodest clothing.)

Anyway, it gives me hope as I consider the amount of time and effort spent discussing this topic by the Brethern that soon their attention will be turned to the other pressing matters of this world. The children whose parents cannot afford to feed them more than 1 meal a day, those who have to walk miles for clean water, children who are being abused by friends, neighbors and even at times, their own parents must be so grateful to know that those who love the Lord enough to notice the fall of the sparrow (or in this case, the cut of womens' swimwear) may soon turn the all-seeing eye to their plight.

I recently lost a substantial amount of weight, and as I am about the size I was in high school I am often tempted to succumb to worldly standards and dress in ways that show my attractive curves, but I know that the Lord loves me, and does not want me to degrade my sacred procreative powers by trying to attract the attention of anyone except the one man I someday hope to share time, eternity (and the sacred marriage bed) with.

Thank you President and your faithful counselors for giving me hope that there are still men in this lone and dreary wilderness who revere women and their sacred position in the home.
Yours in the Gospel,

A Lowly Sister in the One True Church said...

Dear President,

I seem to have gotten carried away in my enthusiasm for your original posting. Please excuse the length of my former comment, Presient. Perhaps I should start my own blog. Of course, I am only joking, as a lowly sister could have nothing of interest to say to anyone. I will content myself with admiring and supporting the spirit and righteous intent of this blog and it's wonderful perpetrator, President Paternoster.

Anonymous said...

Re: my amended caveat. Sorry about posting it twice.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous Gideon... I think your first ammendment is spot on. I vote for you to use that in the future.

Verle Jensensen said...

Are you sure you have permission to post the top photo?
I do believe it's my apostate daughter Beverly Jean. This very same photo was sent with her 2011 Christmas card.
Beverly Jean has no morals whatsoever, and needless to say, we do not speak.

Cindy said...

I never thought about having a bathing suit that covers up so much I have to admit it really makes sense. It will protect you better from the sun anyways. It's important, as the ensign articles you featured showed, to teach our kids while they are young to have the standards we want them to have when they are older. Always dressing in a way that would cover up your garments, no matter what your age or if you are already endowed or not, will help to keep not only your body clean but you mind also. Sometimes the wearing of a regular bathing suit can cause someone to be a little more relaxed in their mannerisms then they normally would be. The temptation to welcome and even attract inappropriate attention can be overwhelming when dressed in formfitting and revealing clothing and that definitely includes most bathing suits. Thank you for the link you provided in this blog. I'm so glad to know there are other options out there.

Mahonri Kimball said...

Pres. P;

I have been studying the first picture intently and pondering, but I don't feel that I have come to a full understanding of all that there is to know on this subject.

In the interest of helping me obtain further light and knowledge, perhaps you could provide several additional pictures of swimsuits that we should discourage the young women in our wards from wearing.

As one who presides, and assists the Lord in giving swimsuit advice to many women, I feel that I should know as much as possible about this matter.

Anonymous said...

I was just looking at the 2011 "men on a mission" calendar...

Please please tell me this is appropriate.

Anonymous said...

nice idea.. thanks for posting..

Linds said...

President P,
The only thing is that the lady's head is still uncovered, and some men may find a woman's neck/ hair or even face to be sensual. If we sisters are really going to help our men control their thought, perhaps we should follow the examples of the Muslims. I think they have it right! Women should go swimming a full hijab- perhaps even a burca! We need to protect these poor, innocent men from impure thoughts that our evil, curvacious bodies bring.

Sister B

Anonymous said...

Does anyone else feel that the Spirit is lost when Anonymous Gideon starts spreading contention here? President Paternoster should be commended for his forthrightness and firm following of the Brethren's counsel for us to all live the gospel. I'm terribly sorry President P. that this Anonymous Gideon is trying to hurt the gospel so much. Thank you so much for your blog.

Anonymous said...

The idea of dressing dolls in lose fitting clothes also is to be commended.

Moreover,I find it hard to believe that righteous LDS parents would allow their children to have Barbie dolls in the first place.

There should be no thoughts of fashion and/or mall shopping awakened in the minds of our young sisters in Zion.

Instead, let their hearts ever be turned toward serving the Lord and their husbands by being vessels for as many children as they can bear.

There is no salvation in following the fashions of the world.
Perhaps a return to the Deseret Costume is in order, which was approved by Brigham Young and the Retrenchment Society.

Faithfully yours,
Emilia Young

Anonymous said...


It is, as always, so reassuring that you and the Brethren insert yourselves into our lives and help to control us. I am quite sure I would not know what to do if called upon to think for myself.

As a man, I could use a bit of help to know what kind of swimwear I should wear. I am 6 feet tall, about one stone overweight--maybe somewhat more--and am developing "old man's legs." As my stake president, I ask you to advise me before I go out into the public.

Too ashamed to give my name said...

I have a problem I need some advice on. I am a woman and I like to wear shoes that show a bit of toe cleavage. Is this wrong? Am I causing the righteous brethren in my ward to sin in their hearts when their gazes glance over my shapely calfs and come to rest on my toe cleavage? Am I breaking the law of chastity? Can I still get a temple recommend? My husband wears thigh high patent leather boots with laces under his suit , which, he tells me is because he wants to be super modest. I admire him for this . Do I deserve such a righteous priesthood holder when I wear such revealing footwear? I'm quite ill with the worry of it all. Please help me.

Anonymous said...

Dear president,

Thank you for your explanations and enlighten words. I'll make sure to spread your words to my beloved brothers and sisters. Keep doing your wonderful works and thanks so much!

Anonymous said...

Dearest President,

I am new to your congregation and have been so pleased and inspired as I read the words you send to the flock. I do have one concern, however, with the modesty of the recommended swimwear. Growing up in Zion's Bosom, even in the shadow of the Everlasting Hills, I was taught two piece bathing suits are clearly immodest. I believe the only bathing wear that should be worn is what the church has provided for use in the water.

It is one piece, and clearly pleasing in design and function, provided by the Brethren for use in the water. It is even the preferred color of heaven! I and my daughters have covenanted to wear only such celestial outfits when at the beach, pool, or any other activity involving water.

Anonymous said...

Dear President,
We are currently vacationing at the beach in Brazil. My beautiful Brazilian bride is wearing something called "fio dental". I don't know what the lord thinks about it..... But I like it!

Brother Luis C. Ferr

Anonymous said...

I am in full agreement with brother M. Kimball ~ I too would like to more examples of the swim suits depicted in the first photo so that I may fully and completely educate myself in the gentile practice.

Elder Joseph Hiram Walker Smith, IX
Stake City, UT

steffdeck said...

Anonymous said...
Dear President,
We are currently vacationing at the beach in Brazil. My beautiful Brazilian bride is wearing something called "fio dental". I don't know what the lord thinks about it..... But I like it!

Brother Luis C. Ferr

Brother Ferr,

Could you take some pictures of this swimwear your wife is wearing and forward to us for inspection? We can then assure you that you are living up to the standards of the church. I am not sure what "fio dental" is myself so a review is definitely in order.

We look forward to your response,

Steff Deck

Anonymous said...



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Anonymous said...

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Hey Brother Paternoster, are you doing okay?

Anonymous said...

I note that not only is the first model tattooed, it is the Chinese character for mouse that adorns her arm. Is she, perhaps, advertising to all men that she is a vermin and they should stay away from her? Even when she isn't wearing sinful swimwear, she still carries this warning for all men to plainly see.

Anonymous said...

Hey President. Thanks for your inspiring counsel. I'm still a little confused on what constitutes an immodest swimsuit. Can you post more pictures of examples of immodest swimwear? I just want to make sure I thoroughly understand correct principles.

Anonymous said...

! La chica del bañador está muy,muy buena!

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Anonymous said...

I'll fuck all of them even the ugly one on the last picture

Anonymous said...

So god says we have to dress a certain way? So free will is out? This sounds more like slavery then free will. I did some research seems god made us naked at birth. No clothes. The person who wrote the is piece is really working for hell. The body he is saying is evil and not to be trusted. So in fact he is saying god is wrong. And here is the fault in all religions people wrote what they perceived as gods word in all religious writing men not god. Go out into the forest meet God for the first time.Never have I seen him in a man made building. But I have in the wild. said...

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