Friday, August 10, 2012

President Paternoster Reaches out to the Ex-Mormon

It recently came to my attention that one or two who have left the faith read and draw inspiration from my blog.  In an effort to leave the ninety and nine it is to these precious souls that I address my remarks today. 

My dearly beloved Ex-Mormon Brother or Sister,
Nothing concerns me more than to see those who were once stalwart in the faith shrink in the face of adversity.  I want you to know that as a Stake President I understand your plight.  Your path to loneliness and confusion likely started out with something simple, like finding out that Joseph Smith owned a special stone.  This threw you into a whirlwind of doubt where Satan carefully brought you down to the gulf of despair and misery that you now endure.  As a lonely cynic you are now left with one option; to kick against the pricks, to persecute the saints, and fight against God.  You who thus struggle are in the throes of spiritual agony, drowning as it were in a sea of guilt and despair, seeking desperately for the safety of the gospel that had served as your anchor in the past. 
And yet from this month’s *Ensign we learn that “all members of the Church at some time in their lives face moments that test the sincerity and strength of their testimonies.  Braving these trials of our faith helps us stand firm in a world that is falling more and more into the depths of confusion.” 
In my vast experience as a leader in the Lord’s Kingdom I have seen and will now reveal to you the main difference between those who fail in their testimonies and those who hold tight to the iron rod.  It is that the Ex-Mormon had their hearts set so much upon the teachings and philosophies of this world that they did not understand this one principle; that you do not receive a witness until after the trial of your faith. 
Those of us who did not succumb to the fiery darts of the adversary when our faith was tested took the correct steps as given in the *Ensign, which are as follows: “when the righteous are troubled, their first reflex is to search the scriptures and the words of the living prophets.”  We learn from the article that the writings of the prophets “are beacons that (much like my blog) cannot deceive us.”
As an Ex Mormon you looked to other sources for answers.  In time you lost your faith. Eventually you stopped attending Church meetings.  You no longer prayed or pondered the scriptures daily.  You allowed your temple recommend to expire.  And sooner or later Satan whispered in your ear that there was no God, and you believed.  You now make fun of the Church, the people still in it and those things which you once held sacred. 
You can be seen drinking in the pubs, shopping on the Sabbath and without the guidance of the Holy Spirit you have likely lost your moral compass and are engaged in all manner of iniquities and lasciviousness.  Oh that cunning plan of Satan.  He seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.
But I say unto you in that great day when you shall be brought to stand before the Lamb of God—then will you say that there is no God?  Then will you say that the Church which only tried to help you was cultish, controlling and manipulative?  Will you continue to complain before the Lamb of God that His Church, the one and only true Church upon the face of the earth, used its sacred funds to build a shopping mall?   Will you dare counsel the Lord saying “Lord we should have used those billions to feed the hungry and clothe the naked”?  Will you whine and complain that those who suffered from same sex attraction should have been treated with more respect and dignity in the Church; yea will you say this to the one who suffered and died for the very sins which they have committed?  Will you say “Lord, there was no evidence that the gospel was true”, after the many miracles He hath bestowed upon you?
Nay I say unto you that you will tremble before Him and would that you could vanish from His very presence.  And in that day you will know that you have not lived up to the covenants you made with him in the temple on that day, and you will be in Satan’s power.  And if in that day with fear and trembling you raise your eyes heavenward towards me, even President Paternoster, I want you to know that I did my best to warn and exhort you. 
Yet there is still time - there is still hope.  I invite you now to return and enjoy the blessing of becoming a faithful tithe payer once again.  I invite you to spend your Sabbaths away from the beach - joyfully attending the three hour block of meetings that have been prepared to uplift and edify your soul.  I invite you to confess your sins in all detail to loving priesthood leaders.  And I promise that in the due time of the Lord when you have sufficiently humbled yourselves before the priesthood of God you will once again be permitted to attend the temple where sisters will be reminded of their sacred duty to obey their husbands and all will be clothed in the holy garments of the priesthood,
Your humble servant even President Paternoster


Anonymous said...


This is NOT a website sanctioned by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Nor is "President Paternoster" a stake president within the Church. Rather, the content of this site varies from farce to pointed criticism [which is, at times, painfully accurate].

Many, but not necessarily all, of the posts are written in mockery of those who are sincerely striving, albeit imperfectly, to follow Jesus.

Caveat utilitor.

TGD said...

Anonymous Gideon, I can not take it on faith to just believe you. I need proof of what you claim, that President Paternoster is not a Stake President.

I have found great solace and comfort in the words he as given to all of us in this blog. I wish he could be everyone's stake president. And by virtue of the Internet, it's virtually possible now.

postmormongirl said...

Yes - I WILL say that to the (hypothetical) Lord. And be damn proud of my stance!

Although I am awe of you as a Stake President, oh mighty voice of the One True Church. :)

Austin Mabry said...


Do not be deceived by the deceiver, Anonymous Gideon, who would have you believe that this blog is not ordained of God. The deceiver seeks to undermine the word of the Lord's own true church upon the earth. Do not allow him to deceive you. You must have faith that the words of this blog are His word.

President Paternoster is a man of God, and acting in accordance with Gospel principles, seeking to spread wisdom and gospel truths. Many, but not necessarily all, of the posts written come from direct revelation, and are intended to bring imperfect souls unto Christ.

Caveat utilitor.

a lowly sister in the one true church said...

Just the other day I stopped in unannounced on a sweet single sister like me who I am assigned to befriend. She and her three small children used to regularly attend church for all three hours, as well as primary activity days, homemaking, I mean, "home, family, and personal enrichment night) scout , auctions, etc. Now they are never seen even for sacrament meeting. When i expressed to her the loving desire her ward family has for her to return to the bosom of the fold, she said some very caustic, hurtful words regarding her ex-husband (who is still a member of our branch presidency since their divorce.) I told her that we should not speak ill of the Lord's anointed. Obviously this woman has been offended and in typical fashion can leave the church but cannot leave it alone. How sad. I will continue to pray for her, and drop in unexpectedly in a loving attempt to reclaim a precious lamb, even the lost coin of the savior who loves us and dusts in the corners to find us when we hide from his loving ministrations.

Chris J said...

Thank you President... I have been a reader of your blog for some time now. Your testimony has pierced my corrupted soul. I'm tired of kicking against the pricks. Nothing can stop this work from progressing. I join my testimony with yours and echo President Monson's by saying 1,2,3.... "Let's Go Shopping".

mahonri kimball said...

Dear President P;

Either you, or, I am confused. Given that your priesthood is "greater" than mine, it must be me.

I still must say though that I don't know to whom these remarks are addressed. All of the comments to your inspired blog seem to come from genuine true believers in the one and only true Church on the face of the Earth with with God is pleased. (I suppose Annon. Gideon could be the one exception)

Are your remarks addressed only to A. Gideon?, or are there lurking apostates who don't comment on your wise words?

Anonymous said...

He sounds like a homosexual who isn't concerned about the starving people.

James said...

Anonymous Gideon, I'll bet you can't prove President Paternoster isn't a Stake President.

If you can't prove he's not a Stake President, then he must be one, and you should repent in sack-cloth and ashes.

reformed egyptian said...

Presodent, thank you for showing me that my concern over The Great and Spacious Mall (TGASM) is unfounded. As you noted, one day I will have to stand before my lord and savior, even Jesus Christ, and because of your words he will tell me: "when I was hungry you fed me, and when I was ill clothed you clothed me.". i will answer "when did i feed and clothe you?"

He will answer "like, there was that time at the Coach store, you totally hooked me up with amazing accessories. And then at that expensive steak place you served me the most amazing beef (good think im all powerful though, because the wine selection was weak. But you lept bringing me water craffes which i made in to the most exquisite cabernet.)"

Its good to know that by serving my credit card debt I am also serving the lord.

Anonymous said...

Here's more truth, specifically about the temple ceremony being posted to YouTube, and footage of Romney in the temple on the way...

Anonymous said...

Thank you president! Each time, your words bring me back to the right path. I know you're a real president called from God. I saw some previous poster who doubt your words. People are often lack of faith and can't use the holy ghost to distinguish the good. I know your words are true. Keep enlighting us with your wisdom. Thank you!

Anonymous said...

You wouldn't even have to feed starving people with those billions of dollars the new mall cost.

Just use tithing money to send free birth control into overpopulated areas.

If you only send food, you will have more people to feed in 15 years or less.

Instead of feeding people fish, teach them to phuk correctly by using birth control.

Anonymous said...

*Gasp* Anonymous poster from 8/13 8:54 PM - your words offend me! Clearly you have not watched/listened to/re-enacted Saturday's Warriors. Overpopulation is Satan's lie. God has given us a sacred duty to populate and replenish the earth; a command given to Adam and Eve and passed down through the generations.
God has not seen fit to revoke that decree (well, at least not until his prophet receives political pressure to ponder and pray on such matters).

On a side note, it marvels me that God and His many wives could birth so many spirit bodies when it takes billions of us mere mortal bodies to accomplish the same task. I wonder if the Spirit gestation period is shorter or if they have octuplets all the time. hmmm
~A Nonymous Wan

tweedmeister said...

Note to "Anonymous Gideon": President Paternoster is a True Stake President of CoJCoLdS, and president of the only True Stake. I encourage you to heed his word. There is no mockery here. If you would like mockery, please refer to the dangerously anti-Mormon website,, where mockery is a way of life.

Alison said...

Dear President Paternoster,

I'd like to express my appreciation of this blog. I discovered it last week, and have whiled away many a pleasant hour reading the inspired entries and particularly the comments. Of the two stake presidents whose writings I regularly peruse, you are a freakin' raging wildfire compared to a birthday candle.


Anonymous said...

I realise this is satire, but this satire is now becoming so unbelieveable, it's actually believeable. Once that line is crossed its no longer satire, its fan fiction.

Jason H. Smith said...

Dear, sweet, brother or sister Tweedmeister, you should surely know better than to recommend inappropriate websites, like

I hereby urge anyone, who is seriously interested in the gospel to stay away from these spiritually deadening propoganda organs, which have very little to do with the living gospel, in all its visionary and cosmic glory: the like of which Joseph Smith Jun., the Pratt brothers, Cleon Skousen, Hugh Nibely and many others, have been so interested in discerning and sharing, through their noble and valent tesimonies.

The only disturbing thing is that so many well intentioned members believe Pres. Paternoster is the real deal. The photo, alone, is a dead give-away: it's all hidden in plain veiw. And if that isn't enough go to the source of all modern propoganda: and look him up: he is not the man that you think he is.

Sadly, the purifying principle of baptism has degenerated into washing your mind, as well.

TGD said...

Dear, 317dba00-7599-11e0-9ab8-000bcdcb2996, and Jason H. Smith,

I don't see how this is satire or fan fiction or how you could say that Pres. Paternoster isn't the real deal? Do you have any examples and sources to back up your hypothesis?

Everything he has talked about, everything he as presented here has been researched and presented with honesty and inspiration.

Some of the comments made here seem to be over the top and make jokes as if this blog is satire. But I know in my heart, based on the many things that have been presented here by Pres. Paternoster, that it is all the real deal. I grew up in this religion, I know the things he speaks are true.

I've been through hell and back in the last few years and his words of wisdom on this blog have been inspiring and helpful.

Jason H. Smith said...

You've got to be kidding me! Just go to and see if you can trace him being called as a stake president, through the newsroom, within the last twenty years.

The man is condemning the mind control absurdities, that the Church adopts, on a number of very important issues, by quoting them, verbatim.

TGD said...

Oh Jason, mind control is only what you believe it is.

Many of us who know the true mind and heart of Pres. Paternoster, know that our mind isn't being deceived or under any sort of control by him or the LDS church. We choose to be here.

I'm sure there is a simple explanation as to why his name isn't listed via the newsroom website. Human error takes place even in the LDS organization. It's people are not perfect.

Jason H. Smith said...

Yep, that's got to be the explanation. Thank you, TGD, for showing me the error of my ways. I feel both humbled and enlightened.... President Patnernoster's words of love and wisdom have had their desired effect, upon you.

I do hope that you both will find time to come down and visit me, in the spirit world, so I can be uplifted further by your fine words and testimonies?

NeverMo Mike said...

Dear PP:

Since you seem to understand Ex-Mormons so well, can you can help me, a NeverMo, understand the "logic" of Ex-Mormons better? For after talking with one or two Ex-Mormons over the past 20 years, I've observed that, in the main, they jump from one extreme to another in what they believe. (From "the frying pan into fire" as we say in the States.)

You may have serendipitously already given me some insight into this with your keen observations that Ex-Mormons are Ex-Mormons, not "former Mormons."

There is a saying here in the States among a branch of our armed forces that "Once a Marine, always a Marine." Consistent with this, former Marines never refer to themselves as "former Marines" but rather as an "Ex-Marines." They have been taught lessons and a way of life they will never forgot. And so I think it may be with Ex-Mormons, whether their service was voluntary or not. While they have gladly and happily gone AWOL (left the Mormon church), they still think like Mormons at heart.

For example, your example of Satan's temptation: An Ex-Mormon has learned that Joseph Smith was not a true prophet of God. But from that truth, they took a quantum leap of faith to say "There is no God."

Please correct me if I'm wrong, President P, but to reason from "Joseph is not a true prophet" to "there is no God" seems illogical.

I'm only an engineer who never did well with abstract logic. But it seems to me that all one can conclude logically when they learn that Joseph Smith was not a true prophet is that 1) Joseph is not a true prophet; 2) The Book of Mormon is not true and 3) the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day saints is not true. (Since, as your leaders have said "Either the Book of Mormon is what the Prophet Joseph said it is, or this Church and its founder are false, a deception from the first instance onward.")

Just because Joseph isn't a true prophet doesn't mean no one can be a true prophet or that true prophets haven't (or don't) exist. Indeed, to say definitively God does not exist is not logical and cannot be proved. At best, one should be agnostic about it.

Anyone who claims to be a prophet outside the Mormon church (like Mohamad, for example, who also claimed to be visited by an angel about writing a book) must be examined individually. On his merits he either stands or falls.

Continued ...

NeverMo Mike said...

But, even as a NeverMo, I think I can understand the psyche of Ex-Mormons, again thanks to your keen insight, Mr. President.

I can imagine how, if one were born and raised believing all their life that they were in the "one true church" that, when they find out that isn't true, they might make an emotion (irrational leap, saying "Well, if this isn't true, then nothing is true."

But that would be like taking a multiple choice test, getting the wrong answer and concluding "Well, if Answer C isn't true, then none of the answers are true." But Answer C has no bearing on the viability of the other answers offered on the test.

But I'm glad Ex-Mormons are cynics. They will not be fooled again. Although I notice some of them tend to quote Wikipedia about things like evolution, as though Wikipedia were the gospel truth. And they tend to rile at everything the Mormon church teaches, so strong is their revulsion to the church. (But, surely, not everything the not true church teaches is patently false, is it?)

I am encouraged that if they find the truth, they will really be true believers indeed. (Not like "Santa Clause christians" who really are no different than Mormons.)

And I liked your last statement President Paternoster. I want you to know that I did my best to warn and exhort you.

Anonymous said...

NeverMo Mike:

You're begging the question here. Do the Ex-Mormons who stop believing in God really think that Joseph Smith not being a prophet means there is no deity? I tend not to think so. Keep in mind that not all Ex-Mormons stop believing in God or gods.
It is certainly true that for a Mormon it is difficult to distinguish your ideas of God from the LDS Church itself. That makes it easier to critically examine the concept of God after the Church has lost its truthfulness in your mind. That was true in my case. It is not illogical to shine the same flashlight of skepticism you use on the Mormon church on your own notion of God, Christianity, buddhism, communism or any other belief system out there. In fact, it is very logical indeed.

Pablo said...

Apoc.19:20,Jeremias 14:14. Presidente Paternoster,la ley del diezmo pertenece a la ley mosaica.En el N.Testamento no hay que pagar diezmo."Le invito a confesar sus pecados y a arrepentirse"Usted está en poder de Satanas por enseñar doctrina falsa.El Templo para los masones.La sangre de Cristo nos libera.

Anonymous said...

The thing I find most illuminating now being an Ex Mormon for quite some time, is that people like NeverMo are quick to point out LDS faults and inaccuracies, contradictions etc within their historical truth claims but ignore their own.

I wouldn't quite agree with your statement that Ex Mormons are cynical, but that for many of us, we have become skeptical and use reason and evidence as our guide in determining what to believe in.

Once you realize the Bible itself is full of contradictions and historical inaccuracies, written largely by anonymous authors - it's not that hard at all to see how an Ex Mormon can go from Joseph Smith is a Prophet of God to -- well perhaps, just maybe there is no God at all. At least there is no evidence to suggest there is.

Anonymous said...

I have been struggling with my testimony for two years to today and each day it's been decreasing, while I struggle to figure things out. This week I've gotten tired of struggling to I prayed, fasted, and read my scriptures + Patriarchal blessing on Friday. I have come to the conclusion, I have to figure things out for my self, so today to help me I started a blog. (I love writing in my journal it's like a habit of mine).
I came across your blog and this line hit me "that you do not receive a witness until after the trial of your faith." I am going through a trial that is basically making me wonder what I am going to do... All of my immediate family fell away, but I am trying hard to hold on.
What makes it harder is I was recently introduced to a new ward... I wouldn't mind if [A] my family would be going with me or [B] if I hadn't just change ward last year. I guess we'll find out what the end brings for me. When will it happen? I am unsure, but I do know one thing. It won't happen if I give up.

NeverMo Mike said...


Looks like Christina needs more of your guidance. I think she's trapped in a cult.