Thursday, August 23, 2012

When Richard Dawkins is Baptized

I look forward to the day, which is nigh at hand, when Richard Dawkins (prophet of the atheist religion and promoter of false scientific theories) will pass on from his mortal probation to the world of spirits where he will learn that he has wasted his life preaching the vain and foolish doctrines of men. 
Can you imagine the shock he will have when he realizes that death is simply the separation of the body and his eternal spirit and that he is still alive! 
The anguish that will fill his soul when he realizes how many he has led astray will likely be immense and yet even though I have been called and chosen as one of the Lords’s anointed it is not my position to judge his fate.  In fact as members of the one true Church it is our responsibility to ensure that salvation is made available unto him.  In the spirit world he will have the opportunity to hear and accept the simple truths of the gospel and here on earth we will ensure that work is done in our holy temples for the salvation of his soul. 
From the Gospel Principles manual we learn that “For those who died without baptism or the temple ordinances, the Lord has provided a way for this to happen. He has asked us to perform ordinances for our ancestors in the temples.”  This practice of redeeming the dead is one of the three great missions and responsibilities of our Church. 
Thus one year from the day of his death (after Richard has had time to ponder and no doubt accept the joyful message of the gospel) I will personally work with his LDS relatives and see to it that a worthy Church member will stand as proxy in his behalf to be baptized and confirmed a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 
Brother Dawkins will be happy to learn (if he reads this blog) that loving members of the Church will then ordain him to the priesthood.  I’m sure that never in his wildest dreams did Richard imagine he would one day achieve the status of being a priest unto the most high God.  
I should pause here to point out that this work is done for all mankind without regard for race, religion or earthly deeds.  Thus some time after his ordination to the priesthood as has been done for millions before him (including prominent historical figures such as past Popes and Adolf Hitler), Dawkins will follow in their footsteps by being washed, anointed and blessed that through his faithfulness he may become clean from the blood and sins of this generation.
Dawkins will be clothed in the holy undergarments of the priesthood and will then go on to receive his endowment ceremony where with a physical relative standing in his place he will take upon himself sacred temple covenants to obey the law of the gospel. 
Brother Dawkins if you are reading this I want to assure you that in the temple you will (as per * “receive all those ordinances in the house of the Lord which are necessary for you, after you have departed this life, to enable you to walk back to the presence of the Father, passing the angels who stand as sentinels, being enabled to give them the keywords, the signs and tokens, pertaining to the holy priesthood, and gain your eternal exaltation in spite of earth and hell.”
Similar work will be completed for Brother Dawkins’ current and ex wives and his work will culminate in a ceremony in which he will be sealed to each one of them for eternity such that together they may enjoy eternal bliss.
Satan fights against the work of the Lord and stirs people up to the point where there are certain individuals and groups who attempt to oppose and thwart the work of the Lord claiming that they and their ancestors should be exempt from being baptized as Mormons.  I applaud the efforts of the public relations arm of the Church in dealing with these groups and the general public.  As Church members though we know that we must press forward in our sacred cause of redeeming the dead.   Our current manuals which are available for all to see on the official website of the Church proudly quote Boyd K. Packer’s words from General Conference which state that **we are obligated to provide these ordinances vicariously for our kindred dead, indeed for the whole human family.” Note that he did not say nor do we teach our members that we are obligated to provide these ordinances vicariously for the whole human family, except for those who do not understand the importance of the work being performed!
In order to accomplish this essential work for the dead we are building temples at an ever increasing rate in locations all over the world.  Will there be opposition to the work? Of Course! But as a Stake President I want to assure you that no unhallowed hand can stop this work from progressing; persecutions may rage, protesters may combine, calumny may defame, but baptisms for the dead will go forth boldly, nobly, and independent, till the purposes of God shall be accomplished, and the Great Jehovah shall say the work is done.
These thoughts I leave with you in the sacred and holy name of Him unto whom every knee shall bow and every tongue confess, even Jesus the Christ, amen.

Friday, August 10, 2012

President Paternoster Reaches out to the Ex-Mormon

It recently came to my attention that one or two who have left the faith read and draw inspiration from my blog.  In an effort to leave the ninety and nine it is to these precious souls that I address my remarks today. 

My dearly beloved Ex-Mormon Brother or Sister,
Nothing concerns me more than to see those who were once stalwart in the faith shrink in the face of adversity.  I want you to know that as a Stake President I understand your plight.  Your path to loneliness and confusion likely started out with something simple, like finding out that Joseph Smith owned a special stone.  This threw you into a whirlwind of doubt where Satan carefully brought you down to the gulf of despair and misery that you now endure.  As a lonely cynic you are now left with one option; to kick against the pricks, to persecute the saints, and fight against God.  You who thus struggle are in the throes of spiritual agony, drowning as it were in a sea of guilt and despair, seeking desperately for the safety of the gospel that had served as your anchor in the past. 
And yet from this month’s *Ensign we learn that “all members of the Church at some time in their lives face moments that test the sincerity and strength of their testimonies.  Braving these trials of our faith helps us stand firm in a world that is falling more and more into the depths of confusion.” 
In my vast experience as a leader in the Lord’s Kingdom I have seen and will now reveal to you the main difference between those who fail in their testimonies and those who hold tight to the iron rod.  It is that the Ex-Mormon had their hearts set so much upon the teachings and philosophies of this world that they did not understand this one principle; that you do not receive a witness until after the trial of your faith. 
Those of us who did not succumb to the fiery darts of the adversary when our faith was tested took the correct steps as given in the *Ensign, which are as follows: “when the righteous are troubled, their first reflex is to search the scriptures and the words of the living prophets.”  We learn from the article that the writings of the prophets “are beacons that (much like my blog) cannot deceive us.”
As an Ex Mormon you looked to other sources for answers.  In time you lost your faith. Eventually you stopped attending Church meetings.  You no longer prayed or pondered the scriptures daily.  You allowed your temple recommend to expire.  And sooner or later Satan whispered in your ear that there was no God, and you believed.  You now make fun of the Church, the people still in it and those things which you once held sacred. 
You can be seen drinking in the pubs, shopping on the Sabbath and without the guidance of the Holy Spirit you have likely lost your moral compass and are engaged in all manner of iniquities and lasciviousness.  Oh that cunning plan of Satan.  He seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.
But I say unto you in that great day when you shall be brought to stand before the Lamb of God—then will you say that there is no God?  Then will you say that the Church which only tried to help you was cultish, controlling and manipulative?  Will you continue to complain before the Lamb of God that His Church, the one and only true Church upon the face of the earth, used its sacred funds to build a shopping mall?   Will you dare counsel the Lord saying “Lord we should have used those billions to feed the hungry and clothe the naked”?  Will you whine and complain that those who suffered from same sex attraction should have been treated with more respect and dignity in the Church; yea will you say this to the one who suffered and died for the very sins which they have committed?  Will you say “Lord, there was no evidence that the gospel was true”, after the many miracles He hath bestowed upon you?
Nay I say unto you that you will tremble before Him and would that you could vanish from His very presence.  And in that day you will know that you have not lived up to the covenants you made with him in the temple on that day, and you will be in Satan’s power.  And if in that day with fear and trembling you raise your eyes heavenward towards me, even President Paternoster, I want you to know that I did my best to warn and exhort you. 
Yet there is still time - there is still hope.  I invite you now to return and enjoy the blessing of becoming a faithful tithe payer once again.  I invite you to spend your Sabbaths away from the beach - joyfully attending the three hour block of meetings that have been prepared to uplift and edify your soul.  I invite you to confess your sins in all detail to loving priesthood leaders.  And I promise that in the due time of the Lord when you have sufficiently humbled yourselves before the priesthood of God you will once again be permitted to attend the temple where sisters will be reminded of their sacred duty to obey their husbands and all will be clothed in the holy garments of the priesthood,
Your humble servant even President Paternoster