Tuesday, March 29, 2011

The Importance of Sealing Divorced Couples After They are Dead

On Sunday I had a very interesting case.  Two sisters who are 48 year old twins came to see me.  One had joined the church as an adult and is an endowed temple attending member.  The other is not a member despite numerous efforts to reach out to her. 

The member is single and is unlikely to ever marry in this life.  Like all good latter-day saints she has had her deceased parents baptized and endowed in the temple which are essential steps in their eternal progression.  She is now planning on having them sealed (married) to each other for all eternity which will in turn enable her to be sealed to them. 

She feels strongly that since she likely won't marry in this life she should at least complete this sealing in order to be sealed into the family of God. 

She decided out of respect to inform her non member sister of her intended actions.  As a non believer her sister had been kind enough to allow the baptisms to take place, but was uncomfortable with this next step.  This is what prompted them to come and see me.  

I first explained the doctrine to the sisters that members of the church have been charged with the solemn responsibility to seal all members of the human family together; husbands to wives and children to parents all the way back to Adam.  I further explained that in order to be sealed to ones parents the parents must first be sealed together and this is done on their behalf by proxy in our sacred temples.

The non member sister explained that their parents loathed each other.  They wanted nothing to do with each other after the divorce.  It was so bad in fact that they could not even both be in the same room on her wedding day. 

I was able to explain to her that while these feelings may have existed in their earthly life we must assume the best of them now.  I tried to assure her that they may have forgiven each other and are likely looking forward with great anticipation to being sealed for eternity together in order to be eligible to attain the highest degree of glory within the celestial kingdom. 

The non member sister further explained that their father was very abusive both physically and verbally.  She was sure that even if some sort of reconciliation had taken place in the next life they still would not want to be married to each other for eternity. 

I opened the handbook of instructions (Book 1 for Stake Presidents and Bishops) and read to them as follows:     
"Deceased couples who were divorced may be sealed by proxy.  These sealings often provide the only way for children of such couples to be sealed to parents."

I told her that in Mormonism we marry and seal together divorced couples all the time once they are dead regardless of their ill feelings for each other in this life.  This is done that the purposes of the Lord may be fulfilled.  I also told her that this is the only way that she (if she humbles herself and joins the church) and her sister (who is ready for this sealing to take place) can be sealed to their parents. 

The non member sister then asked if her sister could simply be sealed to their mother.  I responded by quoting from the handbook that "A child may be sealed only to two parents - a husband and wife - and not to one parent only."

Since the non member sister wouldn't budge I felt a little like Solomon.  Solomon when faced with deciding who the mother of the baby was decided to cut the baby in two so that each mother could have half.  When one mother cried out, "Please, give her the child” Solomon knew that it was in fact her who was the real mother. 

I offered a silent prayer and then felt a distinct prompting.  I asked them ‘Who is the first born among you?’  The sister who was a member stated that she had been the first born (as per the spiritual prompting I had received).  With that information I then passed the judgment that the first born had the authority in this matter to make the final decision. 

At this point the other sister stormed out of the office.  I explained to the member that this is a perfect example of Satan doing all he can to halt the progress of the Lords work on the Earth.  I further promised her that her sister would eventually be grateful to her when she realizes the importance of the work being done.

I am grateful for the wisdom I have been accorded as I seek to do the will of the Lord and further His work and kingdom upon the Earth.   


Anonymous said...

Sometimes I wonder why more LDS church leaders don't get shot.

Bruno said...

Our family just had a similar experience. Our elderly grandma survived her abusive ex husband and father of her three children. Decades later, her dying wish was that she was NOT to be sealed to her ex. This wish was honored for a couple of decades, but then a family member stumbled onto the fact that Grandma and her ex husband had in fact been sealed by an anonymous person without anyone in the family being asked or notified. One of the surviving children was just sealed to her parents after anguishing over it for years.

Anonymous said...

My grandmother was married 3 times & never sealed to any of her husbands. She had several children with each husband. We have no idea who she wanted to be sealed to, if any, but for the sake of each kid, we sealed her to all husbands then each child to the marriage bond they came from. We felt grateful for the guidance that was given to us from a loving stake president.

Anonymous said...

I am divorced unfortunately, and although my wife and I were sealed and our 6 children were born into the covenant, so they will be ok regardless of what happened to our marriage subsequently.

The good news is that I am now dating a wonderful and worthy sister who has never been married. We intend to be married in the temple and sealed for all eternity. Regardless of whether my first marriage ended badly, I can still get sealed to another woman.

But my understanding it that my ex-wife cannot get re-married, which serves her right! I intend to resist her efforts to cancel our temple sealing just to punish her.

But President Paternaster, I won't have to be with both of them for eternity, will I? That would be totally miserable, they would fight all the time. And in any event we don't believe in polygamy any more, right?

Carla said...

I think you should have pointed out that any ordinances performed by proxy can be refused by the deceased in the afterlife, and that by performing the proxy sealing you are effectively leaving it up to the deceased couple to decide for themselves.

Anonymous said...

This is also why I have problems with Baptisms for the dead. (Most) of these people live their lives and make their own conscious decisions with their own free will, and once they die, you go in and shit all over their power of decision.

Michael Carpenter said...

My father has never been a member of the church. Although he is still alive, he's getting up there. He was married to four women during his life and divorced three of them.

So, when my father and all of his wives die, can I get them all sealed to them?

Even though my father was not a member of the church, I think he'd make a good polygamist in the next life.

Anonymous said...

President Paternoster, I am so grateful to the Lord that He has blessed the church with leaders with as much insight as you. I did, however, (and I say this with as much humility as I can--and a bit of shame I must admit) wish you had said somewhat more on the subject of the heroic temple work done on Holocaust victims, and the world's ceaseless and satanic attempts to thwart this work. I can think of no better monument to the lives of the many Jewish souls who died than to save their souls forever with the restored truth. Count on the darkness of the world to twist the hearts of the Jewish community against something so beautiful.

Anonymous said...

that was a good idea to ask who was born first. I think the first born twin often is more intelligent.

Not always, but about 50% of the time.

Anonymous said...

You're arrogant and a disgrace to the LDS Church. You should take your blasphemous blog down and keep discussion of sacred things in their proper environment.

Your view of doctrine is ridiculous as well. You really think that if that sealing of the parents doesn't take place that the unmarried sister will not have the opportunity to be sealed to a family after this life? Are you kidding me? Our Heavenly Father does not punish people because others don't do the work. It's a fallacy.

And as for your "firstborn" doctrine, what happens now when a second-born reads this drivel and loses the opportunity due to your careless blogging?

You disgust me.

Stake Pres. said...
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Stake Pres. said...
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Sunshine said...

Patternoster, if this is part of some trend in the church to make it possible to seal folks who hate each other, then I want no part of it. One of the most immediate blessings of hating most people, is you aren't bound to them in any way. In other words, you mess with my peace and quiet, I'll mess with your face.

Stake Pres. said...
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Anonymous said...

So just to be clear, the church doctrine is that if one is sealed to more that one woman we will have multiple wives in heaven, correct?

Does the LDS church believe in polygamy or not? I thought they abandoned that practice, but it sounds like they still believe in it, just not here on earth.

anonymous #2 said...

I'm the #2 anonymous, third entry this blog... To the anonymous who asked about lds practicing polygamy, I'll defer to the president, but can tell you apparently lds doctrine is ok with polyandry (women sealed to multiply husbands) as my grandmother was sealed to 3 men! Right president? I'm pretty sure joseph smith was married to woman who were also married to their first husbands while being married to him at the same time & he said for them to stay married to both at the same time. So it must be ok! What are your comments president?

- anonymous #2

Stake Pres. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
anonymouse #2 said...

Oh!!! I thought those were known facts & it was ok to follow our beloved prophet joseph smith! It made sense to me. I don't know why anyone would take offense to the truth. After all he is a true prophet! That's what I always thought.

Stake Pres. said...
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anonymous #2 said...

Thank you president. You might have wisdom on that... The truth can show things that are real & disturbing & lead to the wrong conclusions. Sometimes its easier not to know & get confused.

Stake Pres. said...
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Anonymous said...

President, there is much food for thought in your edifying comments concerning firearms and the temple garment. Never before has the role of Second Amendment principles in a Zion society been made so clear to me.

Anonymous said...


This is NOT a website sanctioned by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Nor is "President Paternoster" a stake president within the Church. Rather, this site is farce, and [usually] not good farce, at that.

Most of the posts here are written by quasi-apostates who mock those who are sincerely striving, albeit imperfectly, to follow Jesus.

Caveat utilitor.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the clarification. It all makes sense now. The more I read, the weirder it all was, and not in keeping with LDS behavior or views. I will look for info elsewhere.

Anonymous said...

Omg you're a fundamentalist -_- Us true LDS never believed in polygamy! You're not an LDS you're a FUNDAMENTALIST! How dare you say that? "And in any event, we don't believe in polygamy anymore, right?" READ THE TEXT OVER AGAIN WILL YOU?! FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE THE DEVIL TYPED YOU'RE COMMENT IN, DIDN'T HE?! You deserve a reserved spot in the outer darkness. & you should have been name after you're real father; THE DEVIL!!! YOU MAKE ME SICK! YOU AINT GOT NOTHIN ON HEAVEN! THE OUTTER DARKNESS SAVED A SPECIAL SPOT FOR YOU!!! RIGHT NEXT TO THE DEVIL SUFFERING FOR ALL ETERNITY! you unworthy punk!

Anonymous said...

Sorry but no. And on the record...you sound like a polygamist yourself...SHAME SHAME SHAME!

Anonymous said...

Why....WHY WOULD YOU EVEN WONDER THAT?! What is wrong with you? What did they ever do to YOU?! Oh yeah, NOTHING! Psh..."Sometimes I wonder why more LDS Church Leaders don't get shot." Man...something is wrong with you -_____- You wanna get shot? The Devil is waiting on you ;) jah bless Jo losah*

Anonymous said...

Still, Mormons would look @ this page for teaching or guiding references. Even so, how could the author of this page allow words of polygamy on comments? It disgusts me ever more -_- How shameful you are to me and my people. AND IM ONLY 14 :p Mean machine!

Anonymous said...

This whole blog makes me. Why is either party attacking one another over such a menial affair. To both I'd say, that God's light shines on the just and on the unjust, so if either party is wrong, turn the other cheek. What does it profit you to love only those who love you? To be a true saint of Christ we must learn to pray for those who persecute us, not to hate them. Jesus Christ on the cross being speared said, "forgive them father, for they know not what they do." That is a true example of the light of our father in heaven.

Furthermore, had I been a leader of the church I would have chastened those in their anger stating that they wished someone to burn in hell. it is not the will of our father in heaven that any of his children should be lost.

Anonymous said...

Also, to both I'd say that there is much confusion in doctrine for any faith. That doesn't mean we hate each other.

Anna Allart said...

I don't even know where to begin with this question. I have pondered and prayed about the answer I wish for to the question I do have. Does that make any sense? Haha!

I married my first husband years and years ago. He is and was the true love of my life and even though we haven't been together in almost 11 years, I have ached in my heart and soul. Please be patient and read the entire story because I am really wanting to know the answer, the true answer.

My first husbands name is Shane. I had a child
Out of wedlock. I wasn't LDS. I met Shane as a 21 yr old college girl and new mom. We feel madly in love and we're married. We had three sons together. This made 4 sons since my husband Shane had raised my son as the biological father was a dead beat drunk and pot head college basketball player, and took off after I got pregnant.

I was raised a Catholic and my first husband Shane a Mormon. However, he wasn't raised active in his church and we drank alcohol on weekends. I wanted to know about his religion and so I studied it and 6 mos later I was Baptized:-) My husband came back to
The church as well. We had a very loving marriage, although we struggled financially. I began to have panic attacks severely and was given a medication which back in that time no one told me was extremely addictive and the longer you took it, the more you needed, etc... We started becoming inactive again because my husbands inactive family pressured him to work on Sundays, etc... and he was messing up jobs as a contractor, bla, bla, bla!!! We ended up drinking again together. One thing led to another and my father gave me a job making large money, I had a Hispanic housekeeper and nanny, etc.... at 28 years old. I was popping Zanax in the morning for hangovers and drinking at night over high stress at work. Eventually my husband Shane and I stopped seeing each other and he was out drinking and partying and so did I, but this time separately. One thing led to another and we divorced. He remarried a woman and I remarried a man. He had a daughter with this new wife and I had two daughters with my new husband, but neither one of us could say we loved our new spouses as much as we did one another. Before my 1st husband died in a terrible accident from being drunk, he talked with me over the phone and admitted to one of our sons that he still loved me. He was also in the process of divorcing his second wife, he hated her. She is not a member and his second wife hates and despises the Mormon church. My second husband and I divorced as well. My first husband Shane I love with all my heart and soul and I miss terribly. I am remarried again, I am active in church again, my new husband is like a best friend, but I don't love him nor could I ever like I did Shane. I wanted to know if since Shane was technically still married to this second wife, because he died before he could divorce her, can I be sealed to him????? Like I said, I do love my current spouse... but not nearly as much as I do my first husband. To this day, I think of him daily and the pain all encompasses my heart. I miss him and I talk to him like he's there all the time. (Maybe I'm nuts) ha!

Please help me to figure this one out!!!!!

Thank you, Sister Annamarie

Anna Allart said...

Could you also please answer me by email because I don't know if my email is working right where I will be notified of your response. Ann2069074@gmail.com

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