Monday, March 7, 2011

Ventings of a Stake President

It takes a lot to make me vent, but I am at my wits end at some of the young people in the church. 

One of my greatest concerns is with our young return missionaries and their dating choices.   In the past year I have seen at least three return missionaries dating sisters who have more than one set of earrings in their ears. 

I am at a loss.  I had the high councilor over the young single adult unit in my stake address this and report back to me, but have seen no changes.  I instructed him to use the example of the talk given by Elder Bednar entitled ‘Quick to Observe’ ( 

In summary Elder Bednar said that he knew a returned missionary who was considering marriage. The relationship however was developing during the time that President Hinckley counseled the sisters of the Church to wear only one earring in each ear.  It has always been important for the priesthood to counsel the sisters in their manner of dress.  As a stake president I take this responsibility very seriously.

The young man waited patiently for the young woman to remove her extra earrings, but she did not take them out! This was a valuable piece of information for this young man, and he felt unsettled about her nonresponsiveness to a prophet’s pleading.  He ultimately stopped dating the young woman, because he was looking for an eternal companion who had the courage to promptly and quietly obey the counsel of the prophet in all things and at all times. The young man was quick to observe that the young woman was not quick to observe.

Sometimes I wonder whether the young men coming home from their missions are unaware of this prophetic counsel.  Do they not consider it important to have an eternal companion who quietly obeys the priesthood in all things?

If any readers (including sisters) have suggestions on how to get the young men to stop dating those who blatantly disobey the Lords counsel I would very much appreciate your comments.  

Sorry again for the vent.  I suppose that even us stake presidents are human.

President Paternoster


Gordon B. Hinckley said...

Just let us wear our garments in peace you asshole! All we wanted to do was start a mind washing cult!

Unknown said...

I wonder if this concern isn't a bit unfounded. If there are any moral deficiencies in the woman (extra earrings, critical thinking), they may be made up for by the man, since he is responsible for her entry into the Celestial Kingdom.

As Erastus Snow preached:

No woman will get into the celestial kingdom, except her husband receives her, if she is worthy to have a husband; and if not, somebody will receive her as a servant.
(Journal of Discourses, vol. 5, p. 291)

However, if her unworthiness causes him to fall (as with Eve, so with the daughters of Eve), then I agree that this is a more serious concern.

Me from Cali said...

I know you’re a President when speaking as a President except when you’re speaking as a human, but I’ll have you know that my daughter in Zion is a two fisted, spiked hair-do, FOUR earringed (in each ear), ***returned missionary*** who is every bit as worthy as any mamby-pamby, monkey told -- monkey do, Molly Mormon!

Just ask the young men in your stake to take stock of what kind of wife will be more of a helpmate when the cucca starts hitting the fan real soon during the days when the Great Tribulation is upon us (as prophesied in the book of Matthew and Revelation). Ask any young man in your stake who will be more up and ready to confront the ‘beast.’

Wait a minute... uh... mmm... On second thought, do you think the ‘mark of beast‘ is in fact the wearing of more than just one earring in each ear? My brat can sure act like a beast, especially during a certain time of every month.

Well, on second thought, better tell the young men in your stake to “avoid the even appearance of evil” and only date those ‘sweet spirits’ who don’t ever wear any earrings (and perhaps make-up too, just to be on the safe side).

Uh, fancy that -- my brat may end up being the beast who will be standing “in the holy place.” Temple night will never be the same, or at least for those 1260 days.

Anonymous said...

It floors me that the word of wisdom (WOW) is so overlooked compared to outward pretention that keeps wonderful people out of "the Lord's presence" for eternity! (& I don't mean the wearing of the 2 earings) Thankfully the Lord looks upon the heart!

How can things that REALLY matter replace things that are so superficial? Here's ONE example (in principles that matter): if love prevailed, members would be taught the Lord's way of avoiding pain & suffering through observing the true WOW (not pretenses!) which would vindicate them of 95% sickness, pain & suffering! (Stuff that matters!)

But no, what is taught here is that 2 earings FAR OUTWEIGH say in comparison, the correct teachings of, for example (yes, a bit off topic, but you get the point), of health of a mother/father, etc. getting chemotherapy when treatments the Lord has introduced, via real WOW, would give them a 97% chance of survival versus the statistacial 2% survival of receiving chemo. (Just one example of so many about WOW that MATTER.)

But wait! Let's keep focused on what REALLY counts... judgement, condemning, withholding, casting stones & using counterfeit, imitations of love in the name of obedience to something so insignificant. That's the lord's way to follow, right?? Well, it is the practice. Heil the prophets!

Stake Pres. said...
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Sunshine said...

Hey Paternoster,

Another great post. In fact, I've ditched the earrings altogether, choosing to accentuate my femininity with a legally conceal-carried Glock 26 with laser sights. Because, after all:

"And we want you, ladies, to provide yourselves with weapons, and with all that is necessary, and be ready to defend yourselves; for you won't always have your husbands to defend you."
Heber C. Kimbal, Journal of Discourses, 4: 374

Michael said...

I would like to state, for the record, that I personally believe that the woman in the story that Elder Bednar related was best served by NOT marrying that individual.

Frankly, the number of earrings a person wears, or the color of their dress shirt, or the amount of facial hair a person chooses to keep has nothing to do with that individual's salvation.

Sorry to have to disagree with you on this one President.

Jeanette said...

You want suggestions about how to get the young men to stop dating women who wear two pairs of earrings? Why don't you tell them the same thing we tell our children when they won't eat their dinner: there are starving children in Africa, China, and Bangladesh. Logically, the young men will then realize the error of their ways and discontinue their bad behavior.
I am so grateful we have a prophet who can focus on minor details like how many earrings a young woman should wear instead of being swallowed up by bigger concerns such as starving children in Africa, China, and Bangladesh. It shows a tremendous attention span to be able to focus on the little details.
Thank you for pointing out the error of these young men's ways.

Stake Pres. said...
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Anonymous said...

Sorry this is not relating to your post I just needed to respond to a comment an anonymous person made.

@anonymous "etc. getting chemotherapy when treatments the Lord has introduced, via real WOW, would give them a 97% chance of survival versus the statistacial 2% survival of receiving chemo."
It is hair-brained crazies like this that got to a family member of mine and the primary cause that she died at age 62!!

Concerning the topic, I think the women in this church should stop wining about having to do something as simple as not wereing more than one pair of earrings when the early saints were asked much more than that.

Sis. Daniels

Anonymous said...

Sis Daniels,

This is the "first" anonymous, aka hair-brained crazy". I'm truly sorry about your family member dying. I'm interested in what other circumstances were involved. Just because they died isn't justification for short-sightedness. If you weren't closed minded I'd point you to so many success stories about this topic your heart would see real hope not just for cancer recovery but for most diseases. Also, statistically speaking, the medical community acknowledges that of the people who undergo chemo only 2% live - that's true for people who are sick or who are healthy - that's just how chemo works.



I seriously wish our leaders would teach the word of wisdom in the way God intened. So much got dropped out, leaving a few things, now mandated only for the purpose of qualifying worthiness. Isn't the point to be healthy, happy & rejuvinated?? What do you think it means in Ezekiel 34 (note it's talking about the latter days)?

- Tracy, (aka Hair-brained Crazy)

Anonymous said...

I agree the WOW is important. But as this post is about earings I'll leave it up to Pre. Paternoster if he would like to chanllenge that issue.
I may have miss-interpreted your post Tracy. I understand that natural methods of medicine can work but there are times when we need to listen to our doctors too. In our situation not following doctor instuctions lead to the cancer spreading. Chemo was not an option (she had done it once and it had worked but she wasn't going to do it again).
No matter how many testimonials you listn to there's always another side to the story. There isn't one "mircle" way that is going to work for everyone.

Sis. Daniels

Anonymous said...

Sis Daniels,

I agree there are times we should listen to our doctors. The body is amazing when given its proper nutrition & pH balance, etc etc.... God designed it to repair & heal. And you're right, there's not necessarily one fix-all solution... Fortunately there are many! Also, FYI, part of what causes cancer to return, usually near that 5 year mark, is chemo! Ironic & sad.

Best health & blessings to your family.

- Tracy

Unknown said...

I have more important things to worry about weather or not the YW have 1, 2, or 3 earrings. Core values such as kindness are more important to me than obeying EVERY word EVERY prophet ever said. After all, we are a church that believes in personal revelation. What if I received personal revelation that allowed me to retain 6 earrings for acupuncture during a difficult pregnancy. I would hope that you wouldn't be so quick to condemn me to hell for it. I think the world would be a better place if we focused our time and energy on love and acceptance.

Stake Pres. said...
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Brian J said...

I am glad you can focus on this Pres. Paternoster. It is a serious problem in our Stake too. I had to go outside of Utah once on a business trip, and let me tell you, there were piercings on every imaginable body part out there.

These are a sign of the last days for sure. We can't let this influence our youth and teach them to not keep their tabernacle holy. Well, I mean there are actually more holes with more piercings, but you know what I mean.

I sometimes think I would rather have my daughters come home from the mall in a pine box than see them return dishonored with another ear ring. But I can't really entertain that thought. I am sure the atonement can cover this if they repent in time.

Stake Pres. said...
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Anonymous said...

The atonement ONLY covers sins for which one is repentent? Are you saying we better get it right & die perfect... That IS what you are saying. I thought jesus was the only one who was perfect.

Stake Pres. said...
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Sharifa (respected one) said...

I am having great difficulty with your requirement about one ear ring, President. You see I am an Egyptian belly dancer. Actually we are not called that. I use the term 'belly dancer' because it is the only one you lascivious British and Americans know us by. We are Arabic folk dancers, known as 'Raqs sharqi', and the earliest evidence of our dance is found in Greek tomb paintings of 5000BC (One of the worst things about you Westerners is the way that you objectify women for sexual purposes. And it sounds to me as if the Mormon Prophet can't get the idea out of his head, when he gets so het up about ear rings.). Personally I have as many as 17 body piercings, including in my navel, which is covered from view by a large brooch. None of my family consider this to be in the least offensive. Please explain how Gordon B. Hinckley's dictum about only one set of ear rings applies to me.

Brent Thomas said...

I want to pierce my womans ears and I also want to make love to my friend hugo at work. mmm hugo I love you!