Tuesday, March 22, 2011

A Stake Presidents Perspective on Homosexuality

Often I hear complaints that the church is homophobic.  I believe it is about time a leader stood up and corrected this false notion once and for all. 

Frankly I am fed up with the negative press the church gets over this issue.  In this post I will show that the church has always done its utmost to reach out to those suffering from homosexual tendencies in order to help them feel normal again. 

Now I understand that President Packer said "we can very foolishly cause things we are trying to prevent by talking too much about them" so I would like to ask all those under the age of 21 and any who already suffer from homosexual inclinations to stop reading this article.

Now that we have that out of the way I would first like to reiterate that the church has always taught that the practice of homosexuality is a choice and in many cases is a curable mental illness.  As a church we affirm that one can and must avoid homosexual relations.

Since 1959, church presidents starting with David O. McKay have taken seriously the work of curing gays within the church.  Speaking to church educators and LDS psychiatrists in 1964, Spencer W. Kimball said "We know such a disease is curable and that ex-gay Mormons have emerged from the church's counseling programs cured.”  I honestly don’t know how to say it any better than that!

Kimball taught that church leaders may assist those with homosexual tendencies by reciting scripture, appealing to their reason, encouraging gays to abandon gay associates, praying and straight dating.  The cure to this problem comes through following the basic rules for moral and spiritual health for a long period of time with undeviating determination.

In President Kimball’s book the Miracle of Forgiveness, we learn of one of the key causes of homosexuality.  Keep in mind this book was written by a prophet of the Lord and is widely circulated today.  In fact whenever someone is struggling with sin I encourage them to read this book.  From it we learn that masturbation can and does lead to the act of homosexuality.  This is why we strongly discourage masturbation among our youth.  I have had to delay many prospective missionaries from serving full time missions over this very issue. 

In 1978, President Packer characterized homosexual interaction as a perversion and clarified that it had its roots in selfishness and could be cured with unselfish thoughts and acts.  Homosexual problems can be overcome through faith in God, sincere repentance, and persistent effort.

We as a church have done all in our power to help those with these tendencies to change.  This is why I find it so upsetting when we are wrongly accused of being homophobic.  Take this as an example; At Brigham Young University we have had great success in the past with aversion therapy.  Participants with homosexual tendencies were fortunate to have had the opportunity to be cured by participation in this inspired program.  Basically we hooked participants up so that they could be shocked with increasing amounts of electric voltage while showing them pornographic photos of men.  Afterwards they were shown heterosexual images while soothing music (probably from the Mormon Tabernacle Choir) was played in the background.  This and other efforts by the church clearly show the love we have and concern we show in helping gays become normal again.  I don’t know why the critics refuse to cite these instances in their attacks.  Those who criticize us ought to first do their research.  

Now let’s discuss the origin of homosexuality.  Why do some suffer from these tendencies?  This is an area that is very misunderstood in the world today and that I will now clarify. 

I was once asked this question; “if homosexuality is inborn then is the plan of salvation true?”  I responded absolutely not.  If homosexuality can be proven to be inborn then this church and the whole plan of salvation are man made.  It would show that our church leaders didn’t have a clue what they were talking about and were and are completely uninspired of the Lord, which obviously cannot be the case.  Here are three quotes from our latter-day prophets, seers and revelators to show this:

1. even as far back as 1976 the Lord inspired our leaders on this issue.  Here is what President Packer taught back then: “There is a falsehood that some are born with an attraction to their own kind, with nothing they can do about it. They are just 'that way' and can only yield to those desires. It is a malicious and destructive lie. While it is a convincing idea to some, it is of the devil. No one is locked into that kind of life... Boys are to become men – masculine, manly men – ultimately to become husbands and fathers.”

2. President James E. Faust of the first presidency said in 1995:
 “There is some widely accepted theory extant that homosexuality is inherited. How can this be? No scientific evidence demonstrates absolutely that this is so. Besides, if it were so, it would frustrate the whole plan of mortal happiness. Our designation as men or women began before this world was.  In contrast to the socially accepted doctrine that homosexuality is inborn, a number of respectable authorities contend that homosexuality is not acquired by birth. The false belief of inborn homosexual orientation denies to repentant souls the opportunity to change and will ultimately lead to discouragement, disappointment, and despair.”  See this link for the full talk:

3. In the last General Conference (October 2010) President Packer confirmed: “Some suppose that they were preset, and cannot overcome what they feel are inborn tendencies toward the impure and unnatural. Not so. Why would our Heavenly Father do that to anyone? Remember, he is our Father…..You can if you will, break the habits, and conquer the addiction, and come away from that which is not worthy of any member of the Church.”

Now let’s discuss the ecclesiastical responsibilities I have with regards to those who persist in this practice.  Since prophets have made it clear that these are not inborn tendencies I have no problem knowing how to react when believing members choose such a course of deviation by a clear, conscious decision.  I have on several occasions under inspired direction had to conduct church discipline including excommunication of these men.  In one case when I served as a Bishop we even excommunicated a woman for persisting in these acts.  This is one of the great burdens of being in leadership positions within the church. 

In conclusion I hope that I have shown in this post that the church does all it can to save sinners by ministering unto them individually.  This is no different for homosexuals.  In the church we love the sinner but hate the sin.  I commit to continue to do all in my power as a stake president to save the souls of those who have allowed themselves to be tempted by such tendencies.  I leave these thoughts with you in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, Amen. 



56 comments:

Invictus Pilgrim said...

I can hardly wait to read any comments on this post! You have certainly "told it like it is."

Porter said...

I have been looking for some time for a clear statement such as this on the Church's policy.

My problem with your posting is that it focuses on statements made by the "hard liners" (such as Packer) but ignores seemingly conflicting recent statements by other general authorities such as Elder Oaks and Elder Holland? In 1996 Elder Oaks wrote: “Some kinds of feelings seem to be inborn. Others are traceable to mortal experiences. Still other feelings seem to be acquired from a complex interaction of 'nature and nurture.' All of us have some feelings we did not choose…Perhaps such susceptibilities are inborn or acquired without personal choice or fault…” (http://newsroom.lds.org/official-statement/same-gender-attraction)

How can we reconcile conflicting statements by current members of the twelve, all of whom are "prophets seers and revelators"? I try to follow the prophet, but our prophets don't seem to agree on the direction to go.

On a more practical level, I have a friend from high school who followed the advice of his leaders and despite his struggles with same-sex attraction he went on a mission, got married and had two kids. But he could not resist his sinful ways and eventually gave in to his attraction. Now his wife is single wiht two kids. I'm not sure if that was a good result for him and his former wife.

Stake Pres. said...
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Wondering said...

President, I have a problem with compulsive masturbation, and I need to know how long I can do this before I magically become gay.

Izzoiz said...

Let me say this plain and simple. you are born gay. period. Why is it so hard to believe that if people can be born straight, that they can also be born gay? how ignorant are you? And like i fully believe when people have such an adverse reaction to something they should look deep within themselves because there are obviously some issues they do not want to face....Any sort of counseling to "cure" people of homosexuality is hateful and dangerous and you know it....No one is ever cured you know that. Lastly you are fighting a battle against gays you are losing....

Porter said...

Thank you for that clarification, I hadn't ever thought through that distinction. Thank goodness we have good church leaders like you to explain away these inconsistencies.

I have heard that the new Church Handbook of Instructions is to be considered scripture. Does it contain instructions to church leaders on this issue? Are bishops still instructed to send people with same-sex attraction to get "fixed" through therapy so they will be normal again?

George said...

I'm not sure, but I think I might have been in a meeting at work with another man who I think was, well, you know... suffering from gayness. He said that he had recently gone to see a popular musical production. When he was talking about it, he mentioned how "all" the actors and actresses were very attractive. Why would he include the men (actors) unless he was attracted to them?

While I would never invite such a person over to my home or visit socially, I was wondering if I could peak his interest in more manly pursuits such as Rambo movies or gun shooting. According to many of the GA talks, it is clear he can be cured of his illness.

By the way, the musical he went to was something called "Wicked". As soon as he said the word, I got an uneasy feeling and knew that the Holy Ghost would never want anyone to see such an unholy production.

Daniel said...

the church has always done its utmost to reach out to those suffering from homosexual tendencies in order to help them feel normal again.

You had me from here.

In a straight way.

John Robert said...

Dear President,

Thank you for enlightening me to the processes & workings of the church on milk & meat. I now understand what it means: milk is misleading insinuations about a subject used as a lure while meat is the hardcore truth that slaps one upside the head as the catch. Because the REAL truth would make people turn & leave, we must give them the illusion of truth, or let them think what they may because we should use weasel words like "seems" & not absolute words like "are" or "is".

I once got pulled into an MLM because they taught me with milk becasue I would have rejected the meat if I wss told it upfront. After losing over $3,000.00 I invested on misleading milk, I realized the milk & meat didn't come close. So I left with a loss.

Now I see how important the milk lure is & why. Thank you for the clarification!

Paul said...

"What I am trying to say therefore is that we are obliged to show one face to our faithful members and another face to the public in order to maintain credibility in the world."

Which is why, for example, the church now denies blood atonement, adam-god, and the fact that Joseph Smith married 33 women, many of whom were still married to men he sent on missions, and at least a third of whom were young teen girls. It also explains why Brigham Young taught that monogamy was the teaching of Rome and a marriage format of the devil, but the modern church is the biggest supporter of "one-man-one-woman" marriage laws... because, you known, you gotta have that slick marketing face to show the world so the tithing keeps rolling in.

Stake Pres. said...
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CoExMo said...

President, I am so glad that you addressed this issue and made it so clear why the church has to be less than candid when dealing with the outside world. Unfortunately after 20+ years in the church I had to leave because the meat never came. My family is much happier now that we don't live our lives with the tension of these contradictions. Best wishes to you and please continue clarifying these things as I think it does really help those who struggle with the church double speak.

john robert said...

I don't see me & brother paul taking your words out of context. I see real conflicting issues & for the thinking, non-blind obedient drone - it gets identified & requests valid truthful answers, upfront!

On a personal note, I still got suckered out of $3000 because of the milk/meat trickery... Its a real loss & in this economy... I'd like to trust truth, not slippery double talk. It makes a thinking awake person ask in what ways have people been injured coming into the church through the same practice?

If Christ is your exemplar, please show me where HE used trickery double-talk, milk/meat words so I may truly confirm your preceived justification.

Stake Pres. said...
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john robert said...

President,

That's not the same as using deception & twisting words from one meaning into another. Nice try though.

BTW, the MLM lie/ripoff experience has nothing to do with the LDS church (I don't hold it against the church of course). The only point in that MLM experience was to demonstrate the use of the milk/meat principle.

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't go as far as to say that the church is untrue if homosexuality is a heritable characteristic, after all many studies, and all off my college texts books, say that it is, to a great degree heritable. It is important to note that with all things in psychology, there is usually some mix between nature/nurture.

Stake Pres. said...
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Anonymous said...

I respect you for taking the words of our leaders to heart. However, leaders are not perfect, and often will, unknowingly, say things that are not true. Reading Brigham Young's journal of discourses is a good example. Perhaps being gay is not inborn, but maybe it is. I fear that if it is proven without a doubt to be genetic, that many members who take words like "the plan would be frustrated if it were so" too literally, and there may be a falling out for some. Kind of like with blacks and the priesthood -I know a nice lady who left the church because she clung to Brigham Young's statements that blacks would not have the priesthood in this life. I'm just saying be careful, because I don't want statements like this hurting yours or anyone else's testimony.

TGD said...

Anonymous,

Earlier in the comments the Stake president did state why it's important to only draw council from the conference talks, rather than the church 'newsroom'. As for the case with Brigham Young and the journal of discourses, it demonstrates a perfect example in another respect why this is important as there are times the inspired leaders are speaking as men and not as prophets.

The Stake president can better clarify this reasoning, I'm sure.

Stake Pres. said...
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jill said...

It's interesting you say your life would crumble, revelation was your own thoughts & prejudices, & ultimately you would lose your faith. It's interesting you make all these assumptions (on the premise of IF). What is the point of saying that anyway? & why would it be all or nothing? Maybe its possible what you interpreted was not God's interpretation at all. In other words, maybe to balance everything on a teeder-todder is not the same balance the Lord uses. When some people leave the lds church, they often take this approach & toss God right out. I just find it odd & your concluding statement odd too.

Buckley said...

I see a lot of people confusing obedience with truth. Joseph Smith and Brigham Young both taught that they are not the same thing. If we have "The Truth" then there is no reason to rely on obedience litmus tests. The truth does, after all, set us free. I have never read that obedience sets us free.
I assure you--from mountains of evidence and personal experience--being gay is not a choice, and it is spiritual abuse to treat people differently because of things over which they have no choice.

Stake Pres. said...
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lucas said...

President P.,

I had personal revelation the church is true. Then I learned it's not the same church set up by joseph smith fundamentally. Was God talking to me about joseph smiths church or the modified one of today? Both are so different, what did God mean?

- Lucas

Anonymous said...

When I was 16 I came out to my bishop (Douglasville Ward, GA). He felt that talk therapy would help cure me and he had me explain in great detail the sexual feelings I had toward other men. When this approach to curing me failed he suggested role play. We spent hours each week in his office rolling around on the floor naked and sweaty. He was a fat man in whom I had no interest so we took my lack of response to be be a good sign that my recovery had begun.

Alas, after my mission I married a woman with whom I have several children and I still find her v-jay disgusting.

Stake Pres. said...
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lucas said...

President P,

Lucas here again.... So please help me to get this... If the church hasn't really changed from the days of joseph smith, why has God made statements through his prophets & then through later prophets changed what He said. For example, brigham young and the succeding prophets & some general authorities up until 1978 said the blacks would NEVER hold the priesthood. Then all of a sudden, poof... God changed his mind.

Now don't get me wrong... I dated black women & think that whole race is as worthy as any white race... But did God not see the upcoming change or what? I mean, he said blacks would NEVER (in THIS life) receive the priesthood. How can I know what prophets to believe & how can I know if they are speaking as a man or for God from the pulpit? I'm so confused!!! Do you think I can ever trust God when He keeps changing His words? I'm really struggling here!

Stake Pres. said...
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lucas said...

The prophets really are inspired aren't they, no matter what the outer circumstances from what you are telling me. I wish I had blind unquestioning faith like you.

Stake Pres. said...
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Linda said...

Since this is my first time on this blog I feel compelled to ask a very honest question, unfortunately my past experiences with the LDS teachings have given a new meaning to honesty. Personally, the answers to my questions become twisted around only to keep the members blind but to non members such as myself, we can see just fine. so on with my question. When the sacrament is blessed who's body and blood are we partaking of?

Linda said...

You see for the longest time being a member I never really gave it much thought. A prayer was said mentioning Jesus sacrificed him self for us and the sacrament was a reminder of just that. It was a promise we made to keep sin free all week long until we meet again. Yeah like that's going to happen. There was a young man in my ward, struggling with his faith because he just lost his wife of 1 year and had fell, he sinned. He went to our Bishop and told him what he had done and all the Bishop had to offer in return was this, "Do not partake of the sacrament on Sunday. He came to me crying,once again a broken man. so my question is how can the Bishop take something away that isn't his? I don't ever remember the prayer saying the flesh and blood of our Bishop. Not even the flesh and blood of a prophet. It is a gift to us SINNERS from our Savior to remind us of His love for us. Now, try to twist it. Please I am dieing to read the LDS version.

Stake Pres. said...
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Linda said...

Thank you Stake Pres, that answer is exactly what I expected from a mormam's aspect. Now try to find something in the BIBLE, not the Book of morman, the BIBLE that will back up that same statement you blogged out. I personally find it totally offensive that you would try to pass yourself and the Bishop off as a Judge in Israel. Did you get that out of the book of morman as well? I cant seem to find it in the BIBLE. Hum, I wonder why. I wonder how you sleep at night, staking a claim to something so pure and righteous as a Judge in Israel. Shame on you. The only Judge on earth over man is the same Judge in heaven. God never appointed Judges on earth to condemn his children. This is the very reason why i left the LDS church, because there are to many CHIEFS/SOUL HUNTERS, and I wasn't about to loose my soul to the belief and written words of man.

Stake Pres. said...
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Linda said...

Thank you for your concern. I truly feel it is from your heart and I am sorry if I have attacked you personally because that is not my plan, so again I am sorry if I hurt you. In regards to my returning to a fold where I find peace and joy once again, I tried that and I was a Temple recommend holder. I felt my faith falling away and I was alone, no husband to minister to me so I called upon the next best thing, my Bishop and his counselors. I opened my heart to them, tears falling as fear overcame my happiness. I was falling, I was that 1 sheep that needed to be found. I said, "Bishop, I am so scared because I am not feeling the spirit like I should, I feel lost and my faith is falling." Waiting for his answer was the longest minute of my life, hoping for a guiding message to help me, (as you so freely put it,) "return to the safety of the FOLD where I would find peace and joy once again. This is what my Bishop and his posse had to offer me, "Well Sister Linda, I'm afraid you will have to find that alone." ALONE? ALONE! I had done everything they ever asked of me, I gave my faith to the LDS church in return for safety and Solace, what a crock. You would think after that answer it would be the darkest day of my life but it wasn't. It was the day I was saved. My Savior Jesus Christ found his 1 lost sheep and made room by His side for me. Now stake pres, you go on believing in a prophet, Joseph Smith, a prophet that makes it okay to change lanes when something isn't going his way, when a roadblock is looking more and more like a dead end and instead of leading his sheep to a safe detour he bails out leaving his followers to crash and burn alone. POLYGAMY. It was all good until the world started to condemn those who practiced it then suddenly it was no longer safe. They were lead to a dead end, they crashed alone. Tell me something stake pres, how many wives can you have in a temple marriage? Oh Yeah, it will be okay once again, in heaven where you will no longer have to hide. Don't have pity on me, I am right where God put me, in his arms and I wont need a secret passage to cross in order to reserve a seat next to my Lord, I already have an invitation, General population. I leave you with my testimony, When the missionaries find out I have left the LDS church they always ask the same thing, "Linda, please pray again for an answer about the church." I tell them, "Brothers, I will do that if you can prove to me one thing, when JS prayed and got his vision, his answer, did he question it? Did he pray and ask again? I have prayed, I received my answer and I will NEVER question it again." I have a personal relationship to my Savior Jesus Christ, something I pray everyone will find because it is so peaceful. God Bless you and I will pray for you.

Linda said...

P S There is one thing I want to make perfectly clear, I am not DAMAGED by the hurtful words of my past experiences in the LDS church. That is one thing that totally irritates me, is every time something goes wrong with one of your followers you automatically think it is due to some bad past experience. Maybe that works for others that are still holding on for a miracle to make things all better by the way of the LDS church, but its not for me. I am not hurt, wounded or confused. I am SAVED

Utahhiker801 said...

It almost makes me sad to see that Linda doesn't realize that this blog is actually satire.

Ugh. Great. Now I've gone and posted on a blog and it will CLEARLY show that it was during the time I should have been watching conference. Great. Now I have to repent. Again.

I could offer up that I'll just read the talks later, but let's be honest, I'm usually too busy doing home teaching.

Linda said...

Utahhiker801 I cant stop laughing, you are so funny. To tell you the truth, my blogging is to see what text the stake pres uses to conquer my statements. Oh no, its contagious, now they will see I did a blog during conference as well. Thanks. LOL I gave up home teaching for crafts. Its much funner, no one hides when the bell rings and no one falls asleep.

Stake Pres. said...
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Linda said...

Utahhiker801 I love you!!!!!!!!!!! Oh no, is that an appropriate blog? I am such a sinner. What was Brother Packer's talk about? I wasn't listening.

BestFriend said...

Linda,

Your story is heart refreshing & thank you for sharing it. I hope others struggling will see too what you found, that Jesus offers more than any church or man. I'm glad you know God & have His peace!!

President,

Your calling & election is made sure, so what are you worried about - you don't get condemned!

Linda said...

I better be nice cuz now I'm just being rude. Sorry if I offended anyone on this blog. God bless.

Linda said...

Thank you BestFriend. When I was struggling so hard I lost what I called a true friend. When she found out I was struggling with my faith she sent me many many scriptures out of the book of morman, she sent me many links to talks that came from other LDS people, she said it would answer all my questions and put faith back in my heart. When I asked her one question, "past all the books and talks, how do you know its true?" Where in the Bible does it read There will be a man named Joseph Smith who the Lord appointed to bring forth the LDS church and make it the only true church on the earth till the earth is no more?" I asked her, "Please, help me understand." She wrote, "Linda, I am sorry you cant feel the spirit anymore, you are truly lost. We can no longer be friends." After that I lost 90% of my friends. I felt alone until God reached down with his love and picked me up, putting me on a path that would never fade again. I have new friends, they all share my path and there is infinite space for all to come. God Bless your kind words.

BestFriend said...

Linda,

Wow, what you said would go well with he latest blog from President Paternoster about shunning evil influencing friends. Perhaps the friend you were refering to was following the advice of that talk? Your experience is the other side of what happens & I think it is good for people to see what shunning does.

Linda said...

Stake pres, do you have anything to say to my question of Polygamy? I would welcome your input because it is on thing I dont understand. Why it was practiced by out prophets but now a sin. Please help me to understand your point.

Buckley said...

President, the basic premise about homosexuality is demeaning. Being gay is not a weakness to be overcome. It is not a handicap,an affliction, a tendency, or a choice. Science shows that it is an inherent condition and cannot be changed. Official Church position agrees with that.
Saying that "All are welcome in the Church" means more than "We won't ridicule you and slam the door in your face." It means we can worship fully, participate in the ordinances, bear our testimonies, teach classes, lead quorums, pray for the congregation, pay our tithing, and raise our children in a safe and nurturing environment. The Church does not allow LEGALLY MARRIED gay couples to do anything except show up and sing. That isn't "All are welcome in the Church."

Stake Pres. said...
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Manly Man McManerson said...

President Paternoster, can I have your babies? Or will you please have mine? I'm happy either way.

Anonymous said...

This blog post gave me heart palpitations.

Anonymous said...

Everyone willing to honestly think about it will know that a persons sexuality is a choice of that person. I'm sure that all of you, (just like me) can remember the day you chose your sexual orientation. I remember that day in junior high when I chose to walk home with Cheryl and held her hand. I look back on that choice with happiness and satisfaction. My choice to be heterosexual has been one of the best decisions I have ever made.

Franklin said...

So I do not understand why the church would say certain things in public and other things in conference. Basically, the church is saying that being homosexual is a curable disease. I don't understand why god would create a human being to be homosexual if it is so horrible. Obviously the church doesnt believe god created people that way, but how would you explain a 4 year old boy wanting to be a princess for Halloween or when he gets a little older being physically attracted to another boy? A 4 year old can't " make a choice" to be gay. That is literally how they are born. Someone can easily be born straight, but they sure as hell can't be born gay, right?

Insana D said...

Dear President Paternoster, You always give me such wise counsel and I appreciate you so much. I have a potential dilemma that I'm very concerned about and need your experience and guidance to help me figure out how to appropriately react.

My Never-Mormon husband has a step daughter from his first marriage that is a very masculine woman. I suspect that she's a Lesbian as well as her live in roomate. Both women could make Arnold Schwarzenegger feel a bit girly. They've shared housing for over 20 years now so I know that they must be very close.

My step-step daughter has two children, one from a normal traditional encounter with a real man and the other is rumored to have been fathered by a kitchen utinsil. Both children seem to have not caught her affliction and are pursuing heterosexual relationships.

She recently graduated from college and when she's gainfully employed she plans to come visit. I suspect her roommate will come as well and I'm curious how I should arrange the sleeping situation.

I cannot condone a lesbian relationship since it is so much against God's will and the leaders of the church have told us many times that while we can be tacitly polite, we should never indicate that we approve because this only encourages people engaged in sin to continue.

I really shouldn't judge since I have had many of my own morality (or should I say "immorality") challenges. I may have slept with numerous men between my first husband and my recent husband but at least I haven't committed the grave sin of homosexuality.

Although I sometimes wonder if Beyonce or Jennifer Lopez couldn't tempt me to switch teams....funny that I mention that because now that Sandra Bullock is single again my Godless Heathen husband has inferred that he'd consider a plural marriage with her and I and if she shared our bed I may also be tempted to enjoy her delicious looking hips. Anyway, I digress.

What I'm wondering is if I should reflect my righteous stance by asking them to stay in separate bedrooms or send the roommate to stay at a hotel? We have been counseled to stay steadfast and unyielding in our moral values and if I allowed them to stay in the same room they may be tempted to act on their unnatural instincts.

I would hate my own home to be defiled in such a way or for others to see that I harbored such wanton lewd behavior in my own home. I worry that if I were to be too hospitable and allow them to consummate under my roof that when I am finally able to quell my own carnal instincts and prepare myself for a temple recommend that I wouldn't be able to correctly answer the question ,"Do you associate with any people or groups that fight against the church" (at least I think thats what the question is.). I fear for my own eternal progression if I were to sanction such a union.

Also, do you know of any nice men in their early 40's who like large masculine women? I'd like to fix her up if she comes and I think if I found the right man she may be able to put off her temporary interest in women.

Please advise soon because who knows when a gay person or couple may stop by and I'd like to know how to react in advance. Should I write up a contract that commits them to avoid sinful fornication (since they aren't legally married in this state) while in my righteous home?

Also, is it rude to make them stay on the porch when they come over and to use a hand sanitizer after they touch me?

Would you be so kind as to help me write up the correct wording for this contract. I'm sure there's something in the scriptures or LDS Bishops handbook that could give it just the perfect tone.

Also, I meant that should "I" sanitize my hands after touching a gay person, not the other way around. I may be a fornicator but I'm not gay!! Boy, that would be disgusting!

Drgman said...

I love this guy. What a great Stake President. One unlike any I have seen. He discloses "I responded absolutely not. If homosexuality can be proven to be inborn then this church and the whole plan of salvation are man made." Man made. The whole plan of salvation and this church." He closes his remarks "in the sacred name of Jesus Christ" Oh no, now I doubt the mormons and Jesus Christ.

Anonymous said...

People, this isnt a real Stake President, its satire. He is pocking fun at LDS views. He won a Brodie award, for humor mocking the church. Understand there will be those who pose to undermine the faith of others. Special place in hell for you all. Dont worry, i will visit, and bring the marshmellows.

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous
Oh, no, are you serious? Is it satire? I have read the blog for weeks and felt the spirit grow more and more everytime. You can't be right. You have destroyed my testimony.

And while you visit us could you bring popcorn as well, while you sing that wonderful spiritual song about the blessed popping corns.