Monday, October 24, 2011

O Canada may BYU Receive thy Tithes evermore

Brothers and Sisters several of you have expressed deep concern over the testimony of Jon Hare of whom I spoke on May 30th in my post entitled “President Paternoster discloses how Tithing helps the poor and needy.” To refresh your memory please re-read this post before continuing, at this link:

http://stakepresident.blogspot.com/2011/05/president-paternoster-discloses-how.html

You will recall that Brother Hare had been concerned that the Church didn’t disclose where tithing money went and that it wasn’t being used to help the poor as per the scriptures.  I was able to show him that this was not the case at all.

Brother Hare excitedly rang me last night and asked if I remembered how the Church over in Canada had given 40 million dollars to BYU in 2009.  I confirmed that I remembered this and we discussed how wonderful it was that the paid cleaning staff who were Church members had been relieved of their responsibilities allowing them to seek more gainful employment and giving all members an equal opportunity to clean the chapels. 

Brother Hare said that he had heard people complaining online about this and had started to see their point of view but had remembered my words of assurance wherein I prophesied that due to this move the Church would be able to help BYU even more in 2010.

Brother Hare couldn’t hold it in any longer and through tears told me that the Church in Canada did indeed do better in 2010 for instead of being able to give just 40 million dollars to BYU (as in 2009) they were able to give over *102 million dollars! 

Brother Hare then bore his testimony stating that he now knew of a certainty that it is not men but the Lord who is at the helm guiding this church and the decisions of the leaders.  While telling the cleaning staff that they were being let go due to the economy must have been heartbreaking the fruits of that decision are now clearly apparent for all to see. 

Tears streamed down my face as I thought of how immensely proud and happy the members in Canada must be to have contributed such a large amount to BYU.

Brother Hare told me of how some critics thought the Church should re-hire the cleaning staff who had lost their jobs but we discussed how if they did that they wouldn’t be able to make such a generous offering to BYU going forward.  We talked of how the Lord surely knows that BYU needs it more and Brother Hare made a great point when he said “it’s not like the cleaning staff don’t get to clean anymore.” 

I told Brother Hare that the Lord knew that in addition to attending the temple, doing their home and visiting teaching and magnifying their callings if members were to use their free time mopping the chapel floors, dusting the artwork and cleaning the toilets they would feel the spirit and there would be an increase in testimony.  He knew that this program would bring back the less active, hasten the baptism of the investigator, move the work forward and ultimately increase the ability of the Church in Canada to do good in the world; for thus saith the lord “my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways.”  

I am proud to be a member of this worldwide Church with its ability to bring sacred funds originating from other countries into Utah where the headquarters are located.  Not only is most of the money donated from the members in Canada going to the benefit of Utah but as mentioned in a recent post of mine the Church has been able to put billions of dollars into beautifying Salt Lake City with the building of a mall and condominiums.  It is my hope that the extra funds from all countries will end up in Utah where it is so desperately needed and can accomplish the most good. 

Brother Hare went on to point out that while the Church does humbly publicize and take credit for much of its humanitarian and other charitable work throughout the world through **press releases and its Humanitarian Aid website it has chosen the path of humility and non disclosure in this case. The record of it cannot be found except on the Canada Revenue Agency website.  Some things are just too sacred to talk about and I applaud the Church for their humility in this case which is in complete accordance with Matthew 6:3-4: But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth: That thine alms may be in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.”

Brothers and Sisters I know without a shadow of doubt that the Church is true, that Joseph Smith was and is a prophet of God and that the Lord is at the helm gently directing and guiding the affairs of his kingdom upon the earth.  To the saints in Canada I want you to know that I President Paternoster am proud of you.  May God bless you for your willingness to sacrifice 10 percent of your incomes and in some cases even your employment such that the Lords University may continue to operate in truth and righteousness.

Lovingly,

The President

*http://www.cra-arc.gc.ca/ebci/haip/srch/t3010form22gifts-eng.action?b=119223758RR0001&e=2010-12-31&n=THE+CHURCH+OF+JESUS+CHRIST+OF+LATTER-DAY+SAINTS+IN+CANADA&r=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cra-arc.gc.ca%3A80%2Febci%2Fhaip%2Fsrch%2Ft3010form22-eng.action%3Fb%3D119223758RR0001%26amp%3Be%3D2010-12-31%26amp%3Bn%3DTHE%2BCHURCH%2BOF%2BJESUS%2BCHRIST%2BOF%2BLATTER-DAY%2BSAINTS%2BIN%2BCANADA%26amp%3Br%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.cra-arc.gc.ca%253A80%252Febci%252Fhaip%252Fsrch%252Fbasicsearchresult-eng.action%253Fs%253Dregistered%2526amp%253Bk%253Dlatter-day%2526amp%253Bb%253Dtrue%2526amp%253Bp%253D2

 


49 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you dear President P., I know that all you are saying is true.

As a sheep from a European country I am overjoyed to hear that my past tithing contributions have helped a worthy cause of BYU and downtown SLC instead of going to those less-worthy people in the third world who would squander it on food, water and schools. It makes me feel SO proud! Thank you for a living prophet.

I am proud that "by their actions ye shall know them" is coming to pass and the glory of God is made manifest in His Church.

Rudi

Brother Heber said...

One aspect of the increase funds to the Lord's University is the immense financial needs of the football program. Now that we are no longer affiliated with a conference we have lost all of those guaranteed funds that accompany conference membership (TV deals, guaranteed bowl bids etc).
How wise is our prophet, even Thomas S Monson, for foreseeing the need for these extra funds. In part these funds will guarantee that our University, even the Lord's University, will be able to continue it's dominance on the gridiron (that is another name for a football field for all you soccer loving communists across the pond) and thus let it's light shine on a mountain.

kolobian said...

What a wonderful and sacred work we noble and great ones are engaged in!

Although I was not found worthy to enter the Lord's University I am so grateful I have the opportunity to give such a large percentage of my income to such a glorious institituion.

Anti-mormon detractors working for Lucifer and his minions will no doubt use this as an example of why the church is really a greedy corporation run by an emperor with no clothes, but that is only what you see when viewing this work with "temporal eyes."

We in the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints are concerned with the spiritual and eternal salvation of all mankind. Let the other false religions of the world worry themselves about the temporal salvation of the world.

Some say we should use all of our donations to feed the poor, care for the widows, and provide basic necessities to all of Heavenly Father's children.

I rebuke these hippies in the name of Jesus Christ!

Did not the savior say, "take no thought for the morrow?" or "consider the lillies of the field?"

The earth provides food abundantly and without cost. Let the hungry of the earth pray for manna from heaven. Let them eat fruits off the trees and berries off the bush.

But if they want a first-rate education with a surety that their minds will not be poisoned by the doctrines of men mingled with scripture, let them join the one true church of god, pay an honest tithe, and be found worthy to enter the Lord's University!

If only I had known as a child what I know now. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Anonymous said...

Please do not believe what this guy is saying. Tithes are not used to support BYU, or buildup downtown SLC. I do not believe this guy is a real LDS Stake President. Other things being posted are not in sink with LDS Church doctrine.
Barbh46

kolobian said...

Dear Anonymous,

It is apparent that you are working for the church of the devil in that you are attempting to lead people astray with your uninformed opinions about the divinity of President Paternoster's calling.

Two things I would admonish you to do:

1. Repent and come unto Christ. He is the way, the truth, and the life. There is no other by which we may be saved. Once you have repented of your transgressions and come unto Christ he will witness to you by the power of the holy spirit that the words of President Paternoster are true.

2. Take the 5 seconds out of your busy anti-mormon schedule and click on the provided links. They are evidence that our faithful brothers and sisters in canada are contributing their sacrifices to the building up of the Lord's University.

Please hold true to the iron rod. The fruit of the tree of life is delicious to the taste and very desirable. You can know this for yourself if you stay faithful to the words of the Lord spoken by the mouths of his servants, including dear President Paternoster.

In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Jesus Smith said...

Seems to me, it's a great money laundering gig. BYU is an academic institution and Canadian law doesn't tax moneys going to these institutions like it does for money used to build churches and uphold them. LDSinc can push money across international lines without taxes. Once in the US, BYU can use the money however it wishes, including sending it to its founder LDSinc. Does BYU have financial transparency or hidden like LDSinc?

Chris S said...

College aged youth are one of the hardest demographics to keep in the church. Young people who attend and graduate from BYU are likely to marry in the temple at a young age, have children early in their marriage, raise their families in the church, and serve the church faithfully for the rest of their lives. With this in mind, I think that it is a good idea to spend a lot of tithing money on BYU as it helps to insure the long-term spiritual health of the church. Incidentally, I would bet that a high percentage of BYU grads are full tithe-payers, meaning that they help to finance the spiritual development of the next generation of Cougars.

This truly is an inspired work, brothers and sisters!

Anonymous said...

Barbh46

For full disclosure, I am an active, tithe-paying member of the church. Pres. Paternoster is NOT a Stake President. Was he one at some time? I don't know.

This blog is all TIC. He, and all of the commenters, are disaffected members or exmembers of the church.

They are poking fun at things in the church. Unfortunetly there is much to make fun of.

And, as a BYU grad, they make it abundantly clear that tithing subsidizes BYU to the tune of 60-80%. This cannot be argued.

Downtown Salt Lake, is a different issue. No direct tithing funds are used, but esentially all funds the church has comes from tithing. So, if a church-owned business makes a profit, and that profit is used to build a mall, it isn't directly tithing funds, but the original funds were.

Please realize that nobody on here making the comments is an active, believing mormon...least of all Pres. Paternoster.

Sara

JohnGalt_UT said...

Barbh46,

I happen to disagree. I am aware that many of the members of my ward consider me a 'hard-liner' for wanting to live by both the spirit and letter of the law. For instance, I am often mocked as 'paranoid' because I have obeyed the prophet's counsel and stored a full year's supply of food, water, and fuel. Perhaps you feel the same way about people like me.

I also know that many readers of this blog assume it is satirical because President P. (not sure if he is a real Stake President) is also a 'hard-liner,' who does not soften the doctrine to accommodate social conventions. I don't agree with him 100%, but I find that he generally backs up his statements with authoritative sources.

True, many of the commenters seem to have a mocking spirit, but don't dismiss us all as 'disaffected members or exmembers of the church.' I spend most of my time at church having to defend myself for my decision to fully commit to the gospel (even if that makes me 'weird'), and I wish the sarcastic commenters would leave us alone, but my experience is that those of us who wish to follow the iron rod have to endure the jeers of the great and spacious building...at church and online.

fproy2222 said...

[wherein I prophesied that due to this move]

Here we have another proof that you," Stake Pres." are not truly a Stake President in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

If you were, you would know that your authority from God does not include what you are saying you are doing.

fred

Anonymous said...

President,

You're simply the best! Period! Can't wait to read your next post!

Brigham Taft Pratt said...

What Jesus chooses to do with his money is really none of our business. Just like the primitive church, the Lord's church today has for-profit and not-for-profit entities. Did Jesus or the apostles ever discuss what they did with all of these sacred funds in the New Testament? No. Did 3rd Nephi ever discuss what he did with all of the Senines and Senums? No. Why not? Because the Prophets of the Lord have no need to answer to anyone.

It is important for us to keep in mind that if Jesus were on the earth today, he would personally be overseeing the Canadian cash flow into BYU and the Luxury condo/mall development in Salt Lake City. Do we not realize that when we question the Brethren's decisions on these matters, we are actually questioning Jesus himself? Now if that isn't a wake up call, I don't know what is! Thank you for today's post President.

ps. I would also add my witness to the many voices that have testified to the inspired decision to lay off janitorial staff in order to spread the blessings of cleaning to more members. I believe the day will come when the entire Church Educational System staff will be served their walking papers as well. When that day comes I will be ready to answer the call to serve.

Emma Snyde said...

John Galt_UT,

Good for you!

I know I got a lot of weird looks as I packed my wheat berries and dried beans in plastic buckets with dry ice. But I know that when the time comes that men's hearts shall fail them, I will be able to make delicious fudge with my dry beans that I will be able to barter with when money is no longer worth the paper it is printed on. Brigham Young prophesied that the time would come when a bushel of wheat would be worth more than its weight in gold. You and I will be ready!

Also, I want to thank those church janitorial employees who so faithfully and willingly gave up their jobs. I can't begin to tell you how much my family and I have been blessed by the opportunity to clean the chapel! When we walk in on Sunday morning after a Saturday spent scrubbing the toilets and wiping the glass doors, I can see the joy in my children's eyes knowing that they have participated in beautifying the house of the Lord. Often times, the young and men and young women of the ward will do extra deep cleaning on activity nights. My daughters have been privileged to help many times in this fun and rewarding activity. We live in the U.S., so church expenditures in our ward is not available for us to see. But the Spirit whispers to me that much of our tithing money and money saved from janitorial paychecks is sent to edify the young people at BYU, the future of our beloved church!

Cynthia said...

I had a strange thing happen in this regard, President! I called the church office building, intending to make a substantial contribution....with the proviso that NONE of it go to BYU. I told the man at the COB that I was a University of Utah graduate.

President, you can imagine my tears when he said, "We don't want your filthy lucre!"

fproy2222 said...

[I called the church office building, intending to make a substantial contribution]

Pres, even your followers do not know how things are done in the LDS Church.

Another evedance you are a fake.

fred

One Who Has Faith said...

Fred,

I have never seen anyone who screamed so loudly for a sign. You are probably an adulterer, at the very least you are certainly addicted to pornography and all it's filthy vile.

I have had a spiritual experiance where I have come to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that President Paternoster is truly an angel sent from God and a man among men among the leaders of the Lord's stakes of Zion.

God bless you President Paternoster.

And Fred, may the Lord soften your heart which clearly revels in hidden transgression.

Sincerely,
One who has faith...

Anonymous said...

Faith indeed precedes the miracle. I have little doubt that Canada's support for BYU exceeds that of Greece, both in magnitude and rate of increase. Surely it is no coincidence that the Canadian 10-year government bond today yields 2.35%, while its Greek counterpart yields 24.74%. This is dramatic proof that greater worthiness leads to greater credit-worthiness, as promised in Holy Scripture.

Spencer said...

Barbh46 is right. Some of the comments and even Pres Paternoster's teachings are not, in fact, in the sink with LDS doctrine.

This is because no unhallowed sink, bathtub, spittoon, or chamber pot can possibly contain (and thereby thwart) the fullness of the gospel contained in the Book of Mormon, though they smell very similar due to the artifice of Satan.

Bishop Wigglesworth said...

Although I don't live in Canada, I know that I would be thrilled to contribute to the Lord's University or to any other project which the brethren deem appropriate.

Many of you miss the point of the law of tithing: it is about obedience and nothing more. Telling the Lord what he can spend our money on is ark steadying. Once the money leaves our pockets it is NONE of our business what happens to it. Whether the Lord wants to purchase luxury cars for mission presidents or build shops in Utah, it doesn't matter - I repeat, it's none of our business.

We will be blessed for paying our tithing. We will not be burned at the last day. That's all that matters.

Anonymous said...

President Paternoster,

Please create a Facebook page so we can follow you more fully. I realize that the internet can be a dangerous tool of the devil, but it could also be used to spread the work and word of God.

thatwilldo said...

To Barbh46 & Fproy2222,

In the name of Jesus Christ I rebuke you. Your anti-mormon agenda is a futile attempt at puffing yourselves up in the name of pride.

I have knelt in prayer and asked Heavenly Father with a broken heart and a contrite spirit if President Paternoster's words are true, just like Moroni advised us to do.

I felt a powerful witness that his words were true, and this witness was confirmed after I followed the links he provided back to LDS approved sources.

Now, answer me this: If I can pray to Heavenly Father and receive a witness that President Paternoster's words are true, and you say he is a fraud, what does that say about Heavenly Father?

Does that mean my witness of the Book of Mormon is no longer evidence that Joseph Smith was and is a prophet of god? How can the Book of Mormon be true AND Joseph Smith be a fraud? How can President Paternoster's words be true AND he be a fraud?

God's house is a house of order. The Holy Spirit would never testify to the words of a fraud, and a fraud would never testify of Jesus Christ.

I know President Paternoster is a stake president. I know the book of mormon is true. I know Joseph Smith was and is a prophet as is Thomas S. Monson. And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Cynthia said...

fproy2222....how strange you are! I DID call the church office building to make a large contribution. You DID know that they have a whole department dedicated to individual contributions of substance....

It appears to me that YOU are the disaffected and callow soul who is desperately trying to destroy a worthy man's blog.

May I suggest that you try therapy, or in lieu of that, just get lost!

Anonymous said...

I have added the avatar fproy2222 to the prayer rolls of the temple. Dude, we are praying for you...all of us...in unison...that you will repent of your wicked, evil, perverse, pornographic mind melting and pedophilic ways. We hope you can return once again to the fold and enjoy the blessings of the spirit. We hope that you will feel this spiritual boost over the next few days. Here's a big five point fellowship hug!

Anonymous said...

Ooops...I'm dating myself...let's skip the five pointer...a simple hand shake will do...

wowbagger said...

President

Thank you for this useful information. i felt chills up and down my spine as i read your blessed words.

This is doubly generous of our Canadian members, since they are required by the Lord's university to post $4000 prior to enrolling. May God continue to bless our frozen northern neighbors, as the over subsidize this hallowed place of matrimonial introduction and pedagogical excellence.

with infinite prolongement

Cindy said...

Sometimes there are things that we do because we feel they are the right thing to do. God has given us everything all he asks is that we return part of it back to him. It's the right thing to do, it's that simple. What happens to that money really doesn't matter, it's the giving of it that we need to focus on.

Rose said...

Barbh46 what President Paternoster is saying very much much in sink with LDS teachings. The gospel was not meant to be easy but that does not mean it's wrong. I agree with JohnGalt_UT that many on here do not take what President Paternoster is saying seriously but that does not mean that what he is saying isn't true. fproy2222 I'm not sure what you meant when you said that President Paternoster didn't have the authority to say what he said. Are you telling me that somewhere in the rules of the church it says if you are a Stake President that you can not discuss tithing on line with others? Or are you refering to how in a privite conversation with Bro. Hare he perdicted the church would be able to donate more money the following year? Have you ever predicted something to a friend? Both seem to be pretty lame reasons for determining whether or not he is or ever was a Stake President.
Making the statement on here that everyone who posts is disaffected or an exmormon would have to include yourself. I am neither. I enjoy the posts, I enjoy the things I learn from them, I don't see anything wrong with what is being said and I find it in harmony with the teachings of the church. I'm not surprised that there are people on here making fun of it through satire. The truth is hard to handle sometimes and it's unfortunante that there isn't more people providing real sincere support to this blog.

Mahonri Kimball said...

Regarding fproy2222;
I was inspired by what annon said about putting fproy2222 on the prayer roles of the temple. I would hope that all the faithful members who read these posts would be willing to do the same. How many of us are there? What if 100 of us each put in 20 pieces of paper with fproy222 scribbled on them? Surely the Lord could not hold back his power against 2000 requests that he personally intervene and rebuke the evil spirit that has taken possession of fproy222. Please send a request to everyone you know to write fproy's name on as many pieces of paper at the temple as is humanly possible. I know that if we do this that it will not be long before fproy2222 comes on board and is willing to embrace the truth.

JohnGalt_UT said...

Guys, let's ease up on fproy2222. This is why the Brethren only give us the 'milk' an withhold the 'meat' of the doctrine; because some people are simply not ready for the full celestial law. A lot of the posts on this blog deal with 'meat.' Those of us who are ready for it should rejoice, but let's not be too quick to judge those who might not be as far along on their spiritual journey. We all have to start from the beginning.

fproy2222, am I right in assuming that you are a fairly recent convert to the church?

Joseph K. Packer said...

To Barbh46 and fproy2222 I have to tell you what our beloved apostle Dallin H. Oaks said: "It is wrong to criticize the leaders of the church even if the criticism is true!" I know that President Paternoster will receive inspiration on how to help you with your crisis of faith. But you have to believe. So if he helps you is because you exercised your faith and if he is unable to help if because your lack of faith. Another thing is that if you continue questioning the veracity and validity of President Paternoster's calling You are calling for Satan to possess you.
Be careful not to fall on that. remember how Laman and Lemuel complained about the calling of their father and how their lives were destroyed due to thier lack of faith.
I boldly testify to you in the name of Jesus Christ even our savior that these things are true. Follow the advice of your leaders or you will be damned. but if you follow their advice you will be blessed. In the sacred name of Jesus Christ Amen

Anonymous said...

John_GaltUT said,
This is why the Brethren only give us the 'milk' an withhold the 'meat'.

Gotta be careful here....speak slowly, verbalize...and explain that "milk" is defined as the simple things of the gospel. The "meat" is the more complex doctrines of the gospel....I'm afraid that fproy2222 might...with his exposure to porn and other vile, worldly influences and without the light of the gospel... could interpret this contextually as sexual inuendo...

fproy2222...we are here for you!

fproy2222 said...

[fproy2222, am I right in assuming that you are a fairly recent convert to the church?]

nope,

I have been around long enough to know that the actions and teachings of “stake pres” do not conform what a true Stake President in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints would do.


fred

Anonymous said...

fproy2222....I just love being able to reach out to you in this way. It's almost like we are assigned best friends forever (abff)...I think I'm going to call this a home teaching visit this month....and I'm early!

Rob said...

Fred, what is it that President Paternotster does that a Stake President of the Church of Latter-days would not do? For some reason I thought that Stake Presidents came in all shapes, sizes and colour of character.

Why is it that you insist on attacking his character. Why not just address what he is saying, with specifics. What he says in his blog is in harmony with what the church teaches, directly or indirectly and he always provides the links to support that. If he was just making things up maybe you would have a case but he is not so what you are doing just makes you look comepletely close-minded and judgemental.

Anonymous said...

fproy2222...Pres. Hinckley's talk is engraved solidly in my memory....all you need is a friend, a calling and.... something else ...doesn't matter...cuz we love you man. I am sure if Pres. Paternoster held the ecclesiatical keys for your home ward (which he might)...he would have you on his high council to help nourish and strengthen your testimony....(ooh...getting hungry)....hang in there Fred....and stay out of those anti-mormon sites....they just don't uplift like the presidents good blog.

ITNOJC,
Amen

Mahonri Kimball said...

How many of you good people are helping our brother in the gospel by putting his name through the temple as many times as possible? I have seen the value of putting names through the temple many times in my life. I know that putting someones name on a piece of paper and sending it though the temple to be prayed on can truly work miracles! Many prayers joined together increase the chance of success. I have found that putting a name in only once frequently attracts little attention to the problem. If putting a name through once, does some good, doing it 1000 times is 1000 times as good. Please help, this is a chance to help someone regain the spirit of truth!

fproy2222 said...

Rob--[Fred, what is it that President Paternotster does that a Stake President of the Church of Latter-days would not do?]

Invest the time to read and study the comments in the last few threads for part of that answer.

If you were a member of the "Mormon" Church and active in the Lords administration of His Church, you would have no need to ask that question. You would see how pp does not live up to calling he claims to have.

fred

Rob said...

I agree that a Stake President probably would not have a blog like this but the point I'm trying to make is that if you look beyond the frills (statire)you will see that what is being said in the authors posts is accurate information. It just depends on how you personally wish to internalize it. I don't think you should judge "President Paternoster" by the comments people make on here either. That is unfair. Just because I chose to take the good from this blog (ie the information that gets sited and referenced)and not be offended at it does not give you or anyone else the right to make accusatons of whether or not I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saint. I have no idea what you mean by "active in the Lords administration of His Church". I am not an administatin staff I'm just a member trying to learn. I would rather know what seemingly "outrageous things" are out there for people to try to attack about my church and deal with it in a possitive way then be all angry and judgemental. So Canada gave BYU 102 million dollars, so what. I pay tithing because I feel it is a commandment, what happens to the money is not a determination as to whether or not I should pay it.

Anonymous said...

Freddy,

When I home teach I always try to give solid, practical advice (this is bonus material from the the inspiration from the Ensign). Whenever I get up tight over little issues I go to my massage therapist for a deep, penetrating muscle massage...it is the best. In fact, the results are astounding....my neck is less stiff and I could swear that my bowels and sinues are renewed and strenghtened (bran muffins help too). It's not always the cheapest experience but talk about a great feeling.....Fred, I've really enjoyed getting to know you...turn off the computer and get a massage!

James Mitchell said...

Dearest Friends,

Let's have a prayer for Fred. I think if we close our eyes, and imagine ourselves in a prayer circle in the temple we can get the same miraculous results temple prayer circles get. Ready, repeat these words:

Dear Heavenly Father. We thank thee for Brother Fred, who loves thee so much that he wishes to defend thee from thine own servant, President Paternoster and P. Paternoster's friends. We pray, Father, that Fred's heart will be softened, and he will see the truth. We pray that he will no longer affiliate himself with evil websites. But if he does, Father, we pray that the people on such websites will have a little fun with him. Father, we ask you to bless Fred's family, that they will never find out that Fred has visited those websites. We ask thee to help him remember to clear his internet history after each use. And, oh Father, we pray that he never repeat what he learned upon looking at the Canadian Government's official records, because in they true country, the USA, they true people are not allowed to know where their donations go. We pray for Fred, Father. In the name of they beloved Son, even Jesus the Christ, Amen.

sholyhit said...

AMEN,

Wow, I felt that with every fibre of my body. Could you feel that Fred...holding onto the rod is so much easier when we all do it the circle. We should do this again...real soon!

BEEFEE BURRITO said...

Prezidente Paternoster,

I been leestening to Mr. Fred - hes not so good mormone. I get bad espirit when I read. Maybe we need to haf a especal meeting to chop him outta da church. I jus saying dat he not so happee. Whaddyu thin?

Beefee Burrito

George said...

I know that I'm very grateful for the generous Canadian Saints. For the past 3 1/2 years, my first-born child has been basking in the glow of The Everlasting Hills (and Jimmer) as she gains a higher education. She has also learned about going tunnel-singing. Though I have helped her with her living expenses, she has been attending BYU tuition-free due to her grades, and the wonderful Canadian Saints. Bless them that they could provide the funds so that I didn't have to.

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't be surprised if this guy is for real. Just look at the list of their rules, all 167 of them

www.lds4u.com/Missionaries/rules.htm

Anonymous said...

So President Paternoster...

What stake are you the Stake President of?

Verle Jensensen said...

He's my Stake President.

C. Verlene Christy Christensen said...

Yeah, he's my stake president, too, the Bountiful Hills Foothills Hills 13th Stake.

And, you guys crack me up so much that I finally made it through a Monday with a smile on my face!

Dr. Rangi said...

I thought I would finally post a comment regarding the transfer of tithing funds from Canadian saints to BYU. I am in an excellent position to make such a statement as I live in Southern Alberta, Canada (commonly known as 'the Utah of the North')! I love you, true brothers and sisters, who defended the right for Canadian saints to donate, even without our knowledge, to BYU. I have compassion on, and will pray for, those who mock.

During the year in question, I donated 0.015% of the $102,900,000 that went to the Lord's University in the USA. I do not feel bitter about having these funds leave my country, as this was the will of the Lord. If this was not so then the mouthpiece of the Lord on earth would have been struck down! Clearly, Thomas S. is still alive, and doing very well by all accounts, just look at that youthful dark head of hair he sports -- it has not changed colour since I was born in the covenant over 40 years ago.

Just the other day, as I was cleaning a particularly sizeable 'donation', left in the Church toilets, I thought about how I could donate more funds. I spoke with my Bishop and he suggested that I give a generous fast offering. Although I was already doing so, I gave a little more. I have also agreed to pay for all of the cost necessary to send our young women to Girl’s Camp and all of the youth to EFY. Although the Lord can simply create money out of thin air, as he did with the loaves and fishes, He wants us to prove our worthiness. Oh, it is wonderful that I have the earthly means to help prop-up the Lord’s one and only true Church on the face of the earth! Long live the King (heavenly King, of course).

Anonymous said...

My child attends BYU on a full scholarship as well. I feel so blessed that the Canadian saints are so willing to pay for my child to attend the Lord's university, where he can learn to be a leader in the Kingdom of God, as well as graduate with a business degree so he can take over my business someday.

A few weeks ago, we took our travel-bus down to a warmer climate in another State and spent a few nights on our houseboat at the lake. I mentioned to my son how much money the Saints of Canada have given so he and other LDS students can attend BYU. He was very humbled.

Thank you, oh Saints of Canada.