Monday, November 28, 2011

Beware of Open-Mindedness

About a year ago I received a letter from Salt Lake telling me that Ronald Gray had requested that his name be removed from the records of the Church.  This is something that I have never allowed to happen under my watch and I pride myself on my unblemished record in this regard.  One time I had to quickly convene a stake disciplinary council to excommunicate someone who was determined to leave. Unfortunately nowadays the Church asks that we no longer take that course. 

I could hardly sleep for several days as I pondered this dilemma.  Brother Gray refused to meet with me telling my secretary that he didn’t need to see anyone and asking that his name removal take place at once.

After much fasting and prayer I decided to personally stop by Brother Gray’s house in order to find out who had offended him.  He reluctantly let me in. 

Brother Gray consented to starting our meeting with a word of prayer.  I asked the Lord that the spirit be present for our meeting such that we could make correct decisions with regards to Brother Gray’s eternal welfare and salvation.

I then took the time to thank Brother Gray for all his faithful service to the Lord and told him how much I have enjoyed hearing him bear his testimony and speak over the years.  I asked what had made him change his mind about the church. 

Brother Gray explained to me that over the years he has realized more and more just how close minded the Church and its members are and said he no longer wants any part of it.  When pressed for examples Brother Gray stated that he felt that the whole ‘one true church thing’ was ridiculous and prideful.  He didn’t like that missionaries were out there trying to convert those of other faiths especially those who had already accepted Christ.  He didn’t like that as an adult he couldn’t even make his own decision as to whether to drink things such as green tea without there being consequences to his Church membership.  Drawing attention to his face he mentioned he was growing a beard but that in this stake men who have beards are frowned upon and cannot serve in certain callings such as the high council and bishoprics.  Basically he had concluded that Mormons were just too narrow-minded for him.  

With my many years of experience and training as a Church leader I knew exactly which course to take.  Not knowing beforehand but trusting in the promptings of the spirit I asked Brother Gray if he had a copy of Apostle Bruce R. McKonkie’s book entitled Mormon Doctrine.  He said he did but that he didn’t think it was a credible book since it has been through several revisions and even went out of print last year.  I was able to explain to Brother Gray that many lessons in our current Church manuals quote from and refer back to Mormon Doctrine.  I offered to show him examples at but he said he believed me and conceded to go and get his copy.

Seeing that Brother Gray had fallen into the trap of accepting worldly views I decided to share with him the section on Broad-Mindedness from page 107. Below are some of the highlights of this section:
 “....broad-mindedness consists in entertaining liberal opinions and in having tolerant views, particularly on religious a very real sense this worldly broad-mindedness is of the devil.”  As a stake president I cannot emphasize enough how damaging it is to have tolerant attitudes towards the false belief systems that surround us in these latter days.   

Reminding Brother Gray that when men speak by the power of the Holy Ghost it should be taken as the mind of God and even as scripture I asked that he continue reading.  As he read the following an overwhelming feeling of warmth and peace came over the whole room:
“In the true gospel sense of the word, broad-mindedness is the state of mind of those who know the truths of the gospel, who reject the false creeds of the day, and who walk in the light of revealed truth.  The broad-minded man is the one who knows that baptism is essential to salvation and celestial marriage to exaltation……it is narrow-minded to reject the laws and ordinances of the gospel.”

After reading this Brother Gray’s whole demeanour changed.  His heart became softened and a look of enlightenment came over him as the effect of the truth of this prophetic statement entered his soul and penetrated every fiber of his being.  For some time he remained completely speechless.

Months later in stake conference a clean shaven Brother Gray would explain “Never did any statement come with more power to the heart of man than this did at this time to mine. It seemed to enter with great force into every feeling of my heart and I knew that it was true and that the Lord knew that I knew it.”

As the letter from Salt Lake burned in the fireplace Brother Gray and I knelt in humble prayer thanking the Lord for showing us the way.  The truth had set him free and he had seen for himself that the true meaning of being open minded was to accept the gospel as given by the one true religion upon the face of the earth today, even The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.


tweedmeister said...

President Paternoster,

I am so thankful for your leadership and for your inspiration. I am fighting a battle with open-mindedness in my own family. Family members have implored me to be more "open-minded" about things that I feel are of no consequence, such as the "truth," "homosexuality" (I hate it when they use such a filthy term to refer to same-gender attraction), and "history." Fortunately, I have retained my copy of Mormon Doctrine, and have not burned it as my family has asked me to do. Thank you so much for turning my eyes back to these inspirational words of Elder McKonkie. I will now be keeping McKonkie's great book in a prominent place in my home, where it can be seen by all who visit.

Anonymous said...

But the First Presidency found 1,000 errors in the book Mormon Doctrine. Were the brethren wrong? Why is the book no longer being published?

Anonymous said...

PS: I have an original second edition so I know the truth about the Holy Roman Catholic Church...

LaDell Tanner said...

What a blessing it is to read your inspired words each week president. We must heed the words of Brother McKonkey in these later latter-days more than ever before. I feel that I should share something with you all, my spirit brothers and sisters, that you might learn from my weakness. Recently, I allowed a homosexual to cut my hair, I ignored the whisperings of the spirit, which were telling me to loathe this man with all my heart might mind and strength, instead I was lulled by Satan into chuckling at his bawdy repartee, and soothed by his relaxing scalp massage, President I am embarrassed to say I even took the next step, yea I even booked a return appointment. This incident has left a black mark on my soul, and I am struggling each day to overcome the open-mindedness of which you speak. I say this in the name of blond-haired blue eyed Jesus Christ, Amen.

Anonymous said...

Bruce R. McDonkey was really inspired to write "Mormon Doctrine" in spite of its 1,000 errors, and the Book of Mormon is the most correct book on the face of the earth despite its many thousands of errors too. thank you for posting this, president. You are right every time. :-D

Stake Pres. said...

If there are errors they are the errors of man. Keep in mind that there are lots of ensign articles and current lessons in our manuals that quote directly from "Mormon Doctrine" so it remains a valid source book for much of what we teach today.

Insana D said...

WHEW!! I'm glad I read the whole essay because at first I thought you were counseling to avoid "Broad" mindedness, like Joseph Smith and Brigham Young and the amazing founding fathers of our fine religion practiced. It's never productive to examine or criticize their motives for taking on numerous women. Besides, most of those were spinsters and widows, some as old as 30.

President Paternoster, it's so refreshing to hear of a success story like this and of Brother Gray's return to the ONE AND ONLY true gospel on the face of the earth.

Too often we hear just the opposite, of hundreds of people leaving, sometimes whole families because they thought too much, looked too deep, asked too many questions and were too curious. They use those twin demons of Rationality and Reason to think their way right out of the church and into the arms of wanton worldly secular thinking. Some even reject the ALL KNOWING, ALL POWERFUL God of the Bible and become Atheists, Agnostics, Humanists, and even Free Thinkers.

They bring so much misery and shame on themselves and their families when they rely too much on the thinking of man and not the arbitrary mandates of God. I prey for their very souls.

I too have fallen into this tempting pit when I question some of the doctrine of the ONE TRUE CHURCH ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH. I'll let science magazines like National Geographic, Smithsonian, Scientific American, and Highlights invade my mind and start to make me question the biblical teachings of the creation of the earth and origins of mankind. I am ashamed to admit that I've even considered that perhaps the Bible isn't the perfect word of God, or that the Book of Mormon and other holy scriptures brought forth by learned and wise men like Joseph Smith and Bruce R. McKonkie might have a few technical errors that could erode the very foundations of the gospel. I shudder to think I could entertain such thoughts.

As always, you put the sort of foolish reliance on the teachings of man in place and helped bring a lost lamb back into the fold where he learned to be shorn, to comply, and to keep his eyes to the Master for all his thoughts and actions. Oh that we all could be like unto the humble sheep in the care of our savants of the great Shepherd, even Jesus the Christ.

Insana D said...

OOPS, I meant Pray, not Prey, and Servants, not Savants. Wow, big difference there.

Stake Pres. said...

Thank you Sister Dee for your wonderful thoughts and insights. Please consider cancelling your subscriptions to these so-called scientific magazines if they are causing you to lose your faith. The scriptures, the ensign and this blog should be more than enough to keep you on the straight and narrow path to eternal glory and exaltation.

kuri said...


While I agree with you 100% on the dangers of open-mindedness, I found this sentence troubling:

"Unfortunately nowadays the Church asks that we no longer take that course."

Since the Church is led by the Lord, whenever the Church asks us to do something, it's exactly the same as if the Lord himself told us to do it. Therefore nothing the Church asks us to do could possibly be "unfortunate."

I hope you will correct this "unfortunate" word choice in your otherwise excellent article.

Brother Heber said...

President, I cannot thank you enough for reminding me just how important Mormon Doctrine is to the church of Christ. Had it not been for this book I would not have learned many small and precious truths that have brought me closer to my Savior.
For example I would have never understood what happened to those that could not decide between following our Savior or following Satan in the pre existence. Were it not for the inspired work of Bruce R McConkie I would never have understood that these "fence sitters" were cursed with black skin and are denied the priesthood in this life. Unfortunately these plain and precious truths have fallen victim to the very thing you speak of, liberal thoughts and broad mindedness that exists even in our church.

If you would like to read the true words from an apostle of the Lord they are not found under the heading of African Americans or Blacks, they are found in the "N" section.

"Those who were less valiant in the pre-existence and who thereby had certain spiritual restrictions imposed upon them during mortality are know to us as the negroes. Such spirits are sent to earth through the the lineage of Cain, the mark put upon him for rebellion against God and his murder of Abel being a black skin. Noah's son Ham married Egyptus, a descendant of Cain, thus preserving the negro lineage through the flood.
Negros in this life are denied the priesthood; under no circumstances can they hold this delegation of authority from the almighty."

I leave testimony that these words are true but have been thrown asunder by liberal beliefs and open mindedness.

Stake Pres. said...

Tweedmeister thank you for putting Mormon Doctrine in a more prominent place in your home.

Thank you Kuri for pointing out that particular problematic sentence. We all need to repent of our attitudes from time to time and though it has been a few years since I have personally had to do this perhaps in this scenario a repentant heart would be adviseable.

Thank you Brother Heber for pointing out another of the wonderful truths to be found in this most inspiring book.

Insana D said...

Dear President Paternoster, I hate to even mention this but someone directed me to this absolutely awful site with a very uncouth name where an article about the many redacted doctrines and LDS books like Mormon Doctrine should be traded in for cash from the church to keep them from getting out into the hands of the naive public. I was so offended by this article that I couldn't stop seething. I would appreciate it if you would read it and help me craft a proper response to this vile person. I'm sure there's many good doctrinal and officially recognized more modern and politically correct statements that could disprove the idea that the church has participated in "redactifuckation" of important doctrine.

Here's the site. I appreciate your help:

Stake Pres. said...

Sister Dee I am disgusted at this blog post. Does he not realize that the gospel is the same yesterday, today and forever?
While we heed the words of our current leaders the words of those who have passed on are valid, inspiring and should be studied.
Please do not visit that awful blog again.

Cindy said...

Your post helped me to see things in a way I hadn't seen before. I had already discovered that it was close mindedness or lack of an open mind that often prevents others from excepting the gospel but I had never thought about the danger of "broad-minded" thinking. I now understand why our leaders emphasize the simplicity of the gospel. When we start trying to make the gospel fit into the world and the many different philosophies that are out there all we do is unnecessarily complicate things. There is a big difference between being respectful of others beliefs and being accepting of others beliefs. It is important to be respectful to those of others faiths but to maintain a proper perspective on things. Many churches do have parts of the truth but they do not have the whole truth. The only place where we can find real answers is through the church that is lead by Christ himself and that church is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

Joseph K. Packer said...

Seriously when I was 12 I met a black kid his name is/was Javier. He cried inconsolably when he found out that in Mormon Doctrine it said that he and his family had been "cowards" in the spiritual war in the pre-existence. This kid was scarred for life. The church always stated that B. R. McConkie wrote Mormon Doctrine on his own and that he was corrected many times. The church always ex-communicated the scientists that reported their findings but never ex-communicated Brother McConkie even though the damage that he caused to innocent souls was and is impossible to measure. While lying and hurting innocent people he rose in the ranks and died (thank God if there is one{that he died}) with a lot of power within the organization. Another imbecile is Boyd K. Packer, We are planning a party for his death and I hope that it is painful and slow. The only thing that I have to thank these two jackasses along with R. M. Ballard is that they all have been so incredibly and stupidly racists and bigots that even I noticed it and was able to leave the church.

Joseph K. Packer said...

I apologize to the annointed president and this blog. Obviously I was hacked, I would never dare to talk bad or criticize the leaders of the church "even if the criticism is true" I say my testimony that the church is true and that the true doctrine never changes and is the same since the beginning of the world. and I say these things in the name of the saint of israel even our savior Jesus Christ, Amen/

B. L. Hotchkiss III said...

Mr. President, you've done it again.

Today we all have earned what a wide and stage profit, seed, and regulator Apostle Bruce R McConky was, most humble and true in his calling made sure. His Moron Doctrine still points us all to the narrow straits.

His true humility is self-evident when he says: "It is my province to teach to the Church what the doctrine is. It is your province to echo what I say or to remain silent."

Of our Hebrew brothers, Elder McDonkey writes in deepest love, "Let this fact be engraved in the eternal records with a pen of steel: the Jews were cursed, and smitten, and cursed anew, because they rejected the gospel, cast out their Messiah, and crucified their King." as well as "Let the spiritually illiterate suppose what they may, it was the Jewish denial and rejection of the Holy One of Israel, whom their fathers worshiped in the beauty of holiness, that has made them a hiss and a byword in all nations and that has taken millions of their fair sons and daughters to untimely graves."

But Apostle McHonky left his best words for his colored brothers and sisters, saying "In the pre-existent eternity various degrees of valiance and devotion to the truth were exhibited by different groups of our Father's spirit offspring. One-third of the spirit hosts of heaven came out in open rebellion and were cast out without bodies, becoming the devil and his angels. The other two-thirds stood affirmatively for Christ: there were no neutrals. To stand neutral in the midst of war is a philosophical impossibility.
Of the two-thirds who followed Christ, however, some were more valiant than others. Those who were less valiant in pre-existence and who thereby had certain spiritual restrictions imposed upon them during mortality are known to us as the negroes. Negroes in this life are denied the priesthood; under no circumstances can they hold this delegation of authority from the Almighty.
The present status of the negro rests purely and simply on the foundation of pre-existence. Along with all races and peoples he is receiving here what he merits as a result of the long pre-mortal probation in the presence of the Lord. The principle is the same as will apply when all men are judged according to their mortal works and are awarded varying statuses in the life hereafter."

Proving to us all that we indeed cannot draw close to one another without a mind that is also closed. As Brother McBonkie responded to President Harold B. Lee when culled to the Quran of the Twelve Apostates, "I know. This is no surprise to me. I have known it for some time." We must therefore serve others in humble superiority - sure of our status as the chosen ones of heathen.

In the Holy, Sacred Name of Intellectual Reserve.


Anonymous said...

"It is my province to teach to the Church what the doctrine is. It is your province to echo what I say or to remain silent." Seriously? Did he really say that? Because if he did it means he was an apostate. He did not have the authority to give doctrine to church members and expect them to follow (or "echo") him. The only person who would have had that authority would have been the current President of the Church. Maybe the source you are getting this from was not genuine. Very interesting blog BTW. It seems like some of your followers get a bit carried away. The truth is the truth whether you try to make light of it or not. There's some pretty good council in here if people really wanted to hear it.

Brother Heber said...

Anonymous, Yes our beloved apostle Brother Bruce R. McConkie did rebuke a prideful and learned college professor named Eugene England with those words of love and inspiration.

BL- I feel that same surety that Brother McConkie felt. The Lord God has made manifest to me that I will be an apostle of the Lord. I am struggling right now to make this clear to my Bishop who continues to hold me back from my divine call. He has recently placed me in the primary teaching the Sunbeams. This is a message to me that he feels threatened by my lofty call. We are praying to discover it our Heavenly Father would have us sell our house and move to a different ward where a Bishop will be more open to support me in my accession to one of the Lord's annointed.

Chris S said...

The problem with so-called 'open-mindedness' is that willingness to consider another point-of-view inevitably leads to horrific consequences.

This is why I oppose gay marriage. If two men are allowed to marry each other, what's to stop them from molesting every child they can get their hands on?

Parley P Pratt said...

President Paternoster:

Pray Pardon my pause in painting my porch to provide portions of patronizing and purile praise at your periodic posting that provides petty posters plenty of points to poke fun at this peculiar and provident people of which you and I participate.

Per my peer Patrick, the painting profession produces pages of prose promising to prolong a presentable posture while the parasitic putrefaction presses forth. But the pragmatic person perseveres and peacefully placates his providers who are putting the proverbial pram prior to the pusher.

To paraphrase:

McConkie - prideful pip who pokes fun at pragmatists. Praise profusely that he has passed and therefore does not pollute prepubescents with perverse pornography.

B. L. Hotchkiss III said...

Brother Heber - You are indeed my brothel - probably in other ways besides just spiritual. I feel like we are retarded as this higher calling we both are experiencing must mean we share generic kinship among ourselves as well as with Bruce R. McClunkey.

It was just last week I was in teething settlement with my own bishop when he assigns me on regular toilet duty in our ward house every Saturday. This was after he was told of my dream where Joseph Smith appeared to me and stated that I would be among his highest apostates some day. He told me that dreams can't always be ocunted on to give one the true will of the Lard.

I feel just like you that my bishop is holding me back. I like you am considering moving on up to the East Side to a deluxe apartment in the sky where my calling can be noticed, nurished, nursed and neutered.

Praise be to BonneVille Communications

(sorry folks - my new caplet has this "autocorrect" feature and a keyboard that I haven't leaned yet.... Tryst me I'll get battered with it the more I play.)

Lowly Sister in the One True Church said...

Dear President,
I know I was sent to your blog by the Holy Spirit just a few moments ago during a most difficult experience. (I didn't think the Holy Spirit would abide in my heart if I was up after 12, but here I am at your blessed is so confusing. I suppose it is not for me, a lowly sister in the gospel to know the mysteries of the kingdom).

So as I was saying, I was having a rather turbulent night, and found myself tossing and turning until the sheets on my bed were in some disarray. I thought perhaps I was close to having a vision, and indeed there appeared to be a light in my room, but it turned out to be coming from under the bathroom door where my roommate was making some peculiar noises.

I decided to check my email, but being still in a confused state from my untimely awakening, I clicked on a link that brought me to a most unwholesome page of images that I fear may be burned on my retinas forever.

In horror I clicked on the nearest link I could find and it brought me straight to your blog. I am so thankful that the hand of the Lord guided my hand to your blog tonight. Heaven knows where it might have gone otherwise. Thank you for continued vigilance on the watchtowers of Zion. My thoughts will be with you tonight as I strive to sponge the stage of my mind of this uncleanness. Hopefully I will not have to see my Bishop after tonight.

Emma Snyde said...

I have had experiences in my efforts as a member missionary with people who are very close minded, but they claim that I am close minded! Obviously they are projecting their own close mindedness upon me!!! They refuse to open their hearts and minds in the correct way: to the truthfulness of Joseph's first vision and the Book of Mormon! Some have even closed their minds so much as to refuse to accept these claims when there has NEVER been any evidence at all to EVER prove them false!

Once one of my neighbors even stated that just because there is no evidence to prove something false does not mean that it is true: you can't prove a negative. This person argued with me and made a ridiculous claim. He said, "There is also no proof that elves, fairies,and unicorns are not real. Do you believe in those?" I told him of course not! Because those mythical creatures are not in the holy scriptures! If that isn't proof they don't exist, I don't know what is. Well, except for unicorns, but they died in the flood.

I have noticed that some of my neighbors feel ashamed of themselves for rejecting the Holy Spirit that testified the truth of the gospel to them in our little talks or while reading the copy of the Book of Mormon containg my family's testiomy that I gave them along with the plate of whole wheat and simulated chocolate chip cookies. Some even go as far as avoiding me. They must feel awfully guilty before the Lord and his righteous servants.

I just hope that they haven't sinned so much against the Holy Ghost that they will not get another chance at salvation in the Celestial Kingdom. I hope that my husband will feel prompted to shake the dust off his feet on their door steps absolving ourselves of their sin and unrightousness, and placing the burden of sin squarely on their shoulders if they truly have been so close minded as to reject God and his holy messenger bearing the fullness of the truth.

I saddens my soul.

Kolobian™ said...

We thank thee, O God, for President Paternoster!

I recall a conversation I had with an old mission companion who has since been offended, chosen sin, and left the church. He tried to convince me, an Elder of Israel with the power and authority of the Holy Melchizedek priesthood, that the events detailed in the scriptures were simply fairy tales.

He attempted to debunk the so-called myth of Noah's Ark with what he referred to as "concrete scientific principles" which is just a fancy way of saying the "philosophies of men." After a rather lengthy one-sided discussion I was moved upon by the spirit to ask him to explain how it was that there are fossils of sea life on the tops of mountains.

When he made up some ridiculous story about techtonic plate movements and asserted that those mountaintops were actually at one time on the sea floor I knew he was deceived by the evil one, even Lucifer.

I asked him if he'd ever seen a mountain rise up from the sea floor. Flustered, he responded that these things take long periods of time, probably millions of years. That was when I received a sure knowledge that he was addicted to pornography and loved masturbation more than he loved the word of the Lord.

With a smile on my face I bore my testimony that I knew Joseph Smith was a prophet, that the events of the bible were absolutely historically accurate, and that if he didn't repent and cling to the rod of god he would be sorry.

This was when he accused me of being "closed-minded" and stormed away. This altercation has weighed heavily on my mind until this very morning when I read your inspired post, President.

I can only pray that my friend chooses exaltation over masturbation which will surely lead down the path to homosexuality. We are surely living in the last days, brothers and sisters.

In the name of Jesus, even the Christ. Amen.

Stake Pres. said...

As always it was absolutely wonderful to hear from each of you. Cindy your comments are always so inspiring. Joseph K. Packer I am sorry your account got hacked, you had me worried for a while. Brother Hotchkiss III thank you for quoting further from dear Elder McKonkie. Thank you anonymous for your words of support. Brother Heber feel free to move to my stake in order to receive the lofty call that you obviously deserve. Chris S you make a very valid point about homosexuals. Parley P. Pratt your writings on this blog are an inspiration to all - quite brilliant. 'Lowly Sister in the One True Church' I was thrilled to hear that the reading of my blog in your hour of need stopped any unwanted hand movements. I would counsel you to always think of me in these situations. Sister Snyde I love hearing from you and share your sadness of soul at the close mindedness of your neighbours. Kolobian you are an inspiration to all. I would counsel all readers of this blog to click on Kolobian's name to be directed to his blog wherein he discusses sacred gospel truths.

B.K. Packard said...

Dear President Paternoster; What inspiration you must have felt to refer Brother Gray to the writings of our beloved Apostle, Bruce R. I keep my 1966 copy handy for such occasions. Sometimes I think people such as Brother Gray just think too much, not realizing that the thinking has been done already by prophets, seers and revelators even as our dear departed Elder McConkie. His book is a veritable gold mine for bloggers such as yourself. How can anyone indulge in broad mindedness, liberal or progressive thinking and still be part of the only true and living church upon the face of the earth, even the Mormon Church. The very idea causes me to have a stupor of thought.

Anonymous said...

President P., I am so reassured by reading your latest post. Now I know for sure that I am right.
It was a quandry... but I decided not to invite my 80-year-old apostate in-laws to our Thanksgiving dinner because they are suffering from this same broad mindedness you speak of here. I think I taught them a lesson, and maybe they will become more righteous (like me) soon. They don't view me as a priesthood holder, and that is what really upsets me. I know that they see me as just "good ol' Verle" and priesthood holder is last thing they are thinking. I only feel comfortable around those that hold me in higher esteem
than regular men.

Kolobian™ said...

Brother Verle,

You surely are a god-in-training.

Verle Jensensen said...

Thank you Brother Kolobian. I knew that I should have trusted my first instinct, that is -- to leave them all alone on Thanksgiving. Your kind endorsement gives me the courage to post under my given name from now on.

LaNephi Morgood said...

Let us not forget, faithful brothers and sisters, that open mindedness will surely lead to an inability to avoid the very appearance of evil. Satan is crafty. He entices bit by bit. He whispers into the only once-pierced ear of a woman, reasoning with her that another piercing in that same ear would look twice as good. And then tempts her to wear flip flops to church. Young men are enticed to wear a shirt of color to church. Once Satan makes these inroads, these once valiant members, thinking that they are merely being open minded, have become the poster children of evil, their appearances giving away the hardness of their hearts.

I recall with gratitude the Christ-like efforts of some ward members who helped steer my son back onto the path of righteousness. My son had received his mission call and was preparing himself to serve honorably, but in a moment of weakness he sat on his front porch drinking orange juice from a coffee mug. A good brother and his wife happened to be walking up the street when they saw in horror, my son sipping from a coffee mug!

Not knowing the mug merely contained orange juice, they reasonably concluded that my son was drinking coffee! Knowing the seriousness of this sin, they immediately contacted the bishop to lovingly report on my son. The bishop then called my son in for an interview, reminding him of the importance of presenting an image of righteousness at all times. May we all remain open minded to the counsel of our church leaders and close minded to the things of the world, even coffee mugs. Amen

Earl Grey said...

Dear Brother Morgood, the question must quite simply be asked - How did your young son, who I'm assuming still lived with you in the family comp- er, homestead - actually obtain a coffee mug to drink his orange juice from - it wasn't hot, mulled orange juice, either, was it?

Please don't tell me that the Morgood home has coffee mugs lurking within its cupboards. If so, this is a truly serious situation. Eternal consequences loom. I hope Mrs Morgood doesn't even bake coffee cakes, and that no coffee table exists in the Morgood living room.

Otherwise it sounds like your son is on an expressway trip down the road to perdition, with stops at a Harley shop, a tattoo parlor, and a Starbucks along the way.

I shall be placing your name on the Temple Prayer list in Winter Quarters.

May the tears of President Henry B. Eyring anoint your family's soul and deliver it from sure peril.

Barb said...

Several years ago, a group of lovely women and I met once a month to play a game called Bunco. We each donated $10.00, in order to contribute to a group of prizes distributed at the end of the game. Word got out to our dear Bishop, who called several of us in his office and let us know the serious consequences of gambling and how the church frowns upon this sin. He asked us to dissolve the group.

Ever obedient, we complied. At the time, I disagreed with this decision because I didn't look at it as gambling. It was merely an opportunity to bond, laugh, roll some dice, eat treats, and share an evening with friends all in good clean fun. Since then, we've all lost touch with each other and are really no longer friends, but I know that our eternal salvation is much more important. If it weren't for inspirational counsel of our good bishop, I'm sure we would definately be on the road to sin city (Vegas), and likely lose our life savings and become alcoholics. I used my "open-mindedness" to justify the evening as having a bonding ladies night out. But now I know that was a dangerous position to put ourselves into. May the Lard bless you President for your words of wisdom.

LaNephi Morgood said...

Brother Grey,

Your question pierced my heart, even with a sore piercing. I must confess that the coffee mug entered my house because of me. My duties in the business world require that I mingle with gentiles who, not understanding the power of the word of wisdom, give coffee mugs as gifts, their companies names emblazoned on the sides. In a moment of weakness I took one of these mugs home and it found its way on our shelves, amongst the banana boats, sundae bowls, and jello molds.

I called a special mid-week family home evening and we rededicated ourselves to avoiding the very appearance of evil. As a fun activity we then went through our home and removed anything associated with coffee, using your list as inspiration.

I don't know but for some reason your name, 'Earl Grey' causes me some discomfort. Not sure why.

Thomas J. Lipton said...

Brother Morgood, I sincerely congratulate you from removing all references and associated coffee products from your home. Please continue doing this.

Regarding the discomfort you feel at Earl Grey, this is a total mystery to me as well. In fact, when that name is mentioned in my presence, I get a very warm comfortable feeling with a hint of oranges??

Coffee is of the Devil!!!

Maxwell R. House said...

Hold it there, Grey and Lipton:

We're on to you over here. Your transparent little marketing ploy a.k.a. Operation Chick-Fil-A "Eat Mor Chikin", isn't gonna fly. Not at all.

Though our beloved apostle Boyd K Packer once said something about the truth not always being useful, having those poor Morgoods get rid of all the coffee related items in their holy Mormon home only to be left with all that tea in their life won't do them any more good than if you replaced Mr. Morgood's cigarettes with a pipe.

So Morgoods - it's time for radical treatment here. Be sure to purge thy home of not only the coffee but all of the tea kettles, tea strainers, tea tables, tea services, teaspoons, tea cakes, scones, teapots, tea cups, and so forth.

If any of the Morgoods are members of the Tea Party in this election year, rescind these affiliations immediately.

Oh Lord Hear the Words of My Mouth and Help these Lost Souls to Find their way back to the Rod of Iron.

Brother Heber said...

Unknown-Surely you understood that your egregious bunko activities would not be condoned by your bishop? How can a group of women possibly get together in a group without the presence of a priesthood leader? Sister Unknown this is not the true order of things.
Do you not take note in General Conference that all sessions for women are conducted by the holy priesthood?
I pray that you will understand that all activities attended by women must be conducted and supervised by a member of the Lord's preisthood.

Anonymous said...

Only in America... LDS members harshly judge trivial things like a coffee mug. For goodness sake people. Everywhere else in the world LDS members enjoy using their coffee mugs to drink, water, orange juice or chocolate milk.. Lighten up, or in this case "Harden UP"

Anonymous said...

Unbelievable. I think this President Paternoster is a delusional madman. If he were a Muslim he'd be the kind that would fly airplanes full of people into office buildings.

Duncan D. Horne - the Kuantan blogger said...

Firts time visitor here. I may be stating the obvious but it seems this is a satirical blog judging by this ridiculous post and the even more ridiculous comments. Won't be wasting any more of my time here

The Coder Cody said...

I respectfully wholeheartedly disagree with you, sir. I grew up in the Church. I've searched, pondered, and prayed many, many times. The answers I got, though, were different than what the church considers canon, despite my views coming directly from and being supported by ONLY the LDS scriptures.

I think it is WRONG that the Church leaders add things to the scriptures by telling members what such and such part means. What mighty virtue does a non-prophet Church leader have to tell other members what the words of Jesus Christ mean?! Is he at the same level as Jesus? Does he have the same level of awareness of the world, or the same wisdom that Jesus or the Prophets have?!

Why must we spend all our energies on trying to convert people, to make them think like we do?? Is that righteous?!!?! Or, is that EXACTLY trying to MAKE OTHERS BECOME LIKE US?? My understandings I obtained through the Spirit and the scriptures were that we were supposed to focus on loving our fellow man, and practicing TOLERANCE, learning to TOLERATE him and his differences and RESPECT him despite the different understandings he has found on his journey.

Ever play the game, "telephone"? What happens by the end of it? The original message has become so distorted that it is no longer the original message. How DARE Church leaders tell other members what the scriptures mean! They are limiting other people to their own understandings or below, abusing their authority and tying up people's chances to succeed and return to Heaven! According to your OWN RELIGION, ONLY the prophet can do that!

The Coder Cody said...

I will tell you some things now that I know will make you act on impulse, and out of emotion, and that any response from you will almost surely be full of emotion, hasty, and irrational. But everything I am about to say which conflicts with the distorted, warped beliefs that are taught now by the Church can, in fact, be supported 100% by your holy scriptures. And I trust the scriptures a lot more than I do imperfect men, especially ones who practice intolerance of others' understandings and who practice close-mindedness in the name of "Gospel Broad Mindedness."

Your church has ADDED so many things which are not within the scriptures. And I'm NOT talking about the things that the Prophet has said. I'm talking about the church body itself. Let's start here: Jesus said that John the Baptist was Elias, or Elijah, in other translations. states officially that reincarnation cannot be true because Jesus was referring to a "title" and not the prophet Elijah. Says who?! Show me the scripture that says that! Until you can, I will believe that John the Baptist WAS Elias- the prophet Elijah, because THAT'S WHAT HE SAID.

But wait, how could Jesus believe in reincarnation!? Probably because JEWS, historically, have believed in reincarnation, just like EVERY OTHER ANCIENT RELIGION ON THIS EARTH. Remember, he WAS Jewish, too. Show me the scripture, show me the statement by the prophet that says "Reincarnation is false." Show it to me!

The spirit answered my prayers by enlightening me to the principle that Spirit Prison, which the scriptures say is ON THIS EARTH and is WHERE WE GO AFTER WE DIE and is FULL OF MISSIONARIES TEACHING THE GOSPEL TO THOSE WHO HAVE NOT ACCEPTED IT YET. Last time I checked, there are missionaries HERE teaching the GOSPEL. And, last time I checked, I couldn't "check out" of my body with my spirit, because my spirit is IMPRISONED in my physical body. This is absolutely supported by scripture, 100%. The only thing that refutes it are things that have been published by "I know ALL the meanings behind the words that Jesus said" know-it-alls who write their enormous ego all over the pages of the evil manuals they publish. What mighty virtue do those people have to do such a thing and ALTER the words of JESUS CHRIST?!

In fact, WHERE in the scriptures does it say there exist no other Gods who created other people on Earth, in THEIR images?! If we are to believe that ONE God, our Eternal Father, Yahweh, created man in HIS OWN IMAGE, then please explain to me why man is NOT in ONE image, but has instead the image of the ancient red-skinned Egyptians, the image of the Persian peoples, the image of the Indians (India), the image of whites, blacks, and orientals? Your scriptures, in fact, say many, many times, "The God of the ______ people". Tell me, where did Cain find his wife, and who did he reign as king over in the city he founded, Enoch, if there were not yet other people on this Earth?! Don't show me a manual written by some dude, show me the SCRIPTURE that says so.

And show me the scripture that says the other ancient religions are false. Show it to me! You can't, for it doesn't exist. Buddhism, too, is a righteous religion, and it, too, is a "blind man groping the elephant", so of course the description it comes up with is different than yours. But it's not WRONG - unless you're looking at things from a very, very narrow, small scale on a low level. If you broaden your mind and look at things from a higher level, ALL the ancient religions do, in fact, harmoniously come together to describe the one larger whole truth, but not all of it! That's because each is just a tiny portion of the Great Word of God.

The Coder Cody said...

Why would God or the LORD God create cultures that would have a hard time accepting YOUR version of the Truth, if that was the only one that was correct? How unfair to those people would that be! Instead, he came down and revealed himself to ALL people in ALL nations and spoke to them in the contexts and languages and cultures that THEY could understand his Word in. Your scriptures support this, too. Only your manuals and the warped notions in your head don't.

How could John the Baptist be Elias/Elijah?? Who ELSE would have the power to baptize JESUS the CHRIST?! Only somebody with even greater power than he! "But Jesus was the only perfect person on the Earth!" Oh, really? Then, why, when both of them were alive on the Earth at the same time, did Jesus tell his disciples, "There is no one on all this Earth greater than John the Baptist" (though he is less than the least in Heaven). Jesus DIDN'T say, "I am the greatest on this Earth." Nope, he SURE DIDN'T. In fact, he sought out John the Baptist to get things passed on to him, for he was guiding him. Don't think so? Then why was Elijah/Elias there when he was transfigured?? He was there again, guiding him!

You can tell from a quick examination of scripture (NOT church publications) that Elijah the Prophet was greater than all the other prophets, INCLUDING Jesus Christ. No, that's not blasphemy, either. All the prophets, including Jesus the Christ, had to give up their bodies and die before they could go to Heaven. What about Elijah? He sure didn't. He was SO RIGHTEOUS that God sent down a chariot of fire from the Heavens and took him straight up by a whirlwind, alive. He sure, sure did.

You can tell from looking at his ministry that he preached a higher law. In Jesus's realm, in Moses's realm, or in Mary's realm (Christianity, Judaism, Catholicism), the concepts of good vs evil exist. You can't have one without the concept of the other. For all the good, there will be bad, too. Jesus and the others taught forgiveness and tolerance of everyone, including those who do evil to you. But not Elijah, he also performed many miracles and did many good things. But he didn't tolerate evil, no, he actively destroyed it and punished it, and got rid of it. Elijah therefore went to a higher realm beyond the conflicting concepts of good and evil, which destroy each other and can't exist in the same place at the same time, to the place where positive and negative elements exist in HARMONY with each other and DON'T destructively conflict. You may disagree with my understandings, which is fine, but you CANNOT say for sure I am wrong, for these are the things it DIRECTLY says in the holy scriptures. If I hurt your beliefs and you want to feel better, you can go run off to another church member who can tell you I'm very wrong, or read some manual that says WHY I am wrong, that is your choice. But you will just be burying your head in the sand and choosing to stay oblivious to reality on purpose, out of your own free will.

Let's talk more about a Chinese belief. They believe the celestial Udumbara flower only blossoms on Earth when a great King of Heaven descends upon the world to save people, and that the last time it blossomed was when Buddha walked the Earth. Well, guess what, it's blossoming again recently. You can verify this with Google and major media news channels. And it's blooming in impossibly strange places like on buddha statues, etc.

The Coder Cody said...

When Jesus was asked by his followers when he would return again, he replied, "To be sure, Elijah will come first to RESTORE ALL THINGS. And when you see the fig tree blossom, you will know that summer is nigh". Guess what the English translation for the Udumbara flower is? It's "fig". Does that mean Jesus is here? Yes, in fact, it does, he HAS returned. Does that mean the Son of God has returned? In fact, yes, it does. Is Jesus the Son of God?? I sure don't think so. SHOW ME THE SCRIPTURE WHERE HE SAYS SO. He NEVER, EVER, EVER even ONCE said that he was the SON OF GOD. It was only other people who said that he was. He ALWAYS said, I AM THE SON OF MAN.

Your scriptures do not support the current beliefs the Church holds.

Perhaps that is why, after the fourth LDS prophet, no revelation was ever again ended with the words, "And so saith the LORD." Perhaps THIS is why the LDS church places more emphasis on making others become like THEM and on rejecting and destroying other people's faiths who may in fact be improving their morality FAR MORE than the members who are trying to convert them! Jesus definitely said that you can tell his followers not by the congregations he is in but by his ACTIONS. Perhaps THIS is why Church members now, like you on this post, discourage people from using their brains that God has given them, and encourage blind faith obedience in the things YOU believe are correct.

That is why I left the Church. Because my testimony is stronger than the Church leaders' - much stronger. And I have the scriptures and the words of God and Jesus Christ standing behind me, while you have the manuals of MEN behind you.

You should, at once, stop preaching such evil things and attacking other members who question the things that really DON'T make sense. I will tell you that the Son of God HAS returned, the Messiah, the Savior, (Jesus, too), Buddha Maitreya, the Holy King Who Turns the Wheel with Righteousness rather than with Force, or whatever flavor you want to know him by. He has indeed returned, and you are so busy with your ego and pushing your low-level understandings on others that you are going to miss him entirely. In fact, this period of salvation is almost already over. No, I'm not going to tell you who or where or what, otherwise you would commit egregious sins by blaspheming the Savior of the World.

Stop these heinous statements at once, lest you miss your chance and experience eternal, neverending regrets.

Again, as I said, with all due respect, sir.

Unknown said...

I want to like this, but honestly it feels like a sarcasm trap. It has good things intermingled with arm twisting of spiritual experiences. All in all it presents itself as mocking true spiritual experiences and inspiration.

Unknown said...

(Sigh) the world is full of people who mock, maybe try something else? Build and help rather than put a stumbling block even if you think it’s funny. I know at least one person who isn’t laughing.