Friday, February 17, 2012

President Paternoster Wins the Wrong Award!

Brothers and Sisters it has come to my attention this morning that my blog was nominated for certain Brodie awards and in fact won the title of “Best Humor/Satire Site or Blog” for 2011. 

Words cannot even begin to express how disappointed I am right now.  When a Stake President decides to come online to show how the gospel helps individuals come unto Christ and when he defends the Church against the attacks of the enemy there is absolutely nothing humorous in this.  We are in a battle for the souls of men and Satan is winning.  I am disgusted at the very suggestion that my blog may contain humour or satire.  I am also outraged that the creators of the award couldn’t even spell humour correctly.  Don’t they have schools in America?

Rest assured I am working with the people in charge to change the name of my award from “Best Humor/Satire Site or Blog” to “As Faith Promoting as General Conference Blog.”

I went so far as to research the meaning of satire to try and understand where this gross misconception might be coming from.  The below is my understanding of the purpose of satire and why my blog absolutely does not fit into this category:

“In satire, vices, follies, abuses, and shortcomings are held up to ridicule, ideally with the intent of shaming the institution itself, into improvement.  (My blog is about the one true Church even the Lord’s kingdom upon the earth which certainly does not need to be shamed into improvement.  Improvements, if any even need to be made, will come through the revelatory channel that the Lord has put in place for the salvation of mankind). 

Although satire is usually meant to be funny, its greater purpose is often constructive social criticism, using wit as a weapon. This "militant" irony or sarcasm often professes to approve or at least accept as natural the very things the satirist wishes to attack. (My blog does not meet this requirement, although Sister Murphy did once mention I was rather witty).

The best satire does not seek to do harm or damage by its ridicule, unless we speak of damage to the structure of vice, but rather it seeks to create a shock of recognition and to make vice repulsive so that the vice will be expunged from the society under attack; (to the truly faithful my blog posts do not create a shock of recognition.  If it did they would be working against me trying to bring my blog down and reporting me to blogger or whomever they could – trust me).  Whenever possible this shock of recognition is to be conveyed through wit: the formula for satire is one of honey and medicine. Far from being simply destructive, satire is implicitly constructive, and the satirists themselves, often depict themselves as such constructive critics.

The reason the satirist doesn't merely write moral tracts encouraging people or organizations to virtue, and the reason he feels justified in displaying anger and indignation at the institution under attack is that the satirist's world (in the church) is not one of basic good accidentally gone astray, in which every man would seek good if he knew how or were shown the way, but rather it is one of unseeing fools and unsightly knaves who either claim to possess virtue already, or who have already rejected it, claiming that vice is (or is as good as) virtue. It is a world of hypocrisy, in which social standing, church membership, titles and positions, peer praise, lip service to morals, and wealth are all used to hide evils of the first order. In such a world of hypocrites and pretenders, simple moral encouragement would be totally inefficacious. The satirist, therefore, will display his critical attitude and implicit morality through irony, often by creating a narrator (naturally this does not describe the good President Paternoster) who appears to be as much a hypocrite as the target of the work, but who exposes himself and the target by his lack of true perception or inability to hide his hypocrisy.

Church members pay little attention to moralizers or blogs that attempt to expose the Church. Since the hypocrisy demands this particular approach, it is not surprising that the satirist takes hypocrisy for granted in his works. The theory is, then, that for the satiric mode to be corrective, certain values must exist which people do not follow, but which values they claim to follow (this of course does not describe the church, at all).

Exaggeration is one of the most commonly used techniques in satire, since the depiction of an extreme or blatantly vicious case is one of the best ways to get the target to recognize or admit that a vice exists at all. Recognition must precede correction. The satirist brings his description of a wrong to its logical extreme, or at least exaggerates by overemphasis in order to make the unseeing see, and the seeing-but-complacent oppose and expunge corruption." 

To him that hath ears let him hear.


Velda Smith Woodruff said...

President! I am as outraged as you are!!! While reading this post, I got what can only be the exact OPPOSITE of a burning in the bosom: I got a cold butthole :o(

Is there any way you can give back the award?

Anonymous said...


This is NOT a website sanctioned by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Nor is "President Paternoster" a stake president within the Church. Rather, this site is farce, and [usually] not good farce, at that.

Most of the posts here are written by quasi-apostates who mock those who are sincerely striving, albeit imperfectly, to follow Jesus.

Caveat utilitor.

Anonymous said...


This IS a website sanctioned by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. President Paternoster is a stake president within the Church.

Most of the posts here are written by people who are sincerely striving, albeit imperfectly, to follow Jesus.

Caveat utilitor.

Fixed that for you, you humourless doofus. (And you weren't first to comment today, were you? Ha-ha)

Anonymous said...

Wow, Anti-Mormons must be the stupidest people in the world. All you do is quote from the scriptures and from the inspired words of our Prophets, Apostles, and leaders. They must be misunderstanding the plain and precious truths you impart.

Anonymous said...

"We are in a battle for the souls of men and Satan is winning."

You may be right.

Your blog plays a part in the overall plan. For better or for worse. Your time is well spent.

Troy said...

Yea, O President, how long shall we suffer these wrongs and unlawful oppressions, before God's heart shall be softened toward us, and God's bowels be moved with compassion toward us? Please President, stay strong and don't let the fiery darts of the evil one get you down to the dominion of shoal. Peace be unto thy soul, annointed president. Peace. Peace. These jerks will pay by the power of cherubim and a flaming sword.

Anonymous said...

I'd be opffended too. In no way does our blog exaggerate...

Investigator said...

Please forgive those poor, ignorant fools. They just can't believe that anyone could possibly adhere to the gospel as closely as you, dear president. It is unfortunate that true devotion so uncommon in the world that the unenlightened mistake it as humor. Such piety inspires awe, not levity. Unfortunately,I have found that my unworthy ways of the world prevent me from basking in the glow of such righteousness.

C. L. Hanson said...

Re: Don’t they have schools in America?

lol, good point. Except that this award is actually coming to you from Switzerland, which may account for the difficulties in spelling the queen's English.

Re: "As Faith Promoting as General Conference Blog"

Hmm, true, that's probably a very appropriate nickname for the award you won. Especially considering the spelling error. Be sure call it that when you display your "2011 Brodie Award Winner" button in your sidebar. ;)

Ibowedmyheadandsaidyes said...

CONGRATULATIONS President!! This is good news as far as I'm concerned. Even though you received the wrong reward...any publicity is GOOD publicity.

In the name of Gordon B.


Mahonri Kimball said...

My Dear President;

When I first read about this, I experienced feeling of doom and despair. For a short time I am ashamed to say, I started to doubt that these blogs come directly from our Lord and Savior, through an ordained and inspired leader of the Church. But, I am happy to say my moment of confusion and weakness was short lived. Verily, did I click on the link wherest thou did provide, and learned immediately that this award is called a "Brodie", named of course after the most evil and hated anti Mormon of all time. It became immediately clear that this was the work of anti-Mormons and was most certainly done in an e3ffort to discredit you and your noble efforts. I repent of my moment of doubt and commit to never be so weak in my faith again.

chosha said...

If your very genuine expression of the true nature of the LDS church and its faithful followers does win in its (albeit incorrect) category, I think you SHOULD display the "2011 Brodie Award Winner" button in your sidebar, with a link underneath to this post, so everyone can understand from your own words what you are really all about here.

Stake Pres. said...

Thank you all for your wonderful comments and support. Sister Hanson and Chosha I would be most honoured to display the Brodie award on the blog, if I could just figure out how to do it!

Anonymous said...

The makers of the Brodie Awards are clearly under the influence of the great deceiver who desires our souls. Those evil ex-mormons will stop at nothing to silence the good president Paternoster to prevent us from being uplifted by his words. Only those with the spirit of discernment can see their wicked intents. May God save those lost souls.

Verle Jensensen said...

What is satire? I still don't get it, and I am thought of as a highly intelligent man.

Steven Lester said...

Satire works only when the reader knows the subject so well that he or she will see the untruth in what is claimed to be true and thus feel as if he or she is included in an inside joke. That is satire. True believers never see the actual truth because they are blinded by their own ardor.

The President is a gifted master of this concept, among the finest that I have ever read. Brilliance is shown in every article.

Kathleen said...

For those readers who are truly perplexed by the subtle satire presented here, may I humbly explain via plain-speaking, taking off the mask of satire for a brief moment and using a current example. The General Authorities declared themselves too busy managing the properties and businesses operated by LDS, Inc. to answer members' questions regarding doctrine. They instructed members to refer their escalating questions to their local authorities, which means to ask your neighbor the dentist, who was called to be Bishop. Like he can explain the juxtaposition and timeline of the killing of Parley Pratt and the Mountains Meadows Massacre.

NEVERTHELESS, the corporate religious leaders found the time to send out a letter over the signature of the top tier (which we seldom see) addressing the major issue of our time: the wearing of the garment, or not, while gardening.

If you fail to see the irony in the satire provided by President Paternoster in hanging the much-longed-for revelation that never comes, the meaningful prophecy for these troubled times that never drops from purpled lips, then I can't help you further. Perhaps you can get a copy of the gardening underwear revelation and frame it alongside your print of Thomas Monson, prophet, seer and revelator.

James Mitchell said...

In my opinion President Paternoster is one of the holiest men who ever lived, like Joseph Smith, except without the pedophilia or the magic rock.

Those are his only faults. But I was thinking maybe he is a pedophile and uses a magic rock for revelation and digging for gold, but it's too sacred to talk about.

Spencer said...

I am shocked and outraged that this blog is counted as dross and refuse. Fools mock, but they shall mourn.

Do not sell out for the gilded truffles of the adversary, O President, my President!

Do not allow the apostates, nonmembers, and other groupies of the great and abominable church of the devil to label you, as only God has the authority to stereotype and label his children whose opinions differ from His Official Party Line of the Year.

Investigator said...

Yes Spencer,

For all the delight I have in receiving the lessons from the young, attractive missionaries, I feel the greatest burning in my bosom when I read this blog.(At first I thought I had some heartburn from some spicy food and was going to drink some tea to settle my stomach. Luckily the missionaries helped me recognize the feeling as the Spirit and educated me about the sinful drink.) Even without baptism it is clear that the Stake President is called by Heavenly Father and his words are inspired.

Having had a taste of the one True church, I cannot understand why anyone would leave the all-enveloping embrace and safety of God's many rules for the dangerous outside world. Shame on the apostates them for trying to bring down what is good and holy. I have lived in the outside world and can testify that it is full of temptations and way too many decisions that I must make for myself. I look forward to being smothered in love after my baptism. It is comforting to know that I no longer will need to trouble myself with making decisions because the modern prophets have provided such a detailed instructions that will guide me straight to the highest levels of heaven. I'm thankful because following instructions is so much easier than pondering right and wrong.

Kathleen said...

When I think of all the time I wasted pondering on the subject of gardening underwear, I am so thankful to have modern day prophets. Their guidance and leadership is so important in these perilous times. Thank goodness they have the courage to speak out.

Cindy said...

If this Brodie person was an anti-Mormon it makes perfect sense that this award was given to you. Think about it. You publish things straight from, words that come right from our leaders, that are sometimes hard to accept. Giving you this award allows people to make excuses and look the other way, avoiding the instructions you remind them. They can just say that you were exaggerating and disregard the quotes and links you provide them and focus more on the comment section where people only post personal opinions. I think this award is a sign that you are a threat to the anti-Mormon community in bringing the truth unto it's members.

Anonymous said...

From what I've told by LDS on the street, whether President Paternoster is a True Believing Mormon or an anti-Mormon doesn't matter. The end result is the same. So why the umbrage here (I think that's King James) by TBM's like Real Anonymous?

When I was a missionary TO the Mormon people (before some angry Mormon gal almost blinded me by bearing me her testimony with a closed-fist right-cross punch to the eye), I would quote Mormons their own doctrine, like Ezra Taft Benson's teaching on the "like a virgin" birth. (Ever notice how all the prophets have three names in these latter days?)

It always amazed me how ignorant most Mormons were about what they believed. 90% of my ministry was spent educating Mormons about their own doctrine.

Even though I showed them photocopies of their own works and was clearly citing church approved material, Mormons constantly referred to me as an "anti-Mormon." (One time some missionaries even called the Book of Mormon "anti-Mormon literature!)

Nevertheless, many Mormons would come up to me and encourage me by telling me that my mere presence strengthened their faith. (Nevertheless, the Church refuses to sponsor my ministry.)

I've never been Mormon, but I think they're implying that I was "persecuting" them. (I've noticed they seem to have a persecution complex, that anyone who says they're wrong must hate them.)

So in some perverted sort of way, the fact that someone was "attacking" their beliefs must mean their beliefs are true.

So it doesn't matter if PP is a TBM or an Anti-Mormon. As the Apostle Paul said, "The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached." (Philippians 1:18)