Saturday, November 24, 2012

December 2012 Ensign Highlights

In order to assist readers as they prepare for this season of joy and peace I would ask that they prayerfully consider the words of the Lord as given in the Christmas/December 2012 edition of the Ensign.
May we ever keep in mind that “Church magazines are an important segment of the authoritative voice of the Church through which prophetic counsel from the Lord is made available to all of our Father’s children of all ages on matters pertinent in today’s world.”
I testify that solutions to the world’s greatest problems will be found as individuals and governments heed the words of the Ensign.
Below I will quote a couple of the wonderful and faith promoting highlights from the December edition:
“If paying tithing means that you can’t pay for water or electricity, pay tithing. If paying tithing means that you can’t pay your rent, pay tithing. Even if paying tithing means that you don’t have enough money to feed your family, pay tithing."
This is a wonderful message that the world needs to hear.  Why anyone would choose to feed their family and pay for water when they could be giving these sacred funds to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is completely beyond me.
Here is another very touching story……
“My wife, Lesa, and I became acquainted with a young woman soon after she came to church to attend an English class taught by the missionaries. She was outgoing, vibrant, and in control of her life, which included a good job, a longtime boyfriend, and her family….When the missionaries began teaching her the commandments, she knew she must obey.”
From the article we learn that her parents seemed worried.  Perhaps they thought she was getting involved in a cult, but she faithfully assured them this was not the case, and stopped talking to them. 
We learn that with the spirit of obedience “She broke up with her boyfriend and quit her job, which required that she work Sundays. She began observing the Word of Wisdom and accepted the law of tithing…..Within a few weeks of accepting the commandments, she found herself without a job, an apartment, or family support.”
Later when they met her while going for a walk she gleefully exclaimed “I am on my way to my new job working the graveyard shift at the drive-up window of a fast-food restaurant.”
I always encourage members to work at fast food restaurants rather than being tempted to accept careers which require them to work on Sundays.  When Doctor Murphy joined the Church he faithfully gave up his career as a heart surgeon so he could attend his Sabbath day meetings. 
The article explains that “This job represented a significant drop in pay, responsibility, and hours from her previous job. Despite significant trials and setbacks in the temporal affairs of her life, happiness exuded from her.  She then announced that her baptismal date had been set.”
What a beautiful example of righteousness. If all investigators could show such obedience and dedication to the one true Church of Christ the world would be a much better place. 
Lovingly shared by President Paternoster


Anonymous said...

"I'm hungry,"

lifelongguy said...

Good golly, Molly... really? You can't make this stuff up. I was so caught off guard by your quotes that I actually followed your references just to verify you were not making this stuff up or taking it out of context - but no, these stories are as SICK as they sound. Crazy sad stuff.

Jeremy O'Booze said...

When people ask me how I got to be so rich I always tell them that before anything I pay my tithing, and the Lord just opens the windows of heaven and blesses me. My offerings now amount to several million a year but I continue to receive countless blessings. Even in a time of deep economic recession my fund portfolios are prospering, and the pyramid-selling company I launched last year has taken off big time. I own four homes, an executive jet, an ocean-going yacht and several large cars. I testify to you that even if you do not have enough to buy food or pay your rent that the Lord will pour out his blessings upon you if you remember him first.

Anonymous said...

The young lady made a wise decision, by accepting the graveyard shift at the fast food restaurant. Graveyard supervisors aredifficult to come be. If she works hard, she may become a supervisor and as a benefit, she will recieve a 25 cent raise AND free meals. This will fill her stomach and allow her to increase her tithing. We may not always understand why Heavenly Father challenges us, but it always is for the best.

AlexisAR said...

I need to decide whether it would be better to work for my uncle, who owns a brothel in Reno, or go to medical school. (I'm not yet 18, but my uncle assures me he has ways of getting around annoying issues like age requirements.) My uncle say he has employed many members of the church, and he is willing to put in writing that I do not have to work on Sundays. My medical school is not willing to make the same guarantee for years three and four. My bishop tells me that hospitals and patients are typically no more accommodating in terms of allowing me to observe the sabbath.(Honestly! How hard is it from someone to avoid getting sick or injured for one measly day of the week?) So what should I do? Go to medical school, where I will sin almost every sabbath for at least two years, and then the same for the rest of my career most likely, or observe the sabbath while working in a brothel? Tell me what I should do, President Paternoster?

Anonymous said...

It is a Christmas tradition for many of the articles in the Ensign to be focused on the importance of tithing. This, to me, is further proof of the truthfulness of the church. Think of it...they know that many of Satan's followers such as those running the City Creek Mall will use seductive advertisements on evil media outlets such as KSL to lure and entice members into cutting back on the amount of tithing they pay in order to purchase gifts for their loved ones during Christmas.

How grateful I am for living oracles of God who know what we, as members, need to hear in order to avoid the pitfalls of worldliness, greed, and commercialism.

I am especially humbled to realize that, because I belong to a church solely focused on collecting my money, I never have any discretionary income and am therefore unencumbered by the temptations of commercialism.

Anonymous said...

Allow me to provide some context and completeness to one of the quoted sections in your post:

After reading these scriptures together, Bishop Orellana looked at the new convert and said, “If paying tithing means that you can’t pay for water or electricity, pay tithing. If paying tithing means that you can’t pay your rent, pay tithing. Even if paying tithing means that you don’t have enough money to feed your family, pay tithing. The Lord will not abandon you.”

Anonymous said...

Thank you Anonymous for giving us the article to put it in perspective. Yes, they have little to eat, but are still able to tithe. Heavenly father wont be disapointed in you when you reach heaven, if your teeth are rotting and you have brittle bones. Heavenly father will be disapointed in you if you don't honour him with your tithing.

Anonymous said...

President, I have a moral question? If it comes down to paying tithing or paying for a year subscription for Ensign, what should I do? I have already skipped paying rent, and my water bill, since there is no point in paying it since I am to be evicted in a few days, but I can't seem to raise enough money for both the church magazine, and tithing. What should I do?

Anonymous said...


This is NOT a website sanctioned by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Further, "President Paternoster" is not an actual stake president within the Church.

Rather, the content of this site varies from farce to pointed criticism [which is, at times, painfully accurate].

Many, but not necessarily all, of the posts are written in mockery of those who are sincerely striving, albeit imperfectly, to follow Jesus.

Caveat utilitor.

Anonymous said... will allow you to keep current with Ensign at no cost with a pdf file. Being frugal, I enjoy using the free computers at the library. I'm then able to continue to give a full tithing and keep current on important Ensign issues. Also, I eat at local soup kitchens, this allows me to increase my tithing and share the gospel with other homeless people.

Anonymous said...

I have noticed you are slacking off, you are at number 10 slot this time.

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous dated 11/26/12 at 9:59 AM: So true. Too much Thanksgiving turkey has slowed my senses!

Anonymous said...

I always feel a bad Spirit on this Blog whenever I read anything from "Anonymous Gideon" here. There's something wrong with that person's heart and spirit :( I pray for that person to open their heart to the truth. I'm grateful for the wise words of people like President P. who seek to tell us about the glorious blessings of the church's teachings. And I'm so excited for this sacred Christmas season when we can remember the Lord's birth and show his earthly representatives that we are indeed full tithepayers and faithful in his church.

Spencer Peterson said...

This blog is just sick and wrong. You make it sound like people are starving to death and paying tithing at the same time. I know for a fact that if you pay a full and honest tithe you'll never go hungry or homeless.

In my ward all of the members that go to church every Sunday and pay their tithing each month have plenty of food, and they all have nice homes. There are some poor people in the ward area, but they don't come to church, and they don't pay tithing. It's pretty obvious that the Lord is blessing those that are keeping his commandments.

I exhort all of you that are reading this and are weak in faith to trust in the Lord, and you will never go hungry. It has never once happened. The faithful are always blessed with abundance. If you see someone that is completely poor and destitute you know that there must be some major sin in their life that has caused their misfortune, and it is their responsibility to overcome that and take care of themselves. Don't be part of the 47%

Schmendrick said...


Anonymous said...

Spencer Peterson's comment made me, of all people, throw up in my mouth a little.

Rosemary said...

What a beautiful lesson for us. I can personally testify to the happiness that came to me when my parents had nothing to feed me and my siblings except for cracked wheat from their food storage. True, it tasted vile and we barely could choke down a few bites at a time.. And true, I now know that I have a wheat allergy. And true, it must have hurt my parents to fear for our family's well-being. However, not only did they continue to always pay a scrupulous tithe, they also never yielded their procreation habits no matter the expense, hardship, and sacrifice of everyone's mental health due to continually adding another sweet spirit to the bunch. I understand now that if our family had truly measured up, we would never have suffered so much depression and constant anxiety. isn't the Lord who failed us, you see. From the youngest baby all the way up to Mom and Dad, we failed him.

Anonymous said...

"This blog is just sick and wrong. You make it sound like people are starving to death and paying tithing at the same time."


Then why is the Ensign publishing these fantastic stories?

"There are some poor people in the ward area, but they don't come to church, and they don't pay tithing. It's pretty obvious that the Lord is blessing those that are keeping his commandments."

So, you are so convinced that paying tithing has something to do with the material wealth of the people?
There is no proof. Wealth is a natural cause. Actually, the harder-working and more educated people are the ones who are wealthy (minus the Hollywood dimwits, of course).

Blah, blah, blah.
Mormons think they are the only ones going to heaven. Well, get ready for a big surprise.

Damon Burro said...

Sister Newman's post is inline with everyone else's, right? Sarcasm? I have to think can't be serious. See POE'S LAW on Wikipedia :) When Romney said 47%, he claims he was catering to a crowd. Sadly, he was really expressing a fundamental believe -- his statement was defended heavily by those supporting him, even though he tried to denounce it. I think this also true in many religious circles. The leaders are not necessarily worse than the 'body' of the church...minus the fact they don't do enough to denounce people who are worse.

Anonymous said...

To Spencer Petterson,

How dare you use satire to criticize the Lord's anointed. President Paternoster is a true Stake President, and he quotes from official church cannon, even the Ensign magazine.

You are so obviously trying to make Mormons sound like mindless robots.

Spencer Peterson said...

After reading some more of this blog, I am completely convinced that you are all of bunch of filthy apostates trying to destroy the work of the Lord. Your deception is very clever, attempting to use official church sources and then twisting them to sound evil.

I would ask all of you to remember the wise words in Isaiah 5:20

"Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!"

The true gospel is so clear and obvious if you just open your eyes. Repent of your sins and listen to the words of Jesus Christ spoken by a true prophet of God. There is no contradiction, only plain and precious truth. It's plain that your pride and sins are blinding you away from the truth. Stop listening to the cunning words of Satan as he leads you away.

Shederlaomach said...

To Spencer Peterson:

You are so right. I have decided to have all the inspired utterances of Thomas S. Monson and Gordon B. Hinckley tattooed on my left buttock in 20 point characters. Fortunately, there is still a lot of free space left for future revelations.

I am confused as to whether or not I should add "1...2...3...Let's go shopping." to the collection. Please advise.

Thayne said...

I can personally attest to the truthfulness of President Paternoster's wise words. As a technical writer, during the dot-com bust, I was often without work. Nevertheless, I paid my tithing, whether it was on my paycheck or my unemployment check. Truly we were blessed for our faith.

We did lose our house, as our Bishop said that he could only help on mortgage payments for a couple of months and could not help us pay on our second mortgage, which we took out in order to make sure we could keep paying our tithing. And we eventually had to declare bankruptcy, like so many others in Utah--the long-time bankruptcy capital of America. But our spiritual blessings more than made up for us having to move into low-income housing in a poor neighborhood, and having to keep extra vigilance on our young children due to the plethora of registered sex offenders living on our street and the adjacent street. That just taught us to pray harder and made each subsequent tithing check more of a sacrifice. Which, as we all know, brings forth the blessings of heaven. As my story has so blessedly demonstrated.

Praise you, President Paternoster, for your diligence on this issue. And shame on you, Anonymous Gideon, for throwing up in your mouth about this sacred principle.

Anonymous said...

Presidente Patermoster,perdí mi trabajo y se lo dije a mi obispo,me dijo que no estubiese triste que mientras pagase mi diezmo todo estaria bien,pero cada dia estoy mas pobre,pero me dijo que los pobres está lleno el reino de los cielos y que no me preocupe que mientra pagase mi diezmo todo estaria perfecto,pero cada dia estoy mas chungo.Tambien me han echado de la casa por no pagar y coji un trabajo de comida rapida para pagar el alquiler de una habitacion para dormir,pero al tener que trabajar los domingos en mi trabajo, mi obispo me dijo que tenia que cumplir con el dia de reposo y dejé mi trabajo de comida rapida para obedecer a mi obispo y ahora duermo en la calle, pero me a dicho mi obispo que no me preocupe que mientras page el diezmo todo está bien que no me preocupe por dormir en la calle que la iglesia me regalaria una manta para no pasár frio en la calle.Prte.Patermoster,que me aconseja usted ¿cojer la manta para no pasar frio que me regala la iglesia o cambiár de obispo? ??????

Anonymous said...

Dear Shederlaomach,
Heartily and mightily have I prayed for guidance regarding your new tattoo. The lard, even Elohim, has spoken to my soul with the thunderings of righteousness. It has been made known to me that "1, 2, 3...Let's go shopping" should be placed central to all other ink.


You are so, so welcome.
Yours in the light of Christ,

Sister Olsen

Anonymous said...

Sister Olsen,creo que tomas demasiada "Marihuana".Cuida tu palabra de sabiduria.

Utahhiker801 said...

It is so good to see that our Spanish-speaking Lamanite brothren feel welcome on this site.

Truly the Lord's church is for all His children.

Thayne said...

Yea verily, Utahhiker801. I am sure their skin is becoming whiter and whiter by the day, as our blessed prophet Spencer W. Kimball so eloquently prophesied that they would.

Anonymous said...

Los hermanos lamanitas-mayas esperamos el glorioso cumplimiento del calendario maya-laman el 21-12-2012 profetizadas en planchas de oro en contacto extraterrestre de tiempos inmemoriales. Los oraculos-chamanes Monson-rianos en contacto UFO nos anuncian las restauraciones de todas las cosas y un mundo feliz.

mahonri kimball said...

People who don't understand these inspired teachings just don't understand the restored gospel.

We know from the teachings of our inspired prophets that it is better for a young person to come home from a date in a casket, rather than to return unchaste...

How hard is it to understand that it is also better for someone to die of starvation or exposure to the elements than to survive, but not be a faithful tithe payer?

We also know that if children starve to death before the age of 8, they will be saved in the Celestial Kingdom. What a glorious blessing!

Some may have trouble understanding the teachings and inspirational guidance we receive from our righteous leaders, but that is because they don't understand the ways of the Lord.

Cindy said...

I know that the President has passed on now but I felt encouraged to read the posts I have missed. I was very touched by the faith of the people highlighted in this post. It's a scary thing to hand over tithing money when you don't know where your next meal will come from, or to lose a job in order to stand up for your beliefs. Sometimes I get discouraged at the thought that I may someday be faced with an equally challenging situation. If ever I do I hope that I will be able to make the right choice.

C. L. Hanson said...

I too am saddened by President Paternoster's passing.

I would just like to tell all of the President's loyal fans that you can still cast a memorial vote for him in the Brodie Awards for the work he did in 2012.

This post and his post about the baptism of Richard Dawkins have been nominated, plus President Paternoster's blog has been nominated for a year-long award like the one he won in 2011.

Anonymous said...

The comments are always the best part of this blog, but good god I could not stop laughing at these ones. I love you all!


Anonymous said...

“If paying tithing means that you can’t pay for water or electricity, pay tithing. If paying tithing means that you can’t pay your rent, pay tithing. Even if paying tithing means that you don’t have enough money to feed your family, pay tithing."
This is a wonderful message that the world needs to hear. Why anyone would choose to feed their family and pay for water when they could be giving these sacred funds to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is completely beyond me.

WOW! This message goes totally against the teachings of Jesus Christ, besides, it is horribly IRRESPONSIBLE!

Yeah! Let´s keep building Malls and purchasing lands, investing in the financial markets, right? Who cares about feeding the hungry, that idea is no longer a commandment, it has to be something the now belongs to the past.

What would Jesus say about the use or should I say "misuse" of money in the name of God?
It blows my mind what blind faith can do to people!
They quickly become anti-Christs, as foretold in the Book of Mormon and D&C. Sad!

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