Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Missionary Age Update: Reaction from Ireland as the LDS Church recognizes that Women are almost as mature as Men

This is the initial draft of a statement that is being prepared for release to the media.  It was done by Mark Kennealy, my Stake High Councillor responsible for public affairs.  When I have time I will make some adjustments and release it.  Feel free to provide suggestions:
In a bold move towards the equality of the sexes The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has lowered the age of full time missionary service to 18 for men and 19 for women.  Previously men had to be 19 and women 21. 
“The Church is now recognizing that rather than being less mature than priesthood holders by two years, we, as modern women, are now only one year behind” said an excited Shannon O’Connor of Belfast.
“This shows that emotionally we are catching up to the priesthood in these the latter days” remarked Trinity Murphy from County Cork.
Sister Kennedy, an accountant from Macroom said that her 12 year old son Peter has the opportunity to grow up much quicker than his twin sister,  “He is a righteous priesthood holder and as such has been given divine authority from God to do things such as go from house to house collecting Fast Offerings.  This is something that his sister and I, as women, will never be able to do.” 

Asked whether this made her feel inadequate in any way Sister Kennedy said, “Who am I to question the Lord? I am just thankful that the Saviour allows me to give my money to the Church.  Having the priesthood handle it from there must be His will or the Church would have been organized differently.”
Mary, Peter’s sister said “I look up to Peter.  As a priesthood holder he often gets to be the Bishop’s messenger where he sits on the stand and runs errands that I, as a girl, could not possibly handle.  He looks so important up there with the bishopric.  I just wish he would remember to not pick his nose.”
Mary spoke of longingly watching the boys prepare the sacrament one Sunday and admitted that sometimes she wishes she had been a boy so she could be considered worthy to place the trays of bread and water on the sacrament table before the meeting.  In a gesture that brought tears to her mother’s eyes Mary brightened up as Peter put his arm around his sister and said “ah yes, but you get to bear children.”
Peter’s Bishop, Paddy Barnes confirmed that while Mary is spending her time learning of the importance of becoming a wife and a mother Peter will progress through the ranks to become a priest at age 16 where he will have the authority to baptize converts and ordain men to the Aaronic Priesthood.  “By the time he is 18 he will be ordained an Elder and will be more than prepared to go out into the world to preach the gospel” said Bishop Barnes, “whereas his twin sister will need at least another year to reach his level of emotional maturity and stature.” 
“In a world where women are fighting for equality the Church has truly stepped up to the plate” remarked Sister McMaster of Limerick, “it is wonderful to see that God is at the helm, guiding this Church through His ordained prophets.”
16 year old Caitriona Cragg from Killarney caused an outburst of laughter from several of the 18 year old boys when she asked whether this meant that sisters could now serve as district and zone leaders in the mission field.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

I somewhat question this decision by the brethren. On my mission, it was common knowledge that the sisters were no where near as mature as their nineteen-year-old male counterparts. I shudder to think of what non-members will think of young 19 year old girls knocking on their doors. But, I suppose the Lord knows best.

Anonymous said...

This is just one area where anatomy simply explains why men make better missionaries. If you isolate the portions of the body that make Elders different from Sisters, you have the penis vs the vagina.

The penis has been intelligently designed to be a dispersal unit. It has the ability to penetrate and deliver the celestial payload of life.

The vagina on the other hand takes a powerful pounding but rarely fulfils any role as a delivery mechanism. This may be why sister missionaries are long suffering.

God makes no mistakes in his designs. We can learn through the symbolism he's provided us through gaining a body.We can all clearly understand why boys are preferred by God as his spiritual warriors. The answer has been there below your belly button this entire time.

J.R.Fortescue-Holmes, Lt Col (retrd) said...

In the UK I am sure this will have the beneficial effect of ensuring that more girls go on to select lives as wives and mothers, rather than get above themselves by going to university. Previously, when boys went on missions at 19, it meant that after they had completed their A Levels, they got the opportunity to do exciting things like cleaning cars for a year whilst waiting to go on a mission. In all, their university education was thereby delayed by three years, so that by the time they got to college they, quite rightly in my view, found themselves socially ostracised from the general mass of undergraduates who, as well as studying, seem to think that the purpose of life is to have a good time. Our chaps soon showed them that there were more serious and important things in life than socialising with one's peers, playing in sports teams, and all that nonsense. Our Returned Missionaries knew what was important, such as spending about 15 hours a week in church activities, going home teaching etc. It was a shame if some of these Mormon youth decided that having already been a burden on their parents for three years they ought not to go for higher education at all and returned to lives as unskilled workers or to the dole queue, but I guess that's life. Now that girls will be going on missions at 19 it is they who will end up three years behind their peers, and hopefully most will realise that the important thing to do after their mission is to forget higher education altogether, get married to some bloke in the ward who looks the part, and have lots of children. That's the way to build Zion!

Anonymous Gideon said...

*** NOTE TO THE READER OF THIS BLOG ***

This is NOT a website sanctioned by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

"President Paternoster" is not a stake president within the Church.

Rather, the content of this site varies from farce to pointed criticism [which is, at times, painfully accurate].

Many, but not necessarily all, of the posts are written in mockery of those who are sincerely striving, albeit imperfectly, to follow Jesus.

Caveat utilitor.

lifelongguy said...

That the satirical nature of this blog needs to be pointed out is a damning commentary on the church itself.

Brilliant!

Julia - Finding My Way Softly said...

Stake President,

I am curious to know what you think about the new curriculum program for the youth of the church. How will studying the same lessons, at the same time, help the young people if the church?

Sister Taylor

Debra said...

so so grateful that this "little miracle" has come about. I sat waiting anxiously for any annoucemnts about world peace poverty despair... and lo and behold we are changing the missionary ages yes yes!!!!

Liz Godkin Marsh said...

President, don't you think that the sisters go a little older than the boys because we are more 'delicate' by nature? We probably need that extra year to prepare to make and keep sacred covenants, seek promised blessings of the priesthood thru obedience. We need time to learn to live our lives to claim the blessing sweet of exaltation, our testimonies growing each new day. And what if we get our period? There is much to prepare for!

Christina said...

I am not sure I agree. I mean maybe in some cases yes women can be more immature than men, but in my case I am more mature than half the 19 year old boys. (I do suppose that is because I had to grow up fast due to incidents that have happened through out my life).
I also thought women went at 21 and men at 19 to prevent any amorous feelings between the two sexes. Also, I thought it was so women would get married (instead of serving a mission, because families are most important) and if they didn't they could serve a mission at 21. I don't think it has anything to do with immaturity. Just what the church expects of women (to get married and not go on a mission)

AlexisAR said...

The Church is just so incredibly inspired in this regard that it's almost unbelievable. I'm a girl and I have a twin brother. he was probably conceived in an earlier cycle than I was, but even had he not been, he would still be far superior to me in maturity, intellect, and every other way that matters. He holds the priesthood EVEN THOUGH HE WAS NEVER BAPTIZED (a neat trick I'll share someday if anyone cares) unless Catholic baptisms count, and even morons know that they absolutely don't.

Through the accident of arbitrary decision as to which twin to remove first in modern-day [or somewhat modern day, anyway; we were born in 1994] Caesarean deliveries, I was the first-born, which must have been an insult to future priesthood holders everywhere. My brother weighed 6 lbs, 9 oz at birth. I weighed 2 lbs., 2 oz. My brother crawled at just before five months and walked at six months and two weeks. no one remembers at what age I crawled, and I walked at the almost developmentally delayed age of 8 months. That is the lone significant developmental milestone my brother reached before I did (unless you count belching at will and arm-farting -- skills my brother mastered before preschool that I have yet to achieve; stupid me!) Everything else, from speaking to reading to skipping to potty training to whistling to tying shoes, I mastered before he did.

Appearances, however, are deceptive. The church KNOWS that my brother who believed until he was over four years old that if a toilet happened to be flushed when a person was sitting on it, the person would be sucked down into the sewer system; someone with such though processes is priesthood material without a doubt) is more advanced than I, just as all males are developmentally superior to their female counterparts. One cannot argue with divine inspiration.

Exmormon Maven said...

Silly Sister Caitriona Cragg. To think that sister missionaries would now be district and zone leaders. Pffft! What WAS she thinking!!??

mahonri kimball said...


It is wonderful that the Lord has recognized the need to get the young men out on missions before they venture off to college and have their thoughts contaminated by Satan's workers.

College can be destabilizing to the testimonies of our young people. I know of some, who have begun to doubt the reality that Adam brought death into the world 6000 years ago when he fell. Without the fall of Adam, there would be no need for a redeemer, then where would we be? Even the BYU professors teach Satan's lies about death having been on the earth for millions of years. This we know is absolutely contrary to revelation. Science can be so deceiving to those without strong testimonies.

No doubt the Lord has also recognized the importance of not interrupting a young mans college education, scholarships, and sports opportunities.

Lowering the age to 19 for young women also makes sense. They will still be older and more mature than the Elders presiding over them. This helps them learn to respect and obey priesthood authority, even when they are more capable and knowledgeable than the men who must lead them.

There is no reason to allow women the same opportunity afforded the young men to serve a mission without interrupting their college education. To do so, might get them to think that they were on equal footing. Before you know it, we could have relief society presidents thinking they should be entitled to their own inspiration when they call counselors. How would the Bishop maintain control if he did not have final say? Women in the Church might start demanding to serve in non priesthood leadership positions like Sunday School President! After that, we could even see the day when women give priesthood blessings as they did in the time of Joseph Smith! The entire corporation could crumble in disarray!

I KNOW there is always a rational plan behind God's actions, even when it might not be obvious. I am thankful to be one of the chosen who understands the mind and will of the Lord in every important matter. It is wonderful to be constantly communing with God, as he magically implants his thoughts into my mind. Mutual telepathic communication with God is a wonderful blessing. Having the creator of the Universe aware of my every thought and need is a wonderful blessing. Just this morning I found my lost car keys after I concentrated sincerely and intently that God, even the Heavenly Father, might intervene in the natural order of the universe and place my keys where I could find them. Having the gift of the Holy Ghost is like having a magic genie, but not having to carry around the bottle.

NeverMo Mike said...

Speaking from a Biblical viewpoint, Anonymous #2 speaks truth more than he knows.

Here in the states, we allow women to be "firemen." I don't know about you, but if I'm unconscious in a house fire, I want a big, strong fireMAN-a man who is able to sling me over his shoulder with all that equipment on his back and walk out of the house as if it were nothing-to rescue me. Not some 110 lb woman who was allowed to be a fireman in the interest of political correctness. (Have you noticed, when you were a child, that it was always the girls who wanted to be in the boy's clubs? But never the boys who wanted to be in the girl's clique.)

The fact is, men and women ARE different. Not that one is "better" than the other. Just different.

That's not to say I'm condoning the Mormon church's latest revealed policy. Frankly, according to the God of the Bible, women are not to be missionaries, per se, anyway. Jesus did not sent out women two by two. Only men. But He did have quite an entourage of women helping support Him.

I'm hesitant to cite God's constraints on women in the Christian church-it always freaks out ex-Mormons, even those who become Christians. But you can read it for yourself. 1 Corinthians 14:34 and 1 Timothy 2:11-12. The Apostle Paul says the reason for this goes all the way back to the creation.

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