I received the following letter from a single sister the other day and felt it deserved a response.
Dear President Paternoster,
Thank you so much for standing up for the truth and not being shy in condemning the false doctrines of our day. Your blog has helped so many come unto Christ and I want you to know that your words are often used to provide clarification during Church meetings in our Young Single Adult ward. We have a saying in our ward "What Would President Paternoster Do?" (or WWPPD for short), which helps us during times of temptation to stay on the straight and narrow path towards eternal life. I believe it is every worthy sisters dream to one day meet and marry a priesthood holder as faithful and valiant, not to mention as handsome, as you.
My roommates and I were discussing the delicate topic of self stimulation the other day and I was shocked and horrified to find out that I am the only one who has never engaged in such an activity. I was taught in my youth that this was wrong, that boys couldn’t serve missions if they did this and that I needed to do all I could to be worthy of the love of a pure and undefiled return missionary. In each interview growing up my Bishop would inquire about this and I would assure him that I was not guilty of such a practice.
One of my roommates who didn’t grow up in the Church thought this was absolutely ridiculous and said that self stimulation is just a normal and natural part of growing up and learning how the body works. She pointed out that if God was against this then a woman who never married would be required to live her whole life without ever experiencing an orgasm. She wondered out loud what sort of God would require such a thing.
She said that self pleasuring has provided her the opportunity to discover the sensations and movements that work best to give her the greatest sexual gratification. She explained that this is an empowering thing and that it has helped her feel better about herself and her body.
She said that self pleasuring has provided her the opportunity to discover the sensations and movements that work best to give her the greatest sexual gratification. She explained that this is an empowering thing and that it has helped her feel better about herself and her body.
She says that when she gets married she will be much better off than those who abstain (me, in other words) because knowing what her body needs to experience a fullness of pleasure she will be able to guide her husband. She seems to think this will strengthen their marriage.
My roommate went on to explain some of the scientific research that has been done and told us of some of the associated health benefits. The list is rather long. Apparently it helps prevent cervical infections and relieve urinary tract infections. It is associated with improved cardiovascular health and a lower risk of developing type-2 diabetes. It builds resistance to yeast infections and increases pelvic floor strength. It can help work against insomnia in a natural way by releasing calming hormones and endorphins, making us feel the warm afterglow that helps us sleep (no wonder I suffer from insomnia while she sleeps so soundly at night). She also said that men who engage in similar activities are far less likely to develop prostate cancer, that it keeps their reproductive systems strong and healthy, and strengthens the immune system.
President, the way she talked about it you would think it should be included as part of the Word of Wisdom.
I asked her whether she felt guilty about doing it and she said that although shame and guilt have been associated with masturbation for centuries society is now moving on from these attitudes. She thinks I should “get with the times”.
“But what about following the prophet”, I asked. She said that she looked in the manuals and on the official website of the church and could find nothing on the topic. She also found no references to the practice by ancient prophets in the scriptures. She assumes that the Church, like society in general, has moved on from and no longer discourages this activity.
As a believer she also said though that if I were to find some crystal clear instructions denouncing the practice, not in some old books written years ago, but currently on lds.org she would go to the bishop to confess and repent - and she would give up the habit.
President, can you help? Can you clarify the position of the Church, if one still exists, on this topic? I am finding her arguments to be somewhat persuasive and while reading from the pages of The Book of Mormon is certainly helpful I am having a very hard time getting to sleep at night.
Sincerely,
Jenni Hewitt, of Scottsdale, Arizona.
Dear Sister Hewitt,
Thank you so much for your letter. It is wonderful to hear that the words of my blog, which are only used to highlight and defend the position of the Church as given on its official website, are being discussed by the young people in such far off lands as America.
Surely the Lord is pleased when in a world of confusion and doubt there are still some who are willing to stand up for the inspired teachings of the Church, providing a beacon to the weary and the lost.
If only all sisters could be like unto you Jenni. You were reserved to come forth in this day and age, even in the dispensation of the fullness of times, to stand as a witness of God at all times and in all places. As you have kept yourself unspotted from the sins of this generation you have found joy and peace in a world laden with sin and iniquity. May you be blessed as you bear the burden of being a member of the only Church upon the earth in which the Lord is well pleased.
You have brought up an important question and one which confuses many. I will attempt, dear sister, to answer this question as best I can and pray that the spirit of the Lord will accompany me in so doing.
As a recent convert your roommate did not grow up in the Church and was thus denied many of the experiences and teachings which those of us who were born in the covenant take for granted. As such it is your responsibility, Jenni, to bring her up to your level of knowledge and understanding of the gospel and ensure that the opposite does not occur.
The gospel is the same yesterday, today and forever and God and His teachings have no need to “move along with the times”. If a certain habit was a sin yesterday then I can assure you that it is a sin today and no amount of justification, research or rational thinking can change that.
Your friend rationalizes that masturbation is a normal and natural part of growing up, but as a seminary student you would have memorized in your youth the sacred verse of scripture that teaches that natural man is an enemy of God and will be forever unless he yields to the enticings of the spirit.
I am thus prompted to ask the following questions:
Does the spirit of the Lord entice man to engage in acts of self mutilation?
Can a daughter of our father in heaven feel and follow the sweet promptings of the spirit of the Lord whilst touching her most sacred organs and imagining herself engaged in illicit acts of a sexual variety and nature with a man to whom she is not legally and lawfully wedded?
Can a daughter of our father in heaven feel and follow the sweet promptings of the spirit of the Lord whilst touching her most sacred organs and imagining herself engaged in illicit acts of a sexual variety and nature with a man to whom she is not legally and lawfully wedded?
Would your roommate engage in such lasciviousness if she knew that Lord with his all piercing eye, yea he who suffered and bled from every pore for the sins of the world, could see her in the very act thereof?
I didn’t think so.
Your friend states that the prophets of old and lds.org have nothing to say on this important matter. You and I know that this is not true. I will show you, Jenni that modern day prophets know all about the worldly rationalization that takes place on this topic – the same worldly rationalization that your friend seems so familiar with.
For your benefit I will quote that which can be found today on the official website of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:
“The world rationalizes that masturbation is natural and healthy. However, President Spencer W. Kimball states the Lord's view as follows: "Prophets anciently and today condemn masturbation.”
Keep in mind Jenni that President Kimball isn’t giving his own view. No. As one having authority he states the Lord’s personal view on the matter. One may ask how this is possible since there are no scriptural records confirming this. The same could be said of the ancient prophets. How did President Kimball know that prophets anciently condemned masturbation? I will answer this.
Much like Joseph Smith, as President of the Church Kimball would have met regularly with the Lord and the ancient prophets on a variety of matters. Amongst all of the issues of the day, which likely included such topics as world hunger, war and other disasters, it is safe to assume that the pernicious evils of masturbation were discussed.
Lds.org goes on to say that masturbation “induces feelings of guilt and shame”. This guilt and shame is not currently felt by your friend because she has yet to be taught the fullness of the restored gospel of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. As you share with her your findings the spirit will help her to feel the Godly guilt and shame that are so necessary for sincere repentance and forgiveness to occur. A loving bishop can be very helpful in this process.
Your friend will soon see that rather than being a beautiful celebration of the body which was created by the Lord to have such feelings, the act of masturbation is (as the quote goes on to say) “detrimental to spirituality”. Rather than being a celebration of freedom “it indicates slavery to the flesh” and rather than being an act that will help her in the future eternal partnership of marriage it will in fact inhibit “the growth toward godhood which is the object of our mortal life.”
If this isn’t clear enough for your friend or if she tries to justify her iniquities by claiming that President Kimball’s quote is from too long ago please have her read this month’s Ensign article entitled ‘Teaching Chastity and Virtue’. Below is a quote from Richard G. Scott, a prophet, seer and revelator who currently serves as a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles:
He said: “Any sexual intimacy outside of the bonds of marriage—I mean any intentional contact with the sacred, private parts of another’s body, with or without clothing—is a sin and is forbidden by God. It is also a transgression to intentionally stimulate these emotions within your own body.”
Need we be any clearer than this?
The Lord has spoken and those who love Him will gladly obey.
Basically what it comes down to is would your friend rather feel the orgasmic ecstasy associated with the natural man or would she rather enjoy the sweet sensations that come from reading the scriptures and following the promptings of the Holy Ghost?
Jenni you mentioned in your letter something about serving missions that is confirmed on lds.org at the first link I provided. It is that “No young man should be called on a mission who is not free from this practice."
As a Stake President I faithfully abide by this principle and pride myself in having never sent a young man on a mission who is unclean.
Occasionally the Area Authorities will ask me why no missionaries have been sent out from my stake in the past 7 years. I always answer that the while the bar is high we as a stake have faith; we fast and pray often for a young man to rise up to the challenge.
As a word of warning I want to mention that I had one young man who wanted so badly to serve a mission but who was not free of this denigrating practice. He would give up the habit for a week, maybe two and he once went two whole months, but Satan always overpowered him in the end. He felt terrible about himself, lost all self confidence and quit a promising career as a rugby player. In a desperate attempt to escape his failures he turned to drinking and drugs and ended up in a rehabilitation care facility. Worst of all he was excommunicated from the Church. I occasionally see him wandering the streets of Dublin looking downtrodden and without purpose. All this could so easily have been avoided if he had just followed my counsel and trusted in the Lord.
Please don’t let this happen to your friend. Please stand by her as she overcomes her weakness and comes unto Christ with a full purpose of heart.
I am thankful for the fullness of the gospel and all that it teaches us. May God be with you Jenni in all your endeavours,
Sincerely,
President Paternoster
24 comments:
You do a great job of putting these issues in their proper perspective. Thank-you for taking the time each week to write these witty posts. It is hard not to smile at church and think of your posts when hearing the folderol you parody (I go to Sacrament meetings because it makes my wife happy when I am there). I used to just cringe.
I'm always reassured when I hear my loving priesthood leaders remind me that guilt and shame are not something to be feared, but something to be utilized as a tool to get closer to our loving and empathetic Heavenly Father. When I hear people decry so-called depressive or anxiety disorders as often brought on by negative feelings associated with churches of high standards, I just want to shout at them that they are not depressive disorders per se; they are spiritual disorders. They are spiritual disorders brought on by the stiff-necked refusals to humbly accept the negative feelings we so profoundly deserve when we fall short of the rules and regulations our Father in Heaven put in place for our ultimate joy.
El prest.Paternoster no tiene problemas con la "masturbación porque está casado y su esposa le complace en sus fantasias sexuales.J.Smith,no necesitaba auto-satisfacion porque tenia muchas esclavas-esposas(entre ellas mujeres casadas con otros hombres) que le satisfacian sus intintos carnales y sensuales.Todos ellos tienen apariencia de piedad pero son unos hipocritas,lobos rapaces con piel de ovejas;de los cuales el infierno les tiene reservado un lugar especial. La masturbacion no puede considerarse como la palabra de Sabiduria porque para eso deberia ser !oral! ¿Entendistes? Hermana Hewitt.Felices sueños.
Masturbation cannot, of course, be described as a heterosexual activity. With this in mind, we would do well to bear in mind President Kimball's inspired warning in The Miracle of Forgiveness:
...[masturbation] too often leads to grievous sin, even to that sin against nature, homosexuality. For, done in private, it evolves often into mutual masturbation--practiced with another person of the same sex and thence into total homosexuality.
I imagine President Paternoster could confirm to us, as could many other righteous Priesthood leaders, that he has never counseled a homosexual who had remained pure from this practice.
President Kimball indeed taught the truth about masturbation, about how it starts with just the individual, but before you know it, it moves on to same-sex group masturbation, then fornication, and then sex with animals.
So many people in the church have fallen down this dark path. It's sad when people claim that they have never engaged in group masturbation or sex with animals. Masturbation, like all other such sins, clearly leads one to lie about such matters. Fortunately, we have a prophet of God who was willing to discuss these kinds of evil acts which he obviously saw all too often in that little town in which he grew up.
Thank you, President, for keeping us in the straight and narrow pathway that leads to such joy when we enter into it and work very hard to achieve the joyous end result thereof. And then sleep.
Shouldn't you also point out, President, that it can cause blindness? Funny, but I've noticed that some of the General Authorities are terribly near-sighted. I'm sure it can't have anything to do with that, however.
*** NOTE TO THE READER OF THIS BLOG ***
This is a website sanctioned by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. And President Paternoster" a stake president within the Church, sanctioned by Thomas S Monson and God himself.. The content of this site is steadfast in its pointed criticism of sin and the ways of the world.
Many, but not necessarily all, of the posts are written in support of those who are sincerely striving, albeit imperfectly, to follow Jesus, even as we struggle with stains on our trousers.
Caveat wankor.
When I was a teenager in the 70's, middle-aged Bishops, often descendent of pioneers would bring 13 year old girls into their office alone and ask if they masturbated. If they didn't know what that meant, some kind bishops would helpfully explain. If the girl admitted it, Bishops would help them with the repentance process by forcing them to explain in lurid detail HOW they masturbated. This loving and attentive treatment by bishops so traumantised the young girls that most did not repeat the sin. If only today's bishops could all be so attentive. I know that even though the LDS church still tells bishops to ask young girls these questions, some bishops refuse to because they mistakenly believe it to be a sickening form of sexual abuse, and they fear physical violence from decent fathers when they find out what has happened.
*** NOTE TO THE READER OF THIS BLOG ***
This is NOT a website sanctioned by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
"President Paternoster" is not a stake president within the Church.
Rather, the content of this site varies from farce to pointed criticism [which is, at times, painfully accurate].
Many, but not necessarily all, of the posts are written in mockery of those who are sincerely striving, albeit imperfectly, to follow Jesus.
Caveat utilitor.
Maybe this forum could help Boyd K. Packer with his next talk. We all know that we're not supposed to play with our "little factories"...a concept designed for the young men in zion. But hey...what about the young women in zion?! Is there a good metaphor for the girls? The "bearded taco" or "camel toe" would seem a bit harsh for Boyd. The female anatomy is not quite like a little factory since the inventory is extremely limited and a bit messy. I call upon the collective geniuses who...I know will fast and pray about the "perfect metaphor" for his next pamplet.
Besides blindness and homosexuality, masturbation is known to cause hairy knuckles. In my youth, I did succumb to the temptations of Satan. At about the same age, I did start to grow hair on my knuckles. Now I am left with this embarrassing curse. I only wish that God would remove the hair from my knuckles as I became righteous in the same manner that he caused by skin to become white and delightsom.
Nutts requests a metaphor for the girls. In his wisdom, God has already provided the metaphor that he thinks is most fitting through his latter day prophets.
"Cupcake" The girls have been told that sexual sin will make them undesirable in the same manner that no one wants a cupcake that someone else has licked.
I am glad that no one else has ever licked my wife's cupcake.
Yeah, I like that...cherrrry flavored cupcakes...
I 'spose if your not a virgin you could be a "mince meat" with raspberry icing.
This is just great...and it is really inspiring. Boyd could reinforce other doctrinal gems taught in the past with this analogy. Instead of saying..."don't marry that dark person" he could say..."don't lick that chocolate cupcake....stick with vanilla or carrot cake".
Dear President,
I feel so much pleasure when I read your inspired words. Of course people want to believe the words of scientists when they clothe them in such crafty and scintillating language..."endorphins," "pelvic floor contractions," etc. It's all very alluring and tempting to imagine, "basking in this warm glow" while lying alone in bed at night with my chaste nightgown pulled up above my waist. (Even though I am single I am proud to say I dress in anticipation of the day when I will be able to attend the temple with a righteous priesthood holder. I know he will be so gratified when I wear the sacred garment night and day, under the most modest clothing I can find.)
Someday I dream of lifting the hem of my nightgown, removing the sacred undergarment and performing the procreative act with my righteous husband as quickly as possible before replacing this "shield and protection" in order to sleep the sleep of the righteous. Until then I will strive to keep my hands pure and undefiled no matter how many nights I lay tossing and turning, sleepless in my chaste nightgown and white (non-bikini) panties. THank you for your reassuring words. I will think of them tonight, I am sure.
ALSITOTC
Dearest President Paternoster,
You are truly an inspired spokesperson for god, yea, even a wise, righteous man. May all of your readers derive as much pleasure from reading your blog as I do. I feel the spirit, yea, with an intensity like unto .....um...anyway.
Yours in Christ, amen
Sister Olsen
When the church brings back it's righteous doctrine of polygymy and polyandry, than this horrid and disturbing sin of self intimacy will no longer be a curse upon the purest of saint. Hallelujah!
I am feeling maybe a little left out here. My masturbation has not led me into group sex, full homosexuality or even sex with animals. Rather just to more fun with my wife. Am I missing something?
President, I come to you for understanding and reassurance. This alarming article has just come to my attention.
According to the opening sentence, "The Irish Mormon Church has blamed increased unemployment and emigration for a drop of almost 30pc in donations by its members last year." To the natural man, these are perhaps believable explanations. However, those with a testimony of the Restored Gospel will ask, as I do, why the Lord has permitted this tribulation to come upon his True Church at this time.
President, is it Masturbation? Are there in Ireland other, less diligent, stake presidents who have allowed this practice to flourish, with consequent loss of their stakes' claim on the blessings of Heaven?
Perhaps President Paternoster is not free to speak openly about this matter. However, it seems all too likely that this most common of sexual sins is at the root of the problem. Nothing loses blessings faster than "these things" (Alma 39:3), and none of "these things" is commoner than masturbation.
When we take into account the arrival of this media report mere days after the President's inspired warning, I am afraid the picture becomes rather clear.
! J.Smith cometio ADULTERIO.Tambien se casó con mujeres que estaban casadas con otros hombres.¿ESTO ES LA IGLESIA RESTAURADA?!J.Smith !falso profeta!( Apoc.19:20) ¿donde reciben la marca los que son engañados por el FALSO profeta?(Hechos 7:48)(Apoc.21:22) ! Averiguen!
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Awesome! Stimulation at its best. Great blogging as usual! Sober Coach
I also am searching for the truth to this question. I am not involved in the practice but I have children for whom I am seeking guidance on how to teach. Currently I am under the opinion that abstinance, if for no other reason seems more of "the higher road". It also seems that those who engage in the practice are trying to walk a very fine line and the consequences can take life in some very unhealthy and undesirable places.
As I said earlier I have not come to any definite conclusions yet but have found some interesting info.
1. Read this: http://www.mormonstudies.net/pdf/mormon_masturbation.pdf.
There are some valid points made here. Bottom line there never has been an "Official" doctrine made on the matter and most of the information we do have has come from the opinions of those who have grown up in a different era and an environment filled with less facts about the truth and consequences of the matter. Furthermore, while I happen to lean on the side of Pres. Kimball's thinking from "Miracle of Forgiveness", and the strong points he makes, (as I doubt anyone will ever go too far wrong following those who are more righteous and more spiritual), I also have to recognize that this book was also his opinion (although a very good one). He was not the prophet at the time of its writing and he doesn't say "Thus saith the Lord". Hence we all have to accept that revelation may come giving us greater clarity on the subject that may not be exactly what we were expecting. Until that time we should be seeking the Spirit as the Spirit will guide us into all truth regardless whether there is official doctrine or not.
2. I am surprised that no one has asked a Bishop to look for the latest direction that is printed in the Bishops Handbook. I have a friend who called her Relief Society President who asked her specifically what the manual given to her says. I have yet to confirm with my Bishop what she said she was told but it was not what I expected. I will let each of you pursue that in your search for the truth.
God cannot look upon sin with any degree of allowance. We all must give up our sins no matter how small they are to enter His kingdom. There are no exceptions. And while we shouldn't overly worry ourselves with perfection in this life, (because being human we will all fall short of the glory of God, no exceptions there either.), our placement in the next world is contingent upon the choices we make in this world. The truth is important.
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