I received the following letter from a single sister the other day and felt it deserved a response.
Dear President Paternoster,
Thank you so much for standing up for the truth and not being shy in condemning the false doctrines of our day. Your blog has helped so many come unto Christ and I want you to know that your words are often used to provide clarification during Church meetings in our Young Single Adult ward. We have a saying in our ward "What Would President Paternoster Do?" (or WWPPD for short), which helps us during times of temptation to stay on the straight and narrow path towards eternal life. I believe it is every worthy sisters dream to one day meet and marry a priesthood holder as faithful and valiant, not to mention as handsome, as you.
My roommates and I were discussing the delicate topic of self stimulation the other day and I was shocked and horrified to find out that I am the only one who has never engaged in such an activity. I was taught in my youth that this was wrong, that boys couldn’t serve missions if they did this and that I needed to do all I could to be worthy of the love of a pure and undefiled return missionary. In each interview growing up my Bishop would inquire about this and I would assure him that I was not guilty of such a practice.
One of my roommates who didn’t grow up in the Church thought this was absolutely ridiculous and said that self stimulation is just a normal and natural part of growing up and learning how the body works. She pointed out that if God was against this then a woman who never married would be required to live her whole life without ever experiencing an orgasm. She wondered out loud what sort of God would require such a thing.
She said that self pleasuring has provided her the opportunity to discover the sensations and movements that work best to give her the greatest sexual gratification. She explained that this is an empowering thing and that it has helped her feel better about herself and her body.
She says that when she gets married she will be much better off than those who abstain (me, in other words) because knowing what her body needs to experience a fullness of pleasure she will be able to guide her husband. She seems to think this will strengthen their marriage.
My roommate went on to explain some of the scientific research that has been done and told us of some of the associated health benefits. The list is rather long. Apparently it helps prevent cervical infections and relieve urinary tract infections. It is associated with improved cardiovascular health and a lower risk of developing type-2 diabetes. It builds resistance to yeast infections and increases pelvic floor strength. It can help work against insomnia in a natural way by releasing calming hormones and endorphins, making us feel the warm afterglow that helps us sleep (no wonder I suffer from insomnia while she sleeps so soundly at night). She also said that men who engage in similar activities are far less likely to develop prostate cancer, that it keeps their reproductive systems strong and healthy, and strengthens the immune system.
President, the way she talked about it you would think it should be included as part of the Word of Wisdom.
I asked her whether she felt guilty about doing it and she said that although shame and guilt have been associated with masturbation for centuries society is now moving on from these attitudes. She thinks I should “get with the times”.
“But what about following the prophet”, I asked. She said that she looked in the manuals and on the official website of the church and could find nothing on the topic. She also found no references to the practice by ancient prophets in the scriptures. She assumes that the Church, like society in general, has moved on from and no longer discourages this activity.
As a believer she also said though that if I were to find some crystal clear instructions denouncing the practice, not in some old books written years ago, but currently on lds.org she would go to the bishop to confess and repent - and she would give up the habit.
President, can you help? Can you clarify the position of the Church, if one still exists, on this topic? I am finding her arguments to be somewhat persuasive and while reading from the pages of The Book of Mormon is certainly helpful I am having a very hard time getting to sleep at night.
Sincerely,
Jenni Hewitt, of Scottsdale, Arizona.
Dear Sister Hewitt,
Thank you so much for your letter. It is wonderful to hear that the words of my blog, which are only used to highlight and defend the position of the Church as given on its official website, are being discussed by the young people in such far off lands as America.
Surely the Lord is pleased when in a world of confusion and doubt there are still some who are willing to stand up for the inspired teachings of the Church, providing a beacon to the weary and the lost.
If only all sisters could be like unto you Jenni. You were reserved to come forth in this day and age, even in the dispensation of the fullness of times, to stand as a witness of God at all times and in all places. As you have kept yourself unspotted from the sins of this generation you have found joy and peace in a world laden with sin and iniquity. May you be blessed as you bear the burden of being a member of the only Church upon the earth in which the Lord is well pleased.
You have brought up an important question and one which confuses many. I will attempt, dear sister, to answer this question as best I can and pray that the spirit of the Lord will accompany me in so doing.
As a recent convert your roommate did not grow up in the Church and was thus denied many of the experiences and teachings which those of us who were born in the covenant take for granted. As such it is your responsibility, Jenni, to bring her up to your level of knowledge and understanding of the gospel and ensure that the opposite does not occur.
The gospel is the same yesterday, today and forever and God and His teachings have no need to “move along with the times”. If a certain habit was a sin yesterday then I can assure you that it is a sin today and no amount of justification, research or rational thinking can change that.
Your friend rationalizes that masturbation is a normal and natural part of growing up, but as a seminary student you would have memorized in your youth the sacred verse of scripture that teaches that natural man is an enemy of God and will be forever unless he yields to the enticings of the spirit.
I am thus prompted to ask the following questions:
Does the spirit of the Lord entice man to engage in acts of self mutilation?
Can a daughter of our father in heaven feel and follow the sweet promptings of the spirit of the Lord whilst touching her most sacred organs and imagining herself engaged in illicit acts of a sexual variety and nature with a man to whom she is not legally and lawfully wedded?
Would your roommate engage in such lasciviousness if she knew that Lord with his all piercing eye, yea he who suffered and bled from every pore for the sins of the world, could see her in the very act thereof?
I didn’t think so.
Your friend states that the prophets of old and lds.org have nothing to say on this important matter. You and I know that this is not true. I will show you, Jenni that modern day prophets know all about the worldly rationalization that takes place on this topic – the same worldly rationalization that your friend seems so familiar with.
For your benefit I will quote that which can be found today on the official website of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:
“The world rationalizes that masturbation is natural and healthy. However, President Spencer W. Kimball states the Lord's view as follows: "Prophets anciently and today condemn masturbation.”
Keep in mind Jenni that President Kimball isn’t giving his own view. No. As one having authority he states the Lord’s personal view on the matter. One may ask how this is possible since there are no scriptural records confirming this. The same could be said of the ancient prophets. How did President Kimball know that prophets anciently condemned masturbation? I will answer this.
Much like Joseph Smith, as President of the Church Kimball would have met regularly with the Lord and the ancient prophets on a variety of matters. Amongst all of the issues of the day, which likely included such topics as world hunger, war and other disasters, it is safe to assume that the pernicious evils of masturbation were discussed.
Lds.org goes on to say that masturbation “induces feelings of guilt and shame”. This guilt and shame is not currently felt by your friend because she has yet to be taught the fullness of the restored gospel of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. As you share with her your findings the spirit will help her to feel the Godly guilt and shame that are so necessary for sincere repentance and forgiveness to occur. A loving bishop can be very helpful in this process.
Your friend will soon see that rather than being a beautiful celebration of the body which was created by the Lord to have such feelings, the act of masturbation is (as the quote goes on to say) “detrimental to spirituality”. Rather than being a celebration of freedom “it indicates slavery to the flesh” and rather than being an act that will help her in the future eternal partnership of marriage it will in fact inhibit “the growth toward godhood which is the object of our mortal life.”
If this isn’t clear enough for your friend or if she tries to justify her iniquities by claiming that President Kimball’s quote is from too long ago please have her read this month’s Ensign article entitled ‘Teaching Chastity and Virtue’. Below is a quote from Richard G. Scott, a prophet, seer and revelator who currently serves as a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles:
He said: “Any sexual intimacy outside of the bonds of marriage—I mean any intentional contact with the sacred, private parts of another’s body, with or without clothing—is a sin and is forbidden by God. It is also a transgression to intentionally stimulate these emotions within your own body.”
Need we be any clearer than this?
The Lord has spoken and those who love Him will gladly obey.
Basically what it comes down to is would your friend rather feel the orgasmic ecstasy associated with the natural man or would she rather enjoy the sweet sensations that come from reading the scriptures and following the promptings of the Holy Ghost?
Jenni you mentioned in your letter something about serving missions that is confirmed on lds.org at the first link I provided. It is that “No young man should be called on a mission who is not free from this practice."
As a Stake President I faithfully abide by this principle and pride myself in having never sent a young man on a mission who is unclean.
Occasionally the Area Authorities will ask me why no missionaries have been sent out from my stake in the past 7 years. I always answer that the while the bar is high we as a stake have faith; we fast and pray often for a young man to rise up to the challenge.
As a word of warning I want to mention that I had one young man who wanted so badly to serve a mission but who was not free of this denigrating practice. He would give up the habit for a week, maybe two and he once went two whole months, but Satan always overpowered him in the end. He felt terrible about himself, lost all self confidence and quit a promising career as a rugby player. In a desperate attempt to escape his failures he turned to drinking and drugs and ended up in a rehabilitation care facility. Worst of all he was excommunicated from the Church. I occasionally see him wandering the streets of Dublin looking downtrodden and without purpose. All this could so easily have been avoided if he had just followed my counsel and trusted in the Lord.
Please don’t let this happen to your friend. Please stand by her as she overcomes her weakness and comes unto Christ with a full purpose of heart.
I am thankful for the fullness of the gospel and all that it teaches us. May God be with you Jenni in all your endeavours,
Sincerely,
President Paternoster